I'd like to thank the Academy................

So Forbes has decided to have a little fun at my expense.

While "WWE Smackdown!" has never been an Emmy contender, my special Smackdown Emmy has been earned by NBC News and its fractious former co-anchors for MSNBC's convention coverage. Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews played host to partisan dust-ups, back-and-forth bickering, and outstanding achievement in embarrassing the news division before they were abruptly reassigned as commentators for the rest of the campaign. And all without benefit of steroids or spandex!

But you know what? I'm having more fun because I get to deliver an Emmy Speech. It goes something like this "I'd like to thank the Academy for recognizing my brilliance. I'd thank my agent but honestly I do all the heavy lifting myself. I'd thank my staff and crew but let's get serious here. It's an honor for them to work with me. I'd thank Phil Griffin but everyone knows he's my butt boy already and I walk all over him on a daily basis. And the suits at NBC-Uni? Don't even get me started. Where was I? Oh yeah, thank yous. Yeah, let me thank what's her name--seriously....what's her name again? Oh yeah, Katy. But it's not like she had anything to do with this award. So who does that leave? Yep. Me. It's always, always, always all about me. As it should be. So thanks Academy. I can't say I didn't earn this because I totally did. I just want to know why it took you so long to note my brilliance to begin with.