Keith Olbermann's Ego-Twit's Tweets in the Library of Congress

It's no accident that a week after the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego-Twit began tweeting that the Library of Congress decided to being archiving every single tweet tweeted on Twitter (you try saying that three times fast). Now Keith Olbermann's Tweets will be perserved forevermore as evidence of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego (along with the Ego's well-known fascination with anything baseball, Yankees-related, and of course, hot young babes).

It's called Strategy people.

So how does Keith Olbermann's Ego keep his name at the forefront and garner press while taking a vacation time-off to be with his baseball column and Ebay ill-father. Easy people: start a media feud with a semi-famous sports writer. Unconventional, yes, normally The Ego likes to strike up and bat at a bigger media target, your Bill O'Reillys, Rupert Murdochs, etc. etc. But baseball season is coming up and it's time once again for the Ego to solidify his bonafides as The Sports Authority. So the Ego takes what he can get and it's this punk Simmons. And it's already paying off, see, comparisons to Howard Cosell! Ignore this one. It's from that little pesky website that Dan Abrams runs. All lies. And I don't know what this idiot is talking about, Keith Olbermann's Ego doesn't even own a horse. And Deadspin, just know that Deadspin is run by the same people who run Gawker. They are on the Enemy List. But look, they all mention the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego and that's what it's all about people: getting attention when The Ego can't be bothered with showing up to work is nursing a sick loved one. The Ego particularly likes it when people point out (quite rightly) that Simmons is doomed because to engage in a battle of wits you have to have them to begin with and the Ego is packing people. And obviously Keith Olbermann's Ego has won this pissing match because this little bitch Simmons has already cried uncle.

Could Life Get Any Better for Keith Olbermann's Ego?

Spring Training is about to begin (and Katy Tur's Ego is over 3,000 miles away in Canada at the Vancouver Olympics). It just does not get any better than that. So life is good for Keith Olbermann's Ego but then again it's always good being the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Happy Almost Birthday to Me

Keith Olbermann's Ego's Birthday is coming up. The Ego still likes to think of himself as a slim, trim 35, not the actual 51 that The Ego will be on 1/27. Anyway, The Ego knows that his fans love to shower him with gifts for his birthday. The Ego thought that he would provide you with some helpful hints to avoid buying loser birthday presents. Now where shall we begin?

Baseball Cards. That would be a negative. The Ego already has every baseball card ever made and do you honestly think that you mere mortals could hope to produce a card not already in The Ego's possession?

Playboy Magazines. The Ego already has a complete collection, but thanks for thinking of what The Ego likes to think about: naked women. If however, you are under the age of 25, and your measurements equal no more than 100 inches TOTAL (38-26-36 equals 100 ladies) and you have a face that won't stop a clock, then by all means, feel free to submit your photos to me for the Ego's personal enjoyment if you catch my drift. If you've got a butter face like most of Tiger Wood's rejects, then just send me the body shot instead. Then again, maybe something like this would be better altogether. They don't ask for half your fortune later.

Ties. Also a big no. The Ego has a very carefully color-coordinated wardrobe and given some of the ahem, interesting, choices made by fans in the past, The Ego does not want and will not wear your ugly-ass tie on air. Although The Ego is not ruling out using them for uhm, restraints.

Artwork Unless it's a signed original by a collectible artist or an authentic print again by a collectible artist, The Ego is not interested. This means no homemade shit that I've seen some of you posting on the internets. You make think you're Van Gogh but The Ego, having seen your artistic..uh..talents thinks it's more of a case of Van Gosh. And Van Don't. Please don't. Let The Ego re-emphasize that point. No homemade bumper stickers you think are clever. No photoshops. No reproductions of the Ego's likeness in Toast.

Food. The Ego will not accept any type of edible product unless it comes from a well-known third-party (Godiva) and arrives completely sealed for the Ego's protection. We do not want any repeat of the attempted-poisoning of The Ego that occurred a few yeas back.

Cologne. The Ego does not need to receive a box set of Old Spice or English Leather.

Books. Unless it's a signed first edition by a well-known author, again, The Ego is not interested. This goes double and triple for any books on baseball. Do you really think you're going to find a baseball book that The Ego doesn't already have in his possession and couldn't write better if he had been the author?

Bobbleheads. The Ego does like his Bobbleheads. But again, if you've got something you think is original and The Ego would like, it's already in the Ego's collection.

Anything Monty Python or A Christmas Story related. Please, if there's a valuable collectible of an Ego fav, don't you think that Keith Olbermann's Ego already has it and it is already placed in The Ego's archive along with the baseball cards and the old Playboy mags? I know, I know, you think you're special. You're different. You and you alone are capable of picking out a unique present for The Ego. Again, after many, many very bad presents, The Ego knows differently and would like to point out that these are the same post-menopausal, pathetic spinsters (that means over the age of 25) who also operate under the mistake delusion that they would make an ideal mate for The Ego. Again, WRONG.

Now that we've got the ground rules all squared away, The Ego would also like to remind you that he will not accept any gifts that come to his personal home address. Sure the address has been posted on the internets. I know you know where The Ego lives. That does not mean you're allowed to visit there or send mail to that address. Those who violate this rule will either be thrown in jail for stalking or your pathetic present will be thrown away without being opened. If you really think you have come up with a unique present, then by all means, send to The Ego's attention at 30 Rock in NYC. There The Ego has a team of willing interns who understand that it is their job to give their lives if necessary to protect The Ego by opening his mail and performing other assorted duties for the Ego.

It's Labor Day!

Go out and see a MLB game or something, sure your seats won't be as great as the Ego's but maybe you can catch a glimpse of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego!

How Dare Anyone Question Keith Olbermann's Knowledge of Baseball

Keith Olbermann is a baseball legend (even if he's never played a single game). Yet this dweeb at Sporting News just doesn't get that. But don't click on that link. The Ego wants to protect his devoted fans from the truth lies spread by that columnist and in the comments section at this stupid little blog. Listen instead to the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego on where else, the Baseball Nerd. Because as you know, the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego cannot let a single criticisim of Keith Olbermann go unaddressed. P.S. Note how the Ego smoothly worked in a reference to his charitable works at the end of the post--now that's classy huh?

Egospeak deciphered

So the Ego has been "under the weather". As you know, it's "flu/allergy" season. For the slow amongst you, let Keith Olbermann's Ego put it into simple language you can understand: it's Baseball Season. There are two new baseball parks in NYC. The Ego lives in NYC. Do the math people.

You expect a new post every day?

Please people. It's baseball season! The Ego has priorities and responsibilities. There are not one, but count 'em, two new baseball parks in NYC. It is vital for the sake of baseball history that The Ego be present at each and every game (or as many as possible). Priorities people, priorities. The Ego has them. You need to respect The Ego's priorities. Better yet, come join the Ego at a game or two. Oh right, you poor bastards can't afford the kind of seats the Ego laid out major coin for. Guess you'll just have to read about it at the Baseball Nerd's blog huh? Suckers. And we don't mean the kind Katy is chewing on here either.

Keith Olbermann Blogs Baseball

Just how many blogs does Keith Olbermann need? In addition to this non-official blog run by Keith's fabulously large Ego, Keith now has an entire blog devoted to his one true love. And no, Katy, it ain't about you. And for all of the many millions of Keith's fans--no, it's not about any of you either. Not even the several (?) that Keith's Libido has slept with (and no, don't look for that blog anytime soon). MSNBC? Not unless they cough up more dough. So who said baseball? Yeah, it's all about baseball. What else?

What's more important? News or baseball?

Stupid question. The answer is always, always, always baseball.

Things I love the Most

The Yankees and Myself. Pop Quiz: Count how many times I talk about myself in this article.

Why I like TV Newser and the Chicago Cubs

TV Newser will believe anything (and I do mean anything I or my flunkies tell them. I like that in a reporter.

This week at the RNC, the tone is different. Broadcasting & Cable's Joel Topcik notes MSNBC is, "pulling itself together and looking like a news network again." Of course, there's a major difference in the coverage this week — Keith Olbermann, their lead anchor, is in New York.

I love New York. It's where I function best.

MSNBC president Phil Griffin tells TVNewser how the decision was made for Olbermann to stay in New York. And it all began in Chicago. Griffin and Olbermann were at the Chicago Cubs game Saturday, separately.

What do you think I'd actually attend a game with Phil? Seriously, the guy's my bitch, not a friend.

Olbermann also went to Sunday's game and, during a morning email exchange, Griffin suggested Olbermann should go back to New York, instead of on to St. Paul. Olbermann responded "Seriously?"

Note he suggested. Not ordered me. No one orders me to do anything. Ever. Especially not Phil.

"I made the decision to send Keith back on Sunday, early afternoon. It looked like the storm was going to be the story in the beginning of the week and I needed him in the right position to own that story," Griffin tells TVNewser.

Okay Phil, you're on notice pal. And by pal, I mean, "my bitch". You don't decide anything about me that I don't decide first, got it? And we both know I did not want to go to either Louisiana to cover the hurricane first-hand or to the RNC. So naturally NYC was the best place for me to be.

But several insiders we talked to have questioned why Olbermann, who has attacked Republicans regularly on his show, was the only cable anchor covering the RNC from New York. Several sources inside NBC and MSNBC have told TVNewser there is truth to many of the stories that have been discussed, rumored and reported about Olbermann and Matthews over the past week.

Okay, here TV Newser is stepping over the line. They are quoting gossip websites and worthless tabloid rags which of course print lies about me because they're afraid of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Massive Ego. But otherwise they are suck-ups and I love suck-ups. The suckier, the better. Watch how I've turned Chris Matthews into my bitch too. This guy better kiss my ass at every available turn if he knows what's good for him.

So, TVNewser asked Chris Matthews today in St. Paul. "We're complimentary first of all," Matthews says. "He's a broadcaster, I'm sort of a political guy, he's a broadcaster."

Chris forgot to add modification to that sentence. As in, "he's the greatest broadcaster in the history of the medium." Other than that, at least he was groveling. I love groveling. The more the better.

But do they truly get along? "He's very professional, very orderly in his way," Matthews says of Olbermann. "He operates in a very professional, predictable...well he's obviously a strong performer. But he obviously operates in a very orderly...and I don't mean this as a put-down but...predictable. He's a very strongly predicable person in the way of his professionalism. I'm uneven and, what's the right word, flamboyant and impulsive."

Notice how Chris didn't really answer the question that was put to him? And how TVN really didn't press them on the answer? I've taught them both well.

But Matthews tells TVNewser, "You gotta watch it. Don't you see that we get along? Forget the scuttle, don't you see how we get along? I think it's pretty obvious we get along."

Chris sounds almost pathetic there doesn't he? There's a reason for that. He is. But at least he knows whose ass he'd better kiss and that's mine. And that's all I really care about. That and baseball. What? Go home after the DNC? Hell no. There were baseball games to attend. And why the Cubs? Have you seen the Yankees play lately? I rest my case.

Damn Wonkette too.

Not only does Wonkette mock the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's EGO, one of their so-called comments contains a little hint as to where I was this weekend. Hint: Not in St. Paul or NYC. In Chicago. At Wrigley Field. In the Press Box. Watching Baseball.

OK, my husband spotted Olbermann sitting in the press box at Wrigley Field at both Saturday’s and Sunday’s Cubs games (not reporting, mind you, but just hangin’ out). I opined that maybe he was spending his between-conventions-time in Chicago before heading north, but now that theory’s gone. WTF Keith? Did your 23 year old girlfriend (or whatever) miss you that much that you had to head back to NYC?

Yeah, so I've been outed. Big f'ing deal. I like baseball okay? And I have more important things to do than cover some stupid Republican Convention or cover a hurricane or whatever.