Happy New Year from Keith Olbermann's Ego!

Keith Olbermann's Ego and his very dear friends here would like to wish you all a very Happy New Year!

Keith Olbermann's Ego is Not Amused.

The Ego has just added the LA Times to the offical enemies list.

Here is an actual correction from Page A4 of today's print edition: FOR THE RECORD: TV listings: The Prime-Time TV grid in Thursday's Calendar section mistakenly listed MTV's "Jackass" show on the MSNBC cable schedule at 7 and 10 p.m. where instead MSNBC's "Countdown With Keith Olbermann" should have been listed.

Now this is more like it!

As we all know, Keith Olbermann's Ego loves the love. Specifically, when people love Keith Olbermann. And this diarist at Kos gets it. God bless 'em. The rest of you? Get busy. I want to see lots more fawning. And fast. And fawning. Did I mention the fawning?

Keith Olbermann's 10-Foot High Head

That's life-sized actually once you factor in The Ego.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, President-elect Barack Obama is on his way to the big screen, thanks to a deal between MSNBC and Screenvision that will put the news channel's inaugural coverage in 27 theaters around the country. Free tickets are being handed out via MSNBC.com to see the inauguration and parade from 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m. ET at the 27 theaters run by 11 exhibitor partners in 21 markets. That means that Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews and other MSNBC and NBC personalities will play the big movie screen in addition to the usual MSNBC cable and satellite stream.

Ahhhh. The Ego and the Big Screen. We meet at last. We always knew that one day we'd be a major motion picture star. Or something.

Keith Olbermann is not Jesus Christ

Sure Keith Olbermann has a massive ego. I mean come on, The Ego has it's own blog! But never, ever (not yet anyway) has The Ego compared himself to Jesus Christ. Bill O'Reilly is truly the gift that keeps on giving isn't he?

When Giant Chin Meets Gigantic Ego

so says Jossip. Hmmm. Which one am I again?

How much is Keith Olbermann worth?

Keith Olbermann is priceless. But if forced to pick a number, then the answer is $30 million over four years. Sure that bumps The Ego up into a higher tax category (thanks President Obama) but who the hell cares? Keith Olbermann is the king god of cable news. As it should be.

Yeah you heard the Ego right

NIGHTLY special comments baby! More of The Ego is always, always a good thing.

John McCain knows who I am!

And Keith Olbermann's Ego has the video to prove it! Even if he did imply that there was a padded room ready and waiting for The Ego.

3 Debates

That's how long it took for TVNewser to figure out that Keith Olbermann's Ego wasn't exactly serving as an "analyst" for MSNBC but was instead, still serving as an anchor on debate nights. What did this fool think I was going to do? Sit alongside the likes of Chris Matthews or Joe "Scar" Scarborough like they were my equals or something? Instead I got rid of the baggage (seriously, Matthews was dragging me down) and The Ego gets Two Hours to say and do whatever the hell it wants. As it should be. Ain't life grand? It is when you are the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

David Letterman?

So on my list. Apparently he had this to say last week about me. Or more accurately, my big giant head. Seriously, this is what he said about me. That I have a big giant head. Don't believe me? Read this.

In announcing the tenative return of McCain to the show, Letterman reminded viewers that he had been reduced to booking "that guy with the giant head," Keith Olbermann, as a last-minute replacement.

But does Dave ask WHY I have a giant head? To contain my giant ego, duh.

Page Six and Me.

Keith Olbermann's massive ego would like to remind you that tomorrow Page Six will print an untrue story about me. How do I know it will be untrue? Because it's in Page Six, duh. On the plus side, they feel I'm important enough to write about and you know how much the Ego enjoys being noticed. Again, it will all be untrue. Even the parts that are true, got it?

In honor of Friday night's Countdown

For those of you who were somewhat taken aback by the content matter of Friday night's show. Because if you can't love yourself who else can you love?

They say imitation is the sincerest form

of flattery but somehow I'm annoyed that Campbell Brown now thinks she can morph herself into moi and somehow gain ratings for her pathetic little news hour. Still, I was mentioned in the article so that pleases me. I can never get enough of me.

Enough already.

If I have to read one more article about everyone's favorite Lesbian, Rachel Maddow I'm going to throw up. What about me? What about my ego? It must be fed dammit. Where is the press love for me? I used to be everyone's darling. And you know what really blows? That these glowing articles about Rachel (trust me she ain't all that) don't mention me or give me all the credit for her success, as they should. Because without me? She's nothing.

Damn Wonkette too.

Not only does Wonkette mock the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's EGO, one of their so-called comments contains a little hint as to where I was this weekend. Hint: Not in St. Paul or NYC. In Chicago. At Wrigley Field. In the Press Box. Watching Baseball.

OK, my husband spotted Olbermann sitting in the press box at Wrigley Field at both Saturday’s and Sunday’s Cubs games (not reporting, mind you, but just hangin’ out). I opined that maybe he was spending his between-conventions-time in Chicago before heading north, but now that theory’s gone. WTF Keith? Did your 23 year old girlfriend (or whatever) miss you that much that you had to head back to NYC?

Yeah, so I've been outed. Big f'ing deal. I like baseball okay? And I have more important things to do than cover some stupid Republican Convention or cover a hurricane or whatever.

Conde Nast can kiss my ass.

So this idiot at Portfolio says that MSNBC can't be the liberal Fox. I beg your pardon. That's who we already are. First of course he references legitimate news organizations who are of course quoting the NY Post.

What on earth is going on at MSNBC? Politico, Variety and The Wall Street Journal all have stories today about how personal friction between Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews and Joe Scarborough has increasingly been spilling over onto the screen. "They have to just grow up," says Connie Chung. Or, you know, whip out a measuring tape and get it over with.

Rumor-mongering idiot.

Everything on Fox is subordinate to this sensibility. If Bill O'Reilly were to go off the reservation, Roger Ailes would just dump him and make a new O'Reilly from scratch. At MSNBC, it's all different. There's no top-down governing sensibility; whatever sensibility there is has emerged willy-nilly. Because there's nothing bigger than the personalities, the personalities have expanded to fill the vacuum. Keith Olbermann knows he can't be easily replaced because what would you replace him with? He's an accident. There's no mold to refill. NBC hitched its wagon to his star, and now it's hostage to his whims. And if those whims include humiliating his co-anchors on-camera or refusing to share a stage with Tom Brokaw, what are you going to do?

Damn right it's built around me. And what's the problem with that buddy? I've got them over a barrel and they know it. I own those bitches dammit.

When Rupert Murdoch decided to start a news network with a political slant, it was in the spirit of "If we build it, they will come." MSNBC's mantra, in contrast, has been "If they come, we'll build it." Politics aside, which is a better way to erect a lasting edifice?

I'll show you a lasting edifice. By the time finished I'll be on the side of Mt. Rushmore.

Another song from my Ipod

I'm on my way I'm making it, huh!
I've got to make it show yeah, hey!
So much larger than life
I'm gonna watch it growing
Hey hey hey heyyyyyyy

The place where I come from is a small town
They think so small, they use small words
But not me, I'm smarter than that,
I worked it out
I'll be stretching my mouth to let those big words come right out
I've had enough, I'm getting out
to the city, the big big city
I'll be a big noise with all the big boys, so much stuff I will own
And I will pray to a big god, as I kneel in the big church

Big time, I'm on my way I'm making it, big time, oh yes
Big time, I've got to make it show yeah, big time
Big time, so much larger than life
Big time, I'm gonna watch it growing, big time
Ho ohh ohh, oh oh, ho ohh ohh, oh ohhh

My parties have all the big names and I greet them with the widest smile
Tell them how my life is one big adventure
and always they're amazed when I show them 'round my house to my bed
I had it made like a mountain rage with a snow white pillow for my big fat head
And my heaven will be a big heaven, and I will walk through the front door

Big Time, I'm on my way I'm making it, big time, Huh!
Big time, I've got to make it show yeah, big time
Big time, so much larger than life
Big time, I'm gonna watch it growing, big time
Big time, my car is getting bigger Big time, my house is getting bigger
Big time, my eyes are getting bigger
and my mouth
Big time, my belly's getting bigger
Big time, and my bank account
Big time, look at my circumstance
Big time, and the bulge in my big big big big big big big big big big big big big big big, hi there

Another song from my IPod

Me as VP?

I like the sound of that. Sure this guy is a Republican apologist but look, he recognizes me as a potential Veep candidate. What's not to love about that?