Boot Brokaw? I'm all for it.

Ha ha ha ha. My minions are hard at work. And the best part of it all? I didn't have to say a word. That'll teach Tom Brokaw to mess with the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Thank God. Gawker Gets It!

Gawker gets it.

So, MSNBC President Phil Griffin, be a fucking man for once and hold your ground against Zucker and NBC News President Steve Capus and even Original Blowhard Tom Brokaw (seriously, why did the act of "retiring" bestow respectability upon that hack?). If people wanted Brian Williams and David Gregory to cover everything quietly and politely they'd actually watch your evening news. Scarborough, Olbermann, Matthews, and Maddow are the best of cable this year, because of their unique ability to annoy the shit out of each other and also to generally know what the fuck they're talking about, which is basically unheard of on television, let alone cable news.

Et Tu New York Times?

I thought the NY Times loved me. Where's the love? Did they have to put this on the front page where everyone could see it?

After months of accusations of political bias and simmering animosity between MSNBC and its parent network NBC, the channel decided over the weekend that the NBC News correspondent and MSNBC host David Gregory would anchor news coverage of the coming debates and election night. Mr. Olbermann and Mr. Matthews will remain as analysts during the coverage.

Oh I'll analyze alright. I'll analyze like no one has ever analyzed before in the history of the medium.

Executives at the channel’s parent company, NBC Universal, had high hopes for MSNBC’s coverage of the political conventions. Instead, the coverage frequently descended into on-air squabbles between the anchors, embarrassing some workers at NBC’s news division, and quite possibly alienating viewers. Although MSNBC nearly doubled its total audience compared with the 2004 conventions, its competitive position did not improve, as it remained in last place among the broadcast and cable news networks.

Look, we kicked ass in the ratings as compared to 2004. What more do these idiots want? And fights? Yeah, sure we fought. But people wanted to see the fights. It was part of the entertainment. Why couldn't people just get that? And those whiny ass NBC folks? They can kiss my ass. Really. I want them to kiss my ass. Repeatedly. Okay, sure that may have been part of the problem. But who's more important? Them or me? That's right. ME. Except maybe not so much at least until November. Then I'll be back off-leash and ready to rumble. And who will I come looking for first? Those whiny-ass NBCers. That's right Brokaw. You're on the list. So is Williams. And Gregory? Don't make me laugh. Looks like Howdy Dowdy's love child with Anderson Cooper.I have to say though I did get a laugh off of one thing in this so-called news article. A perfect example of what happens when the Mouth gives unauthorized quotes and doesn't let the EGO speak, nonsense like this:

“I found it ironic and instructive that I could have easily said exactly what I did say, exactly when I did say it, if I had been wearing a different hat, and nobody would have taken any issue,” he said.

Can I get a translator or three in here, stat? Hell, even I can't translate that one. Update: The Mouth tells me it didn't give this quote. The Ass was in charge of spitting out that quote. That certainly helps explain it but I still can't translate it.

Some staff members said the tension led to the network’s decision to keep Mr. Olbermann in New York for the Republican convention, after he ran the desk in Denver during the Democratic convention. MSNBC said that he stayed in New York to anchor coverage of Hurricane Gustav. But some workers say there were other reasons — namely, that Mr. Olbermann was concerned about his safety in St. Paul, given the loud crowds at MSNBC’s set in Denver.

Look, I don't even like crowds when they're friendly. The EGO does not mingle with the common folk. Did they really think I was going to endanger life and limb by diving into a GOP-centric audience? Why would they want to damage their STAR Anchor? Okay sure some wanted to see me torn limb from limb but that was just Scarborough and Abrams. Losers. Oh and one more thing? For all you haters who think that NBC doesn't love me anymore? Check it out babies:

Just last year, Mr. Olbermann signed a four-year, $4-million-a-year contract with MSNBC. NBC is close to supplementing that contract with Mr. Olbermann, extending his deal through 2013 — and ensuring that he will be on MSNBC through the next election.

That's right. The EGO roars again. Just had to let everyone know that I'll be live and large on your tv screen straight through to 2013. Sure NBC doesn't like it. Hell, most of MSNBC doesn't like it. But you know what? I make so damn much money I can buy and sell them all. So life is still good for me. And that's really all that matters, right?

Add the Washington Post to my list

Yeah, that's right. I'm number one baby. Me. And only me. And you know what else? The Washington Post is number one at the top of my list this morning. Their little bitch Howard Kurtz doesn't like me to begin with.

Anyone who thought the Democratic convention would be a dull and choreographed affair clearly didn't count on the bitter, ego-fueled clashes that marked the week. And that was just at MSNBC.

Ha ha. Isn't he funny? Look, I denied this. So if I denied it, even if there is videotape to prove otherwise, it never happened. Got it?

But a number of NBC correspondents are upset over the recent antics at their sister channel, prompting longtime anchor Tom Brokaw to say last week that Olbermann and Matthews have at times "gone too far."

Brokaw went too far when his criticism of the greatness that is me fell out of his mouth. I've made him grovel to me so I feel better now and while he is not forgiven, Kurtz is out of line for even bringing this up.

Olbermann dismisses the "overblown stories" as "nonsense," telling The Washington Post that Pat Buchanan appears regularly on MSNBC and that Scarborough "has never been censored, reined in, called on any carpet for his views, just as I haven't." Just because he disagrees with Murphy or Buchanan, Olbermann says, "doesn't mean the network is inhospitable to their points of view."

See? If I deny it, it hasn't happened and isn't true unless I say it is.

One network staffer, who declined to be named describing private conversations, says MSNBC President Phil Griffin told him that "our audience hates Bush" and that squeezing conservative shows into a liberal lineup would just drive them away.

Okay back to my commandments again. If they refuse to go on record as to who they are then nothing they have to say is true, got it? And doesn't everyone hate Bush? I mean all the people that count that is.

While Lou Dobbs serves up incendiary opinions at CNN, none of its prime-time hosts -- Campbell Brown, Larry King and Anderson Cooper -- is known for ideological views.

I'll tell you what CNN's prime is known for: boredom and bad ratings.

Phil Griffin has tried to smooth things over. He apologized to analyst Mike Murphy after the Olbermann incident, and Brokaw made a point of appearing with Murphy on Scarborough's show the next morning.

Note who did NOT apologize to Murphy. And you know why? Because I was right. I'm always right.

Griffin did not respond to requests for comment last week,

You know why Phil didn't respond for a comment to the WashPo? Because he was out running my errands that's why. Really what's more important? Me or the Washington Post? Right. It's me. It's always me. And Phil gets that. He knows he's my bitch. Speaking of bitches, more blathering from Kurtz:

MSNBC finished last for the week, but it is attracting more viewers than in the past, along with some unwanted attention.

I resent his characterization of our ratings as being in last place. Sure it's true but the important thing is that more people are watching us even if more people are watching other networks.

"Until recently, MSNBC didn't count," Olbermann says. "We didn't move the needle. We do now, and then some. And this scares people, especially people who work for Rupert Murdoch."

Yeah baby, that's the way I like it. Rupert and Bill and all those pinheads at Fox get up every morning thinking of ways they can get to me, Keith Olbermann's Ego. Creating all these false gossip stories about on-air squabbling at MSNBC. It never happened. Got it? If I say so, it never happened. If I say we have the best ratings of all the cable networks then it's true too. You know why? Because I said so. And what I say matters. Got it? Good, now don't forget it.

Conde Nast can kiss my ass.

So this idiot at Portfolio says that MSNBC can't be the liberal Fox. I beg your pardon. That's who we already are. First of course he references legitimate news organizations who are of course quoting the NY Post.

What on earth is going on at MSNBC? Politico, Variety and The Wall Street Journal all have stories today about how personal friction between Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews and Joe Scarborough has increasingly been spilling over onto the screen. "They have to just grow up," says Connie Chung. Or, you know, whip out a measuring tape and get it over with.

Rumor-mongering idiot.

Everything on Fox is subordinate to this sensibility. If Bill O'Reilly were to go off the reservation, Roger Ailes would just dump him and make a new O'Reilly from scratch. At MSNBC, it's all different. There's no top-down governing sensibility; whatever sensibility there is has emerged willy-nilly. Because there's nothing bigger than the personalities, the personalities have expanded to fill the vacuum. Keith Olbermann knows he can't be easily replaced because what would you replace him with? He's an accident. There's no mold to refill. NBC hitched its wagon to his star, and now it's hostage to his whims. And if those whims include humiliating his co-anchors on-camera or refusing to share a stage with Tom Brokaw, what are you going to do?

Damn right it's built around me. And what's the problem with that buddy? I've got them over a barrel and they know it. I own those bitches dammit.

When Rupert Murdoch decided to start a news network with a political slant, it was in the spirit of "If we build it, they will come." MSNBC's mantra, in contrast, has been "If they come, we'll build it." Politics aside, which is a better way to erect a lasting edifice?

I'll show you a lasting edifice. By the time finished I'll be on the side of Mt. Rushmore.

You know why I love Daily Kos?

Because they'll believe anything I tell them without even thinking about it. God I love the comments there. Look at the love and adoration they heap upon me. And not one of them even thinks to ask this question: why do I deny the Brokaw story but don't deny the stories about my having Abrams, Tucker Carlson, and Scarborough (he's next) booted. You know why I don't mention it? Yeah, you know. And I know. But the Kossacks? They just don't. So let's just keep that little secret between you and me okay?

Oh and one more thing? Sometimes when I deny something it's in direct proportion to how true it actually happens to be. And if Brokaw were smart he'd watch his back. See that big ole' pat I just gave him? Look close and you'll see a knife carefully hidden in my hand. Death by a thousand cuts and all that.

Ditto the little creep from Jossip

How dare he.

It's been Page 6's regular duty to defend its corporate cousin Fox News and, more specifically, Bill O'Reilly, whose regular feuds with Keith Olbermann have provided for endless copy and ratings. And today's item is no different. It's an assault on Olbermann, and carries the same claims we've long been making: That he's trying to run the place.

Okay at least he pointed out that Murdoch, Bill O'Reilly, Fox and Page Six all hate me. But this idea that I'm trying to run MSNBC? Could he just keep that quiet? Please?

The former MSNBCer then goes on to add this:

Olbermann has long been said to be trying to oust his biggest rival, Chris Matthews. Matthews' contract will soon be up, and it's barely an open secret that Olbermann wants him out.

Matthews is a joke. I'm just trying to do the humane thing and put him out of my misery. Yes, you read that right, it is all about me remember?

So who's next, supposedly, on Olbermann's death wish list? Former NBC Nightly News anchor and current special correspondent Tom Brokaw: "Insiders say Olbermann is pushing to have Brokaw banned from the network and is also refusing to have centrist Time magazine columnist Mike Murphy on his show. 'The idea of anyone trying to ban Tom Brokaw is ludicrous,' said one MSNBC-er. Brokaw was on MSNBC for an hour yesterday afternoon."

Yes the former NBC anchor was on for an entire hour out of more than 20 hours of DNC coverage. Okay, so Jossip may be right.

Now, we've heard the requisite insider denials from MSNBC that "all is well" dozens of times before. And the rule we've learned: Ignore the downplaying, because it most often turns out to be true.

This is the real reason I hate P6 and Jossip (among others). Sometimes the gossip is true.

Memo to Tom Brokaw and Ed Rendell: Bite me.

Reason 999 that Tom Brokaw needs to really retire and shut the hell up.

During a panel this afternoon in Denver about media coverage of the presidential campaigns, NBC's Tom Brokaw found himself defending MSNBC, once again. Politico's Michael Calderone attended the panel which was moderated by PBS' Judy Woodruff with participants Brokaw, ABC's George Stephanopoulos and CBS's Bob Schieffer. Also in attendance, Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell, who supported Hillary Clinton in the primary. Rendell and Brokaw began debating NBC's campaign coverage, including the comments by correspondent Lee Cowan as well as MSNBC. "MSNBC was the official network of the Obama campaign," Rendell said, who called their coverage "absolutely embarrassing." Chris Matthews, Rendell said, "loses his impartiality when he talks about the Clintons." Brokaw responded saying "

I think Keith has gone too far. I think Chris has gone too far,"

the veteran NBC newsman said at a forum sponsored by Harvard's Shorenstein press center. Matthews and Keith Olbermann are "not the only voices" on MSNBC.

What the hell? Gone too far? I haven't gone far enough! And someone (namely me) needs to remind the old man that I am MSNBC. I own MSNBC. And half of NBC and he better never, ever forget it. Maybe he should talk to Dan Abrams and Tucker Carlson. Hee hee.

And this putz at Politico? He doesn't like me to begin with so therefore any reports he makes, even if he's quoting other people do not count. But at least he reported the vigorous defense of me by Judy Woodruff. Sure she's an old broad but she knows greatness when she sees it. When Ed Rendell said what he did about MSNBC she replied with this: PBS's Judy Woodruff, who was moderating the moderators event, said:

"Why don’t we let Governor Rendell sit down."
That was met with applause from the crowd of big-time media figures, which included Arianna Huffington, Gwen Ifill, Al Hunt, and Chuck Todd.

They are all my bitches too. And why? Because I'm a big damn deal and they know it. And that's exactly how it should be.