There isn't even a contest. Keith Olbermann or Bill O'Reilly?

The Ego has a love-hate relationship with Jossip. Sometimes they like The Ego, sometimes not. Today they're gauging public opinion on who is worse-Keith Olbermann or Bill-O. They're f'ing kidding The Ego aren't they?

At least the piece got off to a decent start:

Bill O'Reilly is a stupid racist posing as a newsman and shamming old people and rednecks into buying poison. To us, there's really nothing worse on television today. Literally nothing. We'd rather every station constantly play HeadOn ads than have to hear about the lying prick ever again

My thoughts exactly.

Both men are liars who distort facts to make points.

Keith Olbermann's Ego lie? Never. (Unless of course it's to make The Ego look better).

Keith Olbermann is a conceited, rich, hypocritical windbag, his saving grace is that at least he's not a rotten bigot

Well there is that.

Again, to be sure, Olbermann is not the type of man to beatify, and he should be watched with the same amount of skepticism one brings to a magic show…but he's still better than Bill O'Reilly.

This is the part that the Ego has the real problem with. What does they mean that The Ego is not someone to beatify? I'm Keith Olbermann's Gigantic Ego, an ego like none other. I'm brilliant. Handsome. Rich. Successful. I am exactly the type of man whose likeness should be carved in stone somewhere. How dare Jossip suggest otherwise.

Keith Olbermann and a 17-year old?

Keith Olbermann's Ego would never touch a 17-year old. But 18? 18's legal in all 50 states right?

But Katy Tur was actually 23 when Keith Olbermann's Nymphet-Loving Ego moved her into the "Love Shack" so it's all legal got it?

I really, really, really hate Jossip

How many ways do I hate Jossip? As high as I can count and that's a lot because I'm brilliant. Did you know I went to Cornell and that I graduated from high school when I was 16? Now you do if you didn't already. Where was I? Oh yeah, Jossip. Hate 'em. Really, really hate them. But this one is kinda making me laugh. Hee hee. The staff is pissed at my bitch Phil Griffin. Now they know how I feel.

MSNBC staffers didn't appreciate waking up this morning to read the latest company fumble in the New York Times instead of, say, a staff email or memo from topper Phil Griffin. That's just the latest in a string of complaints reaching us from across NBC News' bureaus following the revelation that Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews would no longer be manning the anchor chair during hard news events; instead, they'll once again return to the pundit circle. Part of the announcement was that David Gregory would be playing center square, turning to O+M for their analysis while he moderates the hard news during the presidential debates and election night returns. And that's the other sticking point for NBC News staffers: Nobody wants Gregory in that role, according the temperature our sources have taken inside the network. "The Phil [Griffin] management style has infuriated people who aren't even fans of Olbermann," says one spy. Gregory's own 6pm Race To The White House has been a ratings dud, and while Olbermann and Matthews have kept MSNBC's ratings alive, many fear Gregory will tank that progress. Staffers are cheering for the home team, but find it hard when the guy making the calls is Griffin.

Phil was never actually making the calls. I was. I run the network. I own the network. I AM the network. Why can't people just accept that and move on? But at least they hate Gregory as much as I do. Hee hee.

Jossip. Again.

This idiot really hates me. Again with the anonymous sources. Remember the Olbermann commandment #1? Don't believe unnamed sources? Keep that in mind when you read this drivel.

"We've spoke to a number of 30 Rock staffers in Denver, New York, and Washington — some of whom thought it more productive to speak to us than attend to the on-going live DNC coverage — and the common wisdom is: 1) Nobody can believe how much Keith Olbermann is getting away with, even if he does draw ratings; 2) As an Olbermann protege, Rachel Maddow is attracting negative feelings from staffers, since she stays mum on many of these catfights, but "there's still time" to represent; 3) MSNBC head Phil Griffin is alienating staffers by publicly defending Olbermann while privately bashing him, and it's left many wondering when that will leak (oops); 4) MSNBC publicist Jeremy Gaines appears increasing stressed out and can be seen "shaking" with a phone attached to his ear dealing with reporters; 5) You don't want to run into Chris Matthews anytime soon, especially en route to the bathroom, because he has zero pleasant things to say right now; 6) Joe Scarborough is definitely stressed, but he's managed to calm down a bit today and can be seen laughing and gabbing; 7) None of this is helping ratings, with MSNBC scoring the lowest numbers against Fox News and CNN.

I refuse to dignify any of that with a comment. Got it?

Nobody, including all of MSNBC, believes Phil Griffin when he says "MSNBC does not have an ideology. Says one veteran off-camera staffer: "Bullshit … It's a total farce."

How can you believe a guy who can't even use good grammar?

Ditto the little creep from Jossip

How dare he.

It's been Page 6's regular duty to defend its corporate cousin Fox News and, more specifically, Bill O'Reilly, whose regular feuds with Keith Olbermann have provided for endless copy and ratings. And today's item is no different. It's an assault on Olbermann, and carries the same claims we've long been making: That he's trying to run the place.

Okay at least he pointed out that Murdoch, Bill O'Reilly, Fox and Page Six all hate me. But this idea that I'm trying to run MSNBC? Could he just keep that quiet? Please?

The former MSNBCer then goes on to add this:

Olbermann has long been said to be trying to oust his biggest rival, Chris Matthews. Matthews' contract will soon be up, and it's barely an open secret that Olbermann wants him out.

Matthews is a joke. I'm just trying to do the humane thing and put him out of my misery. Yes, you read that right, it is all about me remember?

So who's next, supposedly, on Olbermann's death wish list? Former NBC Nightly News anchor and current special correspondent Tom Brokaw: "Insiders say Olbermann is pushing to have Brokaw banned from the network and is also refusing to have centrist Time magazine columnist Mike Murphy on his show. 'The idea of anyone trying to ban Tom Brokaw is ludicrous,' said one MSNBC-er. Brokaw was on MSNBC for an hour yesterday afternoon."

Yes the former NBC anchor was on for an entire hour out of more than 20 hours of DNC coverage. Okay, so Jossip may be right.

Now, we've heard the requisite insider denials from MSNBC that "all is well" dozens of times before. And the rule we've learned: Ignore the downplaying, because it most often turns out to be true.

This is the real reason I hate P6 and Jossip (among others). Sometimes the gossip is true.

Why does Jossip Vex Me So?

So why does Jossip insist on posting these kind of pieces about me?

On 09/08/08, a one Keith Olbermann will mark his nearly complete takeover of the network. Yes, Olbermann might as well hold Phil Griffin's title as MSNBC chief, since, according to knowledgeable sources and all outside appearances, he's making the calls.

I have nothing against the facts per se in this article. It's technically right on each factoid presented here. Of course it's my network. Of course I've taken over. The ego has landed, hello? Ring a bell? But what do I resent? The idea that this guy seems to have that my take over is some sort of bad thing.

Yesterday afternoon, it was Olbermann who made the official announcement about Maddow. Bizarre? Yes. Especially since he called it a "fully authorized leak" in his DailyKos posting. You'd be right in thinking these announcements usually break by a spokesman, in a newspaper's business section perhaps, and not on a liberal blog that talent writes for.

I'm me. Rules do not apply. And if I, as leader of MSNBC wants to announce something on a blog, then I'll damn well announce it on my blog so my beloved fans can share in my continued victories with me. What's wrong with that?

When he jokes, "She wanted to [call the show] Countdown With Keith Olbermann," he's barely humoring himself. And in his blog post, he all but takes credit for her getting her own hour. Worth noting, too: Olbermann and Maddow share agents. He introduced her to his.

Of course we "share" agents. I believe in keeping my friends close (if I had any left) and my enemies closer. Better to be in my tent peeing out than peeing in, if you know what I mean. And re the humoring myself? It's all about me! Hello! What part of that doesn't this idiot get?

Incidentally, this also means Olbermann is taking credit for ousting Dan Abrams from his 9pm hour. It's no secret Olbermann hates Abrams, and vice versa. When Abrams was general manager of MSNBC, before returning to his primetime show, the two barely spoke, and Olbermann was confident enough in his chair to privately and, in barely blind form in public, bash Abrams.

Hee hee. Yeah, I'm the biggest swinging dick at MSNBC baby. And it's my way or the highway. First Tucker, now little Danny. Let him go hang at the Hamptons and date Hollywood startlets-General Manager of MSNBC my ass. I showed him.

He's been actively lobbying to have his own show repeat from 11pm-midnight, booting Jeff Zucker's "Doc Block" initiative. If it happens, Olbermann will effectively run 4 hours of the network's evening.

See what I mean? He says that like it's a bad thing. More me in primetime. It's what America wants needs. Yes, MSNBC would be perfect if they'd just rename it KONBC and run me 24/7. (Note to self: Lobby for all of the daytime lineup too).

And if you're still not certain Olbermann sees Maddow as more than just an ally, but a means of controlling the network, just look to last night's show, where he had Maddow fess up that he was responsible for her getting a show. And Olbermann half-joked he would stay on the air until 9:02pm to help Maddow's ratings with his own stretched lead-in. Don't be surprised when this actually happens. And also? Don't be surprised when Olbermann begins lobbying for control over the 7pm hour, currently helmed by Chris Matthews, so he can fix up his own ratings lead-in. (He's made no secret that he's not happy with Matthew's performance in that department.)

Okay so once again this Jossip guy fails to show me the proper respect befitting the fabulousness that is me. I don't like that. I like fawning articles which mention me as the 21st Century Murrow. But the little dick got one thing right, I made Maddow recognize who was boss. And I showed my fans who is Santa Claus, bringing them 3-hours of interrupted liberal programming. Again, it's what America needs.

Of course MSNBC is building its brand around its liberal politics, and Olbermann is the face of it. What's unnerving, though, is MSNBC's continued denial of this strategy. Instead, they're applying Fox News' open joke — that despite leaning conservative, they're still fair and balanced — to themselves. And whereas FNC seems to be in on the joke about its obvious bias, MSNBC isn't quite there yet.

Oh trust me, they're there. (I had to drag them kicking and screaming but they're there. Finally).

The only question left to be answered, then, is what to make of Phil Griffin? Is he the lame duck many think he is, or the puppet master behind Olbermann's ascent? A straw poll suggests the former.

He's kidding right? I run the network. It's my network. Phil is just my enabler. Sure he compared me to an abusive boyfriend. But he always comes running back for more. So does America. And why? Because I'm me and that's all you need to know.