Me Difficult?

Again, don't believe anonymous sources who won't use their name for attribution. Unless they are willing to go on the record about me, nothing they say is valid. Got it? It's the First Commandment of Olbermann. (I'm a God people, of course I have rules for you peons to follow! Learn these simple rules and we'll get along just fine, got it?). Okay so this so-called anonymous source had this to say about me:

Some sources who have worked with Olbermann at MSNBC describe him as a difficult colleague, and one source said that there are tensions with Matthews.

Notice these bastards reference the NY Post in this so-called news article. Commandment #2? If it comes from a Murdoch rag or quotes a Murdoch rag it doesn't count either.

Look, when Keith anchors, he plays it straight down the line,” Griffin said. “This is our team. They’ve served us well. We love ’em, and we’re going to be at the Republican convention, and it’s going to be great. And I don’t have any hesitation.”

Yep another quote from my bitch Phil. And having no hesitation? That's what I love about this guy. If I jumped off the Empire State Building he'd be right behind me, cheerleading me all the way. What a guy.

My Plan is Working

I love it. Look-the Wall Street Journal has written about my favorite subject: me! Sure it's about the on-air squabbling all of the MSNBC anchors have done this week with one another but who cares-it's free press. For ME! And yep--there's my bitch Phil Griffin apologizing for me once again. I have to say this is better than most of Phil's statements. And you know why? I wrote it for him. Seriously, the man is not that bright. It's why I'm able to run completely over him.

The network's chief played down the acrimony. "Look, I want honest, authentic people on our air. I don't want phonies. So if the price of that is every once in a while one of these bubbles up, I'm not concerned," said MSNBC President Phil Griffin. "Like any good manager, I give and I take and I massage and I deal with it," he added, "but the fact of the matter is this is what we want: a diverse, fun, rough-and-tumble look at politics."

I could have done without the WSJ referring to him as the network's "chief". That's me people, not my bitch Phil.

The changes have made a star of the liberal firebrand Mr. Olbermann and left several news people feeling marginalized, including Messrs. Scarborough and Matthews and former General Manager Dan Abrams, people familiar with the situation said. An MSNBC representative declined to make the on-air personalities available for comment.

The WSJ, a Rupert Murdoch owned rag called me a star! Suck that Bill-O! And re the rest of the MSNBCers feeling "marginalized"? HA! That's part of my plan idiots! And here's Variety writing about me too!

"Look, it happens," Griffin said. "Everyone is working hard here, and people are passionate about their feelings, and this is the rough-and-tumble world of politics." He said he'd prefer if staff didn't have fights on air, "but it wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last. The main thing is, this does not define us. Don't make more of this than it is." Griffin emphasized a distinction between talent having a point of view -- which he seeks for certain programs -- and the network having a point of view. "We as a network do not have a point of view," he said.

Say what Phil? See what happens when I let him off his leash? Of course we have a point of view: MINE! Bad Phil. Very bad. I'll use the NY Post later to beat you with. The best line in this article? This one:

Ultimately, Scarborough may have to leave the channel

Part of the plan people. Part of the plan. Hell this is working so well I got internationalpress! Kudos to The Nation for calling us the Real World Denver.

What happens when overpaid media personalities stop being polite--and start getting real....

Overpaid? Well I do take exception to THAT. And finally, McClatchy news service had yet another prescient (you know I love to throw around big words) this about the fate of one Joe Scarborough:

Anybody want to lay odds on who'll go after Scarborough next? As MSNBC increasingly brands itself as the lefty alternative in cable news, Scarborough looks out of place. Unless you think of him as a pinata.

I loveit!

Ditto the little creep from Jossip

How dare he.

It's been Page 6's regular duty to defend its corporate cousin Fox News and, more specifically, Bill O'Reilly, whose regular feuds with Keith Olbermann have provided for endless copy and ratings. And today's item is no different. It's an assault on Olbermann, and carries the same claims we've long been making: That he's trying to run the place.

Okay at least he pointed out that Murdoch, Bill O'Reilly, Fox and Page Six all hate me. But this idea that I'm trying to run MSNBC? Could he just keep that quiet? Please?

The former MSNBCer then goes on to add this:

Olbermann has long been said to be trying to oust his biggest rival, Chris Matthews. Matthews' contract will soon be up, and it's barely an open secret that Olbermann wants him out.

Matthews is a joke. I'm just trying to do the humane thing and put him out of my misery. Yes, you read that right, it is all about me remember?

So who's next, supposedly, on Olbermann's death wish list? Former NBC Nightly News anchor and current special correspondent Tom Brokaw: "Insiders say Olbermann is pushing to have Brokaw banned from the network and is also refusing to have centrist Time magazine columnist Mike Murphy on his show. 'The idea of anyone trying to ban Tom Brokaw is ludicrous,' said one MSNBC-er. Brokaw was on MSNBC for an hour yesterday afternoon."

Yes the former NBC anchor was on for an entire hour out of more than 20 hours of DNC coverage. Okay, so Jossip may be right.

Now, we've heard the requisite insider denials from MSNBC that "all is well" dozens of times before. And the rule we've learned: Ignore the downplaying, because it most often turns out to be true.

This is the real reason I hate P6 and Jossip (among others). Sometimes the gossip is true.

God I hate the NY Post

They've struck again. Damn Murdoch and his minions. This time they claim I want Brokaw out of NBC-MSNBC.

Insiders say Olbermann is pushing to have Brokaw banned from the network and is also refusing to have centrist Time magazine columnist Mike Murphy on his show. "The idea of anyone trying to ban Tom Brokaw is ludicrous," said one MSNBC-er. Brokaw was on MSNBC for an hour yesterday afternoon. Murphy, who was bumped from Olbermann's show on Monday night, told us, "They told me technical problems and I have no reason not to believe them."

Actually that part is true. I do want Brokaw out. He backstabbed me and said I didn't represent the views of the NBC network. Who the hell does the old man think he's kidding? I AM MSNBC. Who's he? A retired news anchor who needs to keep his tired old cranky ass retired if you know what I mean. And Murphy? Don't like him. 'Nuff Said.

Watch Chris Matthews snap.

My plan is working. A few more outbursts like this and Matthews will be history too.

The wheels on my bus are just fine

This chick is annoying me. So what if I hate Matthews (and he hates me) and Scarborough hates Schuster and David Gregory hates all of us? So what? Who cares just so long as it makes for great tv?

Well done David. Well done.

And now my minions go in for the kill.

Next on my list?

Scarborough is next on my list.
Shovel? Hell he was using a backhoe. Yeah sure I'm supposed to be objective and all that bullshit but I am sorry. I cannot have him spinning party talking points on my watch.

Denver

And I'm not talking about John Denver here either. Why couldn't I have just covered this from NYC? It's not like anything is actually going to happen there. We know it's Obama-Biden. Big deal. Why don't they throw parties in MY honor instead? I'm responsible after all for bringing Democracy back to America and making MSNBC #1. Hate Denver the city and the singer. No, never actually been to Denver but how great could it possibly be? NYC and LA are the only two cities that count because those are the only cities on this earth big enough to contain Me.

Me as VP?

I like the sound of that. Sure this guy is a Republican apologist but look, he recognizes me as a potential Veep candidate. What's not to love about that?