The NY Post Continues to Hate on Keith Olbermann's Ego

Of course Murdoch's rag would not have a single good thing to say about Keith Olbermann's Ego. Cancel the Ego? The EGO made MSNBC what it is today. Without Keith Olbermann's Ego what would MSNBC be? I can tell you: dead air.

Keith Olbermann Asks You Do Not Read the NY Times Today

Keith Olbermann's Ego orders asks you to not read the NY Times today. They are printing more truth lies about The Ego again. But since I named Brian Stelter WPIW along with the Times this past Monday night, my fans already know to completely ignore everything that is said in this article because I've already thoroughly discredited any and everything they will ever say about me, past, present, or future. Like this garbage:

Mr. Olbermann told viewers on June 1 that he would halt his jokes about Fox News because he believed that Fox had played a part in inciting the death of the abortion doctor George Tiller. Inside Fox, executives chuckled. They knew that a pact had already been struck by Mr. Olbermann’s bosses to end the feud.

I see that Brian and the Times are bucking for another WPITW title.

After the detente was reported by The Times on Monday, the fighting resumed and Mr. Olbermann claimed there was no deal among the parent companies. That was met by heated skepticism among bloggers.

As The Ego has already explained to you, repeatedly, these bloggers are all right-wing idiots hired by the GOP and Fox to discredit Keith Olbermann's Ego. Once again, The Ego orders requests that you no longer purchase the NY Times as they are clearly another GOP/Murdoch friendly publication intent on attacking the sterling character and reputation of Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Feud? What Feud? There is no Feud.

Keith Olbermann's Ego doesn't care what the NY Times says.

At an off-the-record summit meeting for chief executives sponsored by Microsoft in mid-May, the PBS interviewer Charlie Rose asked Jeffrey Immelt, chairman of G.E., and his counterpart at the News Corporation, Rupert Murdoch, about the feud. Both moguls expressed regret over the venomous culture between the networks and the increasingly personal nature of the barbs. Days later, even though the feud had increased the audience of both programs, their lieutenants arranged a cease-fire, according to four people who work at the companies and have direct knowledge of the deal.

Look, Keith Olbermann's Ego could care less about any deal that Immelt and Murdoch made (thanks alot Charlie Rose for being so "helpful"). The Ego totally agreed to the deal because who are we kidding? They pay Keith Olbermann's Ego $7.5 mil a year, and just gave Katy (another) new job would never, ever make such a deal atsoever about whatever little deal that Immelt and Murdoch made.

Mr. Olbermann, who is on vacation, said by e-mail message, “I am party to no deal,” adding that he would not have been included in any conversations between G.E. and the News Corporation. Fox News said it would not comment.

What? You want me to translate what The Ego meant by not being party to a deal and would not be a party to such a deal? The Ego wasn't there people. That's what it means. He was not physically present in the room with Immelt, Murdoch and Charlie Rose when they cut the deal.

In early June, the combat stopped, and MSNBC and Fox, for the most part, found other targets for their verbal missiles (Hello, CNN).

Keith Olbermann's Ego would just like to remind everyone that the embedded video above? You know the one from "Early June" (June 1st)? Where Keith Olbermann's Ego issued a mandate to "quarantine" Fox News and Bill O'Reilly? There is absolutely no connection whatsoever between The Ego's ultimatum and the agreement between the two networks to ceasefire (even if there is video evidence suggesting otherwise).If the Ego says it never happened, it never happened. No matter what Salon says either.

UPDATE: And this guy at Inside Cable News who says that Keith Olbermann's Ego used the murder of Dr. Tiller to save this and stop talking about Fox and Bill O'Reilly? He's 100% correct wrong.

Keith Olbermann's Ego cannot be silenced

And if the Ego wants to trash Rupert Murdoch and all things Fox, then it will be so. No matter what the suits at NBC-Universal tell him. And if the Ego does happen to stop talking about Murdoch, Fox, and BOR? It's just a coincidence, got it?

Keith Olbermann is No One's Fool

I don't care what this idiot has to say. Nor is Keith Olbermann's Ego ever wrong. Never. Except when forced to issue retractions. But it wasn't my fault. It was the transcription service's fault. See, it wasn't The Ego. It's never the ego's fault--ever, got it?

Page Six and Me.

Keith Olbermann's massive ego would like to remind you that tomorrow Page Six will print an untrue story about me. How do I know it will be untrue? Because it's in Page Six, duh. On the plus side, they feel I'm important enough to write about and you know how much the Ego enjoys being noticed. Again, it will all be untrue. Even the parts that are true, got it?

Damn right I want a security force around me

I'm heading into enemy territory. And I'm not just talking about the NBC/MSNBC employees lounge. (Those idiots hate me. I hate them though so I guess we're kinda even). Where was I? Oh yeah, security. I need security. Lotsof security. O'Reilly has his own security force why can't I have my own security team? Do you think I actually want to go to the RNC convention? I'll be about as welcome there as a Hummer at a Greenpeace rally.

You know why I love Daily Kos?

Because they'll believe anything I tell them without even thinking about it. God I love the comments there. Look at the love and adoration they heap upon me. And not one of them even thinks to ask this question: why do I deny the Brokaw story but don't deny the stories about my having Abrams, Tucker Carlson, and Scarborough (he's next) booted. You know why I don't mention it? Yeah, you know. And I know. But the Kossacks? They just don't. So let's just keep that little secret between you and me okay?

Oh and one more thing? Sometimes when I deny something it's in direct proportion to how true it actually happens to be. And if Brokaw were smart he'd watch his back. See that big ole' pat I just gave him? Look close and you'll see a knife carefully hidden in my hand. Death by a thousand cuts and all that.

Citizen Journalists? Not on my watch.

So Page Six is at it again. Those guys hate me. The feeling is mutual. But at least they recognize that I'm a big, big, big star and worthy of being written about. And because I'm a big, big, big star they hate me and print lies about me (except when it's true which I'll never admit).

Let me break down today's little item for you.

KEITH Olbermann is again being an embarrassment to MSNBC.

Embarrassment? I'm their star. It's my network. They wouldn't be a network without me. I'm the only reason that so-called perpetually third-place network gets any attention at all. The Post is just jealous of me.

The cable channel and MySpace have teamed up to choose two "citizen journalist" correspondents to cover the upcoming national political conventions. The "journalists" will be featured both on MySpace and MSNBC's campaign coverage. A spy said, "Every anchor is onboard and willing to play along, except Keith. He refuses to participate because MySpace is owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp." - which also owns Fox News and The Post.

Don't they understand that the Post and Rupert and Fox News are my mortal enemies? Okay so my feuding with them has become a central part of every night's broadcast but it's important people. It's far more important than any news item I could possibly ever substitute in its place because America cares about me and they want to know who my enemies are, and what matters to me, Keith Olbermann. It's important because it does matter to me, Keith Olbermann. So why on earth did the suits at NBC Universal think I'd play along with anything concerning Rupert Murdoch? America just doesn't understand what I have to go through when dealing with the suits. I'm smarter than they are: I'm smarter than everyone and everybody. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb idea! But I showed 'em. Read on.

A rep for Olbermann said, "There are no plans for the contest winners to be on any programs other than 'Morning Joe.'

That's the official story. Let me tell you the real story. So the suits had this really stupid idea. What made them think I'd publicize anything to do with Rupert Murdoch? See what I mean? They're stupid! But not me. I'm brilliant. But you already knew that right? I know you do because I like to point it out every single chance I get. I'm smart, you're not, and that's just the way it is. Love me, envy me, recognize, that's all I'm asking here people. Work with me on this, there is no truth but the one I tell got it?

Anyway, so let me translate and tell you what the publicist wasn't saying. Yeah, sure, there were plans originally for these citizen freaks to be on every single MSNBC program but since I refused to play with anything remotely having to do with Rupert Murdoch I forced the network to significantly scale back their plans so now these citizen whatevers will only be on Morning Joe and no one watches that train wreck anyway. That way I get my revenge on Murdoch, I make the suits at 30 Rock recognize yet again that it's all about me and what I want and if I don't want citizen journalists then they'll be exiled to Siberia (that's what we call MJ here at MSNBC). I'm happy and now they're not so someone went whining to the Post but who cares? It's about me and what I want. My name gets printed in Page Six yet again and as long as people are writing about me, I'm very happy. So what if it's not flattering? Big f'ing deal. Page Six recognizes me. I'm on their pages along with billionaires, movie stars, Madonna, and A-Rod (he's my buddy btw).

See what kind of idiots I'm forced to work with? I am the network. I am MSNBC. I'm the only damn journalist this two-bit network has got and that's why I run the network. It's my network, not theirs and they were stupid enough to try and make a decision without considering my wants and needs. Will they ever learn? Sure they will but as you can see, I have to remind them of that on a near daily basis. Idiots.

Anyway, so there you have it. The real story. Yeah sure Page Six was factually correct but factually correct doesn't matter in my world and my world is the only world that there is. Screw Murdoch, the Post, Page Six, MySpace, Citizen Journalists, and whatever else stupid idea that the promo department comes up with. If I don't want to play then the game is over. This kind of thing is fun for me, I get more publicity, I had the satisfaction of forcing the suits to fold and the publicists at MSNBC scramble yet again to cover for my how shall we say, intransigence? It doesn't get any better for me that that. I get to show them yet again who really runs that network. And we all know it's my network right? I'm the only anchor MSNBC needs and will ever need. Me. Me. Me. Me. And that's the way it should be because in the end, all that matters is me and what I want. Nothing else. Just me me me me. And never forget, it's all about me.

Another Ego Speaks

I thought it would be instructive for my fans to understand how my ego thinks, which is why I began this blog, and let's face it, my ego is too large to be contained on just one blog. Sure Kos is great but it doesn't let me be me. I have to remain serious, ernest, and all that crap when I'm there. Here I can have a bit of fun and educate my fans a bit more. I thought it would be instructive for my fans to observe how an ego-leading personality works. And there is no better example than that poor Bastard John Edwards who lacked the finese that I, Keith Olbermann, have in making people see things my way, which of course, as we all know, is the only way it should be. Because it's all about me.


STATEMENT OF SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS
August 8, 2008
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

In 2006, I made a serious error in judgment and conducted myself in a way that was disloyal to my family and to my core beliefs.

Translation: "I got caught. And i'm trying to spin this so it looks like I give a damn about my family. And that whole serious error in judgment? You bet your ass it was a serious error in judgement. The chick talked too much and didn't use birth control."

I recognized my mistake and I told my wife that I had a liaison with another woman, and I asked for her forgiveness.

Translation: "She found out and I had to fess up." But my ego has to give John props here for his use of the word "liaison". That's French. Classy. So much classier than saying "affair".

Although I was honest in every painful detail with my family, I did not tell the public.

Translation? "Tell the pubic? Are you out of your f'ing mind? I'm not stupid. And painful? Yes it was very painful to me that I got caught."

When a supermarket tabloid told a version of the story, I used the fact that the story contained many falsities to deny it. But being 99% honest is no longer enough.

Translation: Right out of the Keith Olbermann Ego Playbook (that'll be my next book by the way). First take a jab at the tabloid press-works like a charm for me every time that damn Murdoch prints something about me in the Post that I don't like. And recasting himself as being the new poster-child of honesty? Brilliant.

I was and am ashamed of my conduct and choices, and I had hoped that it would never become public.

Translation? "You can bet your ass I hopeed it would never become public." "My choices? Oh yeah I regret my choices. I realize now I could have done better because this chick is old. And not nearly as pretty as I am. But she recognized how attractive I am and that's all that really matters.

With my family, I took responsibility for my actions in 2006 and today I take full responsibility publicly.

Translation: I got caught. The National Enquirer has a gun to my head and now I have to take full responsibility because it's what America expects me to do. If there was a Betty Ford for screwing around, I could go there and all would be well becaue that's what you do when you get caught in America: apologize and go to rehab and everybody forgives you

But that misconduct took place for a short period in 2006. It ended then. I am and have been willing to take any test necessary to establish the fact that I am not the father of any baby, and I am truly hopeful that a test will be done so this fact can be definitively established. I only know that the apparent father has said publicly that he is the father of the baby. I also have not been engaged in any activity of any description that requested, agreed to or supported payments of any kind to the woman or to the apparent father of the baby.

Translation: Yeah the kid's probably mine. But if I come forward and offer to take the test and she refuses then it looks like I'm telling the truth and she's lying. And by having someone else funnel money to her and the fall-guy self-proclaimed baby daddy I again look like a paragon of virtue. And by being non-specific about what kind of activity "ended" in 2006? Again, genius.

It is inadequate to say to the people who believed in me that I am sorry, as it is inadequate to say to the people who love me that I am sorry. In the course of several campaigns, I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic.

Translation? You got me. Because John completely fumbled the ball here. He failed to embrance being narcissistic and self-centered and you know that I, Keith Olbermann's Ego, feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with self-love.

If you want to beat me up – feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help.

Translation: "Oh I was stripped bare alright. So was she. And damn it was fun. Until I got caught. And it's actually Lizzie that's been doing the beating me thing. And work? Damn straight I have to work to make those back alley support payments."

I have given a complete interview on this matter and having done so, will have nothing more to say.

Translation? "Because I'm arrogant enough to think that this is all I have to say."

See how easy it is? As the great J.R. Ewing once observed, "Once you can fake sincerity, everything else is a piece of cake."