The New York Times, Danny Deutsch, Colonoscopies and Other Pains in the Ass

So Brian Stelter of the New York Times, Danny Deutsch, and Colonoscopies are the causes of today's pain in the ass for the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. So Deutsch is whining like a bitch about how somehow the Ego was responsible for getting his lousy show yanked. Why does he think that just because he criticized the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego that I would do such a thing? I mean, just because I run own MSNBC doesn't mean I have any power over programming decisions. I mean sure the Ego owns MSNBC but it's my bitch Phil Grifin that takes the blame for the Ego in such matters, as it should be. And Stelter, don't even get me started. Here's what the Ego-Twit had to say about Stelter and this Ego heartedly agrees.

Sad to say, @BrianStelter was an innovative and hardworking blogger. He's in over his head where he is now,

And then there's Gawker and Joe Scarborough. They just can't wait to complain about the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. Scarborough's just a Republican punk. He can't even bring himself to say the Ego's name (and if he does, trust me, my buddy Phil will be taking care of him just like he did Deutsch. And Dan Abrams. And Rita Cosby and.....a bunch of other people whose names escape the Ego's mind at the moment). Now back to the subject the Ego loves to talk about most of all: The Ego. And the Ego-Twit's real pain-in-the-ass for today, and just as some predicted here once the Ego-Twit got a Twitter account, it was bound to happen, discussion of the Ego-Twit's bowel movements. Don't say this blog didn't warn you it was coming. At least this Ego has some discretion where such matters are concerned. That's more that can be said for the real thing.

Keith Olbermann Asks You Do Not Read the NY Times Today

Keith Olbermann's Ego orders asks you to not read the NY Times today. They are printing more truth lies about The Ego again. But since I named Brian Stelter WPIW along with the Times this past Monday night, my fans already know to completely ignore everything that is said in this article because I've already thoroughly discredited any and everything they will ever say about me, past, present, or future. Like this garbage:

Mr. Olbermann told viewers on June 1 that he would halt his jokes about Fox News because he believed that Fox had played a part in inciting the death of the abortion doctor George Tiller. Inside Fox, executives chuckled. They knew that a pact had already been struck by Mr. Olbermann’s bosses to end the feud.

I see that Brian and the Times are bucking for another WPITW title.

After the detente was reported by The Times on Monday, the fighting resumed and Mr. Olbermann claimed there was no deal among the parent companies. That was met by heated skepticism among bloggers.

As The Ego has already explained to you, repeatedly, these bloggers are all right-wing idiots hired by the GOP and Fox to discredit Keith Olbermann's Ego. Once again, The Ego orders requests that you no longer purchase the NY Times as they are clearly another GOP/Murdoch friendly publication intent on attacking the sterling character and reputation of Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Why won't people just take what Keith Olbermann says

as the undisputed truth and STOP WRITING THE TRUTH LIES ABOUT HIM??? This crap is getting old fast people. First of all, this guy Greenwald at Salon will not give it up. But The Ego would like to thank his fans for rushing to his defense and defending his honor and insisting that everything that falls from Keith Olbermann's Lips is the Undisputed Truth. Here, let me sample for you:

So. . . the fact that Olbermann attacked O'Reilly is proof that he complied with an order NOT to attack O'Reilly? And the proof that there was a deal comes from an anonymous source used by a lawyer-playing-journaliist who has always lambasted actual journalists for using anonymous sources. Delicious.

This led a very frustrated Greenwald to snap:

Why can't people read? The proof comes from Brian Stelter's four independent sources; my independent source with first-hand knowledge of what happened; the fact that Olbermann stopped talking about O'Reilly exactly when GE executives told him to stop; and the fact that Olbermann said nothing that I wrote was inaccurate. Do you need me to repeat that?

Look Glenn, I hate to break it to you, but the people get The Ego. And they get that whatever The Ego tells them is the truth IS THE TRUTH, no pesky things like facts required. Do you need me to repeat that???? I digress. The comments to what Greenwald wrote amuse the Ego and warm his heart. I'm particularly fond of someone calling themselves "Pragma" who demanded that Greenwald reveal an off-the-record source.

I'm not going to make up my mind one way or the other without better data than some unknown third party's word.

Well done Pragma, well done! This so enraged Greenwald that he had to respond with this:

Given that Keith Olbermann himself just said that nothing I said was inaccurate, what difference does it make how you assess the credibility of the source I have? Olbermann himself is stating explicitly that what I wrote was accurate. What else do you need to know?All the love and affectino that you harbor for Keith Olbermann is never going to make this sentence disappear: "I honor Mr. Greenwald's insight into the coverage of GE/NewsCorp talks, and have found nothing materially factually inaccurate about it." Try closing your eyes and clicking your ruby slippers three times -- it will still be there.

I love it when the Fans needle idiots like Greenwald. Saves me the trouble from having to do it myself. Poor Greenwald. The fans were so great about needling him he finally just posted this diatribe:

Olbermann's statement is what I wanted in order to feel fine about not disclosing that evidence, because it states as clearly as can be -- from the horse's mouth -- that what I wrote was accurate. That people can't see the significance of that means they don't want to (I LOVE KEITH!!!!), and for those people, even releasing the emails would do no good.

Yep, love my fans. They understand that they can't believe their own lying eyes where I'm concerned. They need to believe only that The Ego is a perfect being and that the truth is what the Ego tells them it is. I'll admit it, The Ego began to feel so sorry for poor Greenwald that he did indeed give him a statement. Here's how Greenwald described it:

As for the piece I wrote on Saturday, my basis was, quite obviously, Stelter's NYT article. But my basis for the added facts about the GE/Fox deal which I wrote in yesterday's piece were statements made in not-for-attribution emails from a person who has first-hand knowledge of GE's newsroom edict. Today, after I told Olbermann that his on-air denial last night had made it appear that what I wrote was untrue, when we both knew it was entirely accurate, Olbermann issued the following on-the-record statement to me about this matter (emphasis added):

Look, The Ego had to help the guy out (and get him off my butt)so I threw him a little quote.

I honor Mr. Greenwald's insight into the coverage of GE/NewsCorp talks, and have found nothing materially factually inaccurate about it. Fox and NewsCorp have continued a strategy of threat and blackmail by Rupert Murdoch, Roger Ailes, and Bill O'Reilly since at least 2004. But no matter what might have been reported by others besides Mr. Greenwald, and no matter what might have been thought around this industry, there's no "deal." I would never consent, and, fortunately, MSNBC and NBC News would never ask me to.

That's the Ego's story and The Ego is sticking to it (no matter what the facts say). Don't you love the quote? "Nothing materially inaccurate" about what Greenwald has reported, while still denying it? Yes my friends, it is Egospeak in action. Hee hee. But as Greenwald learned, even when the Ego admits that something was actually factually true (more Egospeak), it still doesn't mean the Fans will believe it. God the Ego loves being The Ego.

Oh and one more thing? Add the previously Keith Olbermann's Ego-friendly FireDogLake to the list of enemies.

Olbermann has now made two contradictory statements about his role in the affair: He confirms what Glenn Greenwald wrote, which is that he stopped covering O'Reilly because he was told to by his bosses at GE He says that his decision to stop covering O'Reilly was purely a response to O'Reilly's role in the Tiller incident, and that any assertion to the contrary is a blackmail attempt by Roger Ailes It is clear that there was a deal between GE and News Corp, because both are confirming it. So Olbermann is, at best, guilty of obfuscation by claiming that he was not "party" to any deal.

Details, details. Once you've learned how to fake sincerity, the rest is a piece of cake.

There will be a cloud over Olbermann's credibility until he clarifies what really happened.

Nope. Looking like Sunny Skies for Olbermann's Ego actually. And looking at the comments at that little blog it seems that the rain is falling on FireDogLake, not Keith Olbermann's Ego. The fans get that they only have to believe the ego, not their own lying eyes. And that's exactly how The Ego likes loves it.

The Truth According to Keith Olbermann's Ego

This is just too easy sometimes. Why it's almost like taking Candy from babies. Keith Olbermann's Ego loves his fans. You wanna know why? They aren't that great with critical thinking skills. For example, they don't notice patterns at all. Patterns you say? What are these patterns that The Ego speaks of? Watch and learn my friends, watch and learn.

Step 1: Someone prints or posts a negative story about Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Step 2: The Ego immediately takes to either the airwaves or Daily Kos (or both) to brand the person who wrote it as someone who has it out for him (Example: Lloyd Grove (NY Post, The Daily Beast), Brian Stelter (The NY Times), Dan Abram's Mediaite.

Step 3: For good measure, attack the venue where the attack appeared (Examples: The New York Times, The Post, the Daily News (and going back to the old days, the LA Times), Gawker, Cityfile, Wonkette, etc., etc.,

Step 4: Go to Kos, post a diary offering a very special, special comment or some sort of "must-see TV" to pump the ratings. Even if the special comment isn't necessarily related to the attack from these vicious people who all hate the Ego, look, the fans will still tune in and pump up the Ego's ratings. The Ego loves ratings you know. And Daily Kos.

Step 5: Go on Countdown and deliver WPITW awards, offer up a very special, special comment. Drives the attacker wild (and the fans believe every word, it's a win-win for The Ego).

Step 6: Sit back and laugh. Really, it's too easy. Look at yesterday: it was a beautiful thing to see. Did you notice how Keith Olbermann's Ego piled upon young Brian and the NY Times? Brian has been one of The Ego's biggest supporters since he was still in college and ran the then-CableNewser. And the NY Times? The NY Times loves my ass. Oh right, revionist thinking: they hate the Ego! Yes, that's right, the Times is now an enemy of Keith Olbermann. So what if four sources either with MSNBC or Fox told the NY Times that the deal happened? It did not happen! I mean really, who are you going to believe? The Ego or the NY Times and the statements from corporate stooges? Right! The Ego is always, always right. And so what that The Ego didn't bother mentioning O'Reilly from June 1st to August 3rd, whatever would give anyone the idea there was a deal? You got it! Because The Ego told them so! See what I mean? Easy as pie.

Step 7: This is Keith Olbermann's Ego's favorite step. You see, my fans are so IQ challenged loyal and faithful any future stories an organization writes about The Ego will also be immediately discredited as being false since the writer or website/paper, etc. has already been discredited by the Ego for printing the truth lies about him in the past! And when you throw in a dead person, or two, why the fans have no choice whatsoever to doubt that The Ego is telling anything but 100% of the truth. I mean come on. The deal non-existing deal between MSNBC and Fox News was made at the end of May. It was just a coincidence that The Ego never mentioned Bill-O's name once between June 1st and August 3rd. Nope, no deal whatsoever. Never happened (because that's what The Ego said happened (or didn't happen), it didn't happen (even if it did).

What? You don't think The Ego would ever do such a thing? Trust me, it happens.

And The Ego wants you to know he applies these steps at work too. Why just yesterday The Ego had MSNBC prez (and longtime KO bitch friend) Phil Griffin speak to the Countdown staff and explain to them, in detail why there was no deal and it was all about "tone". Truthfully? The Countdown staff aren't the brighest people in the world either. I mean they were right there over the past two months and presumably noticed what we were covering and not covering. But they still needed Phil to come down and explain what didn't happen because you know, they're dumb. And you know why they are dumb? Because The Ego told you they were!

See how easy it is? And you know why it's easy for Keith Olbermann's Ego? Because Keith Olbermann's Ego is a freaking genius that's why people! The Ego tells people what the Truth is (according to Keith Olbermann) and it's true! Or isn't true, whatever the case might be and whatever approach is most flattering for The Ego. And people believe it. What could be better than that? I'm a GOD people. A God! And don't you ever forget it!

Now please excuse the Ego, it's time for some pie.

And at the suggestion of Marcia X 3: please enjoy the musical stylings of Steely Dan and their version of Pretzel Logic (which naturally is not as good as Keith Olbermann's Ego's version).