Keith Olbermann's Ego has feelings too: Why Keith Olbermann's Ego has Abandoned Daily Kos

Which is why Keith Olbermann's Ego has denounced Daily Kos and left it in protest after a mean commenter made him cry made him angry. Of course Gawker is having a field day with this. Now the Ego demands that all Keith Olbermann fans immediately leave Daily Kos in protest (btw, the Ego loves the mash notes supporters are leaving on DK begging him to return).

Update 6/22/10: Of course, the Ego reserves the right to change his mind.

The Truth According to Keith Olbermann's Ego

This is just too easy sometimes. Why it's almost like taking Candy from babies. Keith Olbermann's Ego loves his fans. You wanna know why? They aren't that great with critical thinking skills. For example, they don't notice patterns at all. Patterns you say? What are these patterns that The Ego speaks of? Watch and learn my friends, watch and learn.

Step 1: Someone prints or posts a negative story about Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Step 2: The Ego immediately takes to either the airwaves or Daily Kos (or both) to brand the person who wrote it as someone who has it out for him (Example: Lloyd Grove (NY Post, The Daily Beast), Brian Stelter (The NY Times), Dan Abram's Mediaite.

Step 3: For good measure, attack the venue where the attack appeared (Examples: The New York Times, The Post, the Daily News (and going back to the old days, the LA Times), Gawker, Cityfile, Wonkette, etc., etc.,

Step 4: Go to Kos, post a diary offering a very special, special comment or some sort of "must-see TV" to pump the ratings. Even if the special comment isn't necessarily related to the attack from these vicious people who all hate the Ego, look, the fans will still tune in and pump up the Ego's ratings. The Ego loves ratings you know. And Daily Kos.

Step 5: Go on Countdown and deliver WPITW awards, offer up a very special, special comment. Drives the attacker wild (and the fans believe every word, it's a win-win for The Ego).

Step 6: Sit back and laugh. Really, it's too easy. Look at yesterday: it was a beautiful thing to see. Did you notice how Keith Olbermann's Ego piled upon young Brian and the NY Times? Brian has been one of The Ego's biggest supporters since he was still in college and ran the then-CableNewser. And the NY Times? The NY Times loves my ass. Oh right, revionist thinking: they hate the Ego! Yes, that's right, the Times is now an enemy of Keith Olbermann. So what if four sources either with MSNBC or Fox told the NY Times that the deal happened? It did not happen! I mean really, who are you going to believe? The Ego or the NY Times and the statements from corporate stooges? Right! The Ego is always, always right. And so what that The Ego didn't bother mentioning O'Reilly from June 1st to August 3rd, whatever would give anyone the idea there was a deal? You got it! Because The Ego told them so! See what I mean? Easy as pie.

Step 7: This is Keith Olbermann's Ego's favorite step. You see, my fans are so IQ challenged loyal and faithful any future stories an organization writes about The Ego will also be immediately discredited as being false since the writer or website/paper, etc. has already been discredited by the Ego for printing the truth lies about him in the past! And when you throw in a dead person, or two, why the fans have no choice whatsoever to doubt that The Ego is telling anything but 100% of the truth. I mean come on. The deal non-existing deal between MSNBC and Fox News was made at the end of May. It was just a coincidence that The Ego never mentioned Bill-O's name once between June 1st and August 3rd. Nope, no deal whatsoever. Never happened (because that's what The Ego said happened (or didn't happen), it didn't happen (even if it did).

What? You don't think The Ego would ever do such a thing? Trust me, it happens.

And The Ego wants you to know he applies these steps at work too. Why just yesterday The Ego had MSNBC prez (and longtime KO bitch friend) Phil Griffin speak to the Countdown staff and explain to them, in detail why there was no deal and it was all about "tone". Truthfully? The Countdown staff aren't the brighest people in the world either. I mean they were right there over the past two months and presumably noticed what we were covering and not covering. But they still needed Phil to come down and explain what didn't happen because you know, they're dumb. And you know why they are dumb? Because The Ego told you they were!

See how easy it is? And you know why it's easy for Keith Olbermann's Ego? Because Keith Olbermann's Ego is a freaking genius that's why people! The Ego tells people what the Truth is (according to Keith Olbermann) and it's true! Or isn't true, whatever the case might be and whatever approach is most flattering for The Ego. And people believe it. What could be better than that? I'm a GOD people. A God! And don't you ever forget it!

Now please excuse the Ego, it's time for some pie.

And at the suggestion of Marcia X 3: please enjoy the musical stylings of Steely Dan and their version of Pretzel Logic (which naturally is not as good as Keith Olbermann's Ego's version).

Olbermann's Ego's Ego Speaks!

Via Daily Kos of course (Where else).

Alls I Can Say ...(and if this doesn't sound like the ultimate self-promotion, I don't know what would, but them's the breaks)... Watch tonight. You'll be pleasantly surprised, I hope. As then-candidate Obama (not to make any undue self-comparisons) once added, with a laugh, after answering a complicated and doubting question from the New York Times editorial board: consider the possibility that I might know what I'm doing here. Plus there's a Special Comment on health care. About fourteen minutes worth.

Notice the show plug. Gotta get them ratings up ya' know.

Now this is more like it!

As we all know, Keith Olbermann's Ego loves the love. Specifically, when people love Keith Olbermann. And this diarist at Kos gets it. God bless 'em. The rest of you? Get busy. I want to see lots more fawning. And fast. And fawning. Did I mention the fawning?

Right wingers are mounting attacks on Keith Olbermann at Daily Kos

It's true. Because Keith Olbermann sez so right here. The right-wing are disguising themselves as liberals to post on Daily Kos and criticze the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

There's nothing better for the lunatic fringe when a Mark Sanford hits an iceberg, than to throw up some phony Liberal-on-Liberal-Violence sabotage chaff in front of the torpedos headed towards a Republican-In-Crisis.

How dare the try to make Mark Sanford's affair Keith Olbermann's fault! And on Daily Kos of all places? Don't they know that Daily Kos is the approved conduit for all fan worship of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann?

I preface this by saying, got a complaint about me, go ahead. Diarize, comment, whatever (actually those first two are your only choices - there is no 'whatever').

See? Keith Olbermann lays it all out for you right there. Comment or write a diary about him but just don't ignore him. The Ego you know, needs a lot of love.

Again, no request for amnesty, agreement, criticism-free zones, or universal love is implied here.

That's right. Keith Olbermann's Ego isn't requesting. He's issuing an edict. And Keith Olbermann's Ego must always, always be obeyed, especially at Daily Kos.

Et tu Daily Kos?

Keith Olbermann's Ego is just going to ignore this.

I can predict almost exactly what I will hear Keith yelling and grumbling about until ... the MSNBC stage is mercifully ceded to the incomparable Rachel Maddow....Item #5 will always be on the biggest news item of the day: makes sense, no arguments there. But it goes downhill from there. Item #4 will be about the latest baseless talking-point turd laid by Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney's irrelevant daughter, or some other cranky obsolete conservative on Fox or one of the Sunday morning talk shows. An "expert" will come on and fervently agree with Keith that this cranky obsolete conservative is an asshole and should go to hell. Then comes Oddball, which is sometimes funny and other times just, well, odd (there's truth in advertising there, at least). Items #3 and #2 will be pretty much repeats of Item #4, with the names of the cranky conservative and the baseless talking point changed (a different "expert" will also be used, to make it clear that, yes, lots of people think these cranky conservatives are assholes and should go to hell). Finally, there's item #1, which in recent weeks has often been the "WTF Moment", which usually highlights -- you guessed it! -- the latest baseless political turd laid by a cranky obsolete conservative.

However Keith Olbermann's Ego would really appreciate it if you'd take a stroll over to Daily Kos and kick that stupid poll this idiot has posted over there. No Keith Olbermann has NOT lost it. Also, feel free to post undying praise and devotion to The Ego. You know how important that is to Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Don't some of you have jobs to do?

And I don't mean the measly little ones you get paid for either.

It has come to the Ego's attention that some of you here are calling the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego melodramatic. A few have even accused Keith Olbermann's Ego of wallowing in the drama of yesterday's events. And you know what? You're right. But that's what makes Keith Olbermann's Ego the mighty ego that roared and don't you ever forget it.

Furthermore, I don't know what's wrong with some of you, but you're obviously lacking empathy/sympathy genes or something. Don't you get that the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego is never ever ever ever wrong? Furthermore, how dare some of you actually go so far as to question The Ego's motives. If it comes from Keith Olbermann's lips it is true. That is ALL you EVER need to know. Got it?

And one more thing: when Keith Olbermann's Ego asks for sympathy and understanding and support, it is your sworn duty as duly appointed Keith Olbermann Minions to start kissing KO ass doing what I tell you to do immediately. If Keith Olbermann's Ego needs understanding, support, worship and adoration, then get your Minion asses over to Daily Kos ASAP as Daily Kos is the only official Keith Olbermann endorsed conduit for such worship and adoration.

Now for you slackers who have been slagging off about the great emotional turmoil that the genius that is Keith Olbermann's Ego has had to endure for the past 24 hours, I expect each of you to pick up the phone right now and call in sick today to your puny little jobs--and I know your jobs are puny indeed. You know why? Because The Ego pad more than a million dollars in taxes last year (and that was even after using Katy as a write-off). And you mean to tell me you think your job is more important than mine? No. It is NOT. Furthermore, nothing is as important as Keith Olbermann's Ego. And don't you ever forget it. Priorities people, priorities. I expect you to have them and they begin and end with me, got it? If the Ego deems it necessary to both blog about something AND devote a segment of Countdown to it, it's important. That is ALL you need to know.

Now where was I? Oh yeah--worship, adoration, support, blah blah blah. Okay I expect the doubters amongst you to immediately get your butts over to Daily Kos. I'll be checking back later and when I do, I expect to see epic-length, glowing, sympathetic posts telling the whole wide world how much you adore the greatness that is Keith Olbermann. I see that some of you have already done that, just as The Ego likes loves it.

And when you're done with that--then I want you all to go to each of those websites that have maligned the genius that is Keith Olbermann and tell them how much they suck--and The Ego is well-pleased that some of you have already done exactly that. Now that is a real Minion. The rest of you? Not so much. So now that The Ego has given you your marching orders--get busy: you have work to do.

How dare you sir!

Yes, YOU. You know who you are. The miserable right-wing loving bastards who seek to demean the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Massive Ego.So this obviously bitter and angry GOP-lover wrote this about Keith Olbermann. (Because if anyone ever writes anything negative about Keith Olbermann that automatically makes them a GOP-loving bastard or bitch doesn't it?: You betcha). And then that was picked up by a cabal of bitter right-wing enablers including Wonkette. And Wonkette (yeah yeah they are so vile, so evil they posted about the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's ego not once but twice). And then Gawker. And the Boston Globe. And Huffington Post. Each and every one of them are right-wing sympathizers. And they are obviously trying to smear Keith Olbermann with any means possible. Which left Keith Olbermann only one choice: blog about it on Daily Kos and devote a major segment to it on Countdown, isn't that what everyone does?

I Love Kos almost as much as I love me.

Because they let me blog there. And I get to respond to my critics just like I do on Countdown. And just so the haters will now,

"Since she (Rachel) started, my ratings are up 50-75%. It doesn't matter who has more on a given night. I'll be the one applauding loudest if she gets more every night.

Okay that last part? Totally a lie. Bitch better watch her step. She needs to recognize who's Alpha Dog, Sir MSKONBC, Lord of the Cable News Anchors and she better not forget it. and just in case she does, I'll blog again at Kos and explain what ratings really mean which is whatever I want them to. Got it?

And you know why her ratings were good?

Because she is my protege. 'Nuff said.

*Spelling corrected by Marinara because sometimes, even Keith Olbermann's Ego needs a spell-checker.

See, I told you I ran MSNBC.

And I just can't help myself when it comes to reminding everyone that I do. Rachel gets her own show and I get those Kossacks off my butt. They owe me one now and they better not forget it. And Rachel? That goes double for you.

And Dan Abrams? So-called former "General Manager" of MSNBC? That's what happens to people who think they're my boss.

Now let's all kick back and enjoy this very fine tune from my good friend, Patti Smith. Yes, it is indeed good to run MSNBC rule the world.

Me and Daily Kos

I love Daily Kos. I love it so much I regularly blog and comment there. But sometimes they don't seem to love me too much. Take this guy (gal-who knows)?

On Monday during "Countdown" TV host Keith Olbermann marveled at the presence of the Leaning Tower of Pisa in the now famous "celeb" ad released by John McCain's campaign. The problem: The object to which Olbermann refers was NOT the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but a structure located at the site of Obama's Berlin speech, called the "Victory Column".

Listen you little creep, if I say it's the Leaning Tower of Pisa, it's the Leaning Tower of Pisa got it?

That's not all. Olbermann also claimed to have seen the Washington Monument in the ad in question, which is flat-out false. The Washington Monument is not in the ad either.

Does this guy/gal actually think I have the kind of time to watch the damn ad?

Turns out he does.

Keith is both clueless and arrogant, hence my decision to make him center of this diary. Furthermore, as progressive media critic Bob Somerby observed today "He’d (Olbermann) had twelve hours to check his facts—but he still was repeating these world-class blunders..."

Okay I'll own up to being arrogant. I am Keith Olbermann's Ego after all. But clueless? Me? No, I just don't have the kind of time to watch this stuff. I have staff for that buddy.

Okay so I screwed up. Big deal, Washington Monument, Leaning Tower of Pisa, whatever. They're both big and white, right? What's the big diff exactly? I was close enough. But this little creep continued on to insult me even further:

Spare us the BS next time, Keith, and start justifying the ginormous salary MSNBC pays you. Watching the video was all it took for you to have avoided making an ass of yourself. Too late now.

I have feelings. I hurt. I need love. I need so much love. Thankfully my Kossacks were there to defend me. 300 plus comments baby! I am the king! I am the King of All Media. (Yeah I know that's Howard Stern's title but does he has his own cable news network tv show? Does he run a damn cable news network like I do? That's what I thought). Where was I? Oh yes, The love. My Kossacks love me. And that's the way I Keith Olbermann's ego loves it.

A word on the inspiration for this blog. . and a note of Thanks to Flowergirl

And now a word from the real me, not Keith's Ego-it's currenly in a cage under lock and key so I can blog as me, not it.

I want to go on the record here as being in debt to Flowergirl at Countdown and Keith Olbermann, because it was her blog that inspired me to start this one. I think she's totally got Keith's number. She dares to ask questions which is not popular at all with Keith's fans who rabidly defend him no matter what and/or tend to ignore questionable actions and/or statements.

And no I don't hate Keith. I've been a CD fan for years, but over the past couple of years I've noticed that as the popularity of the show grew, the quality of Countdown declined. It's rapidly becoming just an echo chamber of "yes" men (and women) who repeat what Keith has just said. How is anyone going to benefit from that? I don't see anything to be gained by Keith and his fandom devolving into the liberal version of Limbaugh's "dittoheads" who need and have to hear their political views reinforced or get the Dem talking points on a 24/7 basis. No one side of the political spectrum is right 100% of the time but you sure wouldn't know it from watching CD.

So I began this blog mostly as a joke but also to call Keith Out when necessary, 2-To poke a little fun at the massive ego that is Keith Olbermann, and 3-to say what i really think about Keith in a goofy way w/o being accused of not being a true fan.