Keith Olbermann's Ego is Back

In the house, on the air, tonight 8pm central/5pm on the left coast. Be there people--it's time for another very special comment. Yep, on Health Care. And yes, plugged on Daily Kos too.

Keith Olbermann is not a Narcissitic Outrage Junkie

Pay no mind to Gawker. They have a well-documented history of hating the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. Obviously, they are all Republican right-wingnuts over there at Gawker.

And Keith Olbermann's Ego hasn't lost a damn thing thank you very much Dan Abrams. No wonder MSNBC fired you. You're dumb and so is your toupee and your website which exists purely to mock the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's much more superior career. But don't worry Danny Boy, I don't think anyone will notice your hairplugs/hairpiece/whatever the hell it is you call perched on top of your skull (dead rat maybe)?

Hey Kids Guess What Time It Is?

That's right children, The Ego's ratings haven't been good lately so you know what that means right? Yes, it's another Very Special Comment tonight on Countdown. Be there. The Ego needs the Ratings.

Gawker is still on Keith Olbermann's Ego's Enemies List

Gawker is still on Keith Olbermann's Ego's Enemies List. But at least they name-check the Ego here.

Sure, it was for a good cause, but the fact that Olbermann believed that an hour-long monologue worthy of Fidel Castro was something that people wanted or needed to see, and that his bosses actually let him get away with it, brought to mind Ben Affleck's flawless SNL caricature of Olbermann's mammoth self-regard. It seemed at times last night that he actually took some pointers from Affleck's performance — Olbermann's ego is expansive enough to take such jabs as loving tribute, and incorporate them into his self-image like some ravenous blob that from a sci-fi movie.

Bosses at MSNBC? I got news for you Gawker, Keith Olbermann runs owns MSNBC. If the Ego wants to do something dammit, he does it. And The Ego isn't sure but he thinks Gawker just accused him of devouring Ben Affleck or something. Jennifer Garner, oh yeah, The Ego would devour that but Affleck? No.

If you really want to change the course of the health care debate and change minds, Keith—hell, if you even just want to inform people about the world around them, like your sainted Edward R. Murrow, now and again—try pointing the camera at something other than yourself. And let us know when you conquer death.

But my public demands that Gawker. They want Keith Olbermann 24/7--as it should be.

A Very Special, Special Comment by Keith Olbermann

Keith Olbermann's Ego is famed for his Very Special, Special Comments. But tomorrow night's Special Comment will be even more special than all the Special Comments that came before. Why you ask? Because Keith Olbermann's Ego has seen fit to make it an hour-long Special Comment! You read right my adoring fans. Keith Olbermann will be devoting the entire 60-minutes of Countdown tomorrow night to a Very Special, Special Comment on Health Care. It'll be just like Glenn Beck but without all the insanity but with intelligence and eloquence--two things that no one on Faux News has but that the Ego has in abundance because as you all know by now, The Ego is a genius.

It's Special Comment Night

And to the trolls at this blog, The Ego has a very special message for you too:

This is so sweet!

Look everybody, there's no need to actually watch Countdown for one of Keith's trademark "Special Comments" anymore, you can now generate your own! Pretty funny huh?

Salon.Com is my Newest Enemy

Salon.Com does not get the genius and greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego and didn't understand the significance or appreciate the genius that was The Ego's last Special Comment .

The MSNBC host's habit of equaling or surpassing his nemesis Bill O'Reilly in self-righteousness isn't a recent phenomenon, and has made the show increasingly difficult to watch. Even by that standard, though, this was a bit much.

The Ego is never self-righteous because the Ego is always, always, always right. Doesn't this goonhead get that? Is it really so hard for these stupid idiots to understand they should bow down at my feet and worship all that is so very fabulous about me? Honestly, I do not expect my viewers to be on my intellectual level, I mean, after all, there is no one who is on my intellectual level because I'm the smartest man in the damn room, got it? Anyway, this blithering idiot then goes on to critique the length of my latest Special Comment.

the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. brought his "I Have a Dream" speech in at under 17 minutes, John F. Kennedy's inaugural address lasted less than 14 minutes and the Gettysburg Address is only 10 sentences long -- you'd think Olbermann could manage to wrap up the "Special Comment" in under 10:53.

It was an important message. It needed time to deliver. Mark The Ego's words, one day those Special Comments will be thought of as far more important than all those other speeches combined. And you know why? Because The Ego wrote them and uttered them and delivered them with such utter conviction. Because yes, The Ego is always right. And let's be honest, it also kills one entire segment of the show. And if the Ego knows anything at all about his audience, it's that they never grow tired of seeing more ME. And it is all about me after all. As it should be.

Now back to more Me.

You all know that Keith Olbermann's Ego loves Keith Olbermann above and beyond anything else. Except maybe for the Yankess and baseball card collecting. Anywho, last night the Ego put his two finger-typing skills to work to produce another brilliant Special Comment, delivered to absolute perfection on last night's Countdown. Watch it. Again and Again. Marvel at just how damn good The Ego is. Then go post the love and adoration at Kos. Because there is absolutely nothing that the Ego loves more than that. That and acclaim. And lots of it.

And one more thing...Special Comment Monday Night

Sure I know some of you will be watching the pre-inauguration festivities but why bother when you can watch the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego give another Special Comment full of faux righteous outrage and indignation? Remember, that's Monday night, 8pm Eastern, on your tv screen.

The Gays Love Keith Olbermann

I knew my Ego's stirring comments on Prop 8 would pay off. And here's the proof: The Blade loves me, and not just in the way they love Anderson Cooper or Shep Smith either.
Keith Olbermann's Ego thinks that it was the little catch in the voice and the moisture in the eyes (thanks Visine!) that suckered them in, or maybe it's just that naturally recognize that Keith Olbermann is one hell of a guy. The Keith Olbermann World Domination Tour continues.

And you ask me WHY I need to do a nightly special comment?

It's not just the part about saving this great nation from another 8 years of incompetent Republican rule, it's also this.

On the first night of Keith Olbermann's nightly Special Campaign Comments, the MSNBC program had its highest viewership ever in the A25-54 demo (935,000). Countdown was #1 in demo and #2 in Total Viewers (behind The O'Reilly Factor). Also, Hardball was #1 at 7pmET and The Rachel Maddow Show was #1 at 9pmET in the demo.

Yeah go ahead, admit it. The Ego is Loved. As it should be.

Yeah you heard the Ego right

NIGHTLY special comments baby! More of The Ego is always, always a good thing.

Please stop asking me why

it's okay that MSNBC showed images of 9/11 today when I said 2 days ago that no responsible newsroom still showed those images anymore in my latest Special Comment. It's just is okay? And it is if I say it is and that's really all you need to know. Did I tell you that I got a really big raise from MSNBC? The two aren't connected I swear.

And you know why her ratings were good?

Because she is my protege. 'Nuff said.

*Spelling corrected by Marinara because sometimes, even Keith Olbermann's Ego needs a spell-checker.

Watch my brilliance.

And the best part of all? A guaranteed ratings booster for me. Life.Is.Good.