What? You expect The Ego to post during Spring Training?

Keith Olbermann's Ego is busy with very important matters dammit. Spring Training, need The Ego say more?

Except the Ego does want to do a shout-out to Meghan McCain for bitch-slapping Ann Coulter. Couldn't happen to a nicer person. Note to Self: This Meghan McCain is kinda hot. Sure she's a little on the plus-size but with exercise and diet I'm sure she can take that weight off for Keith Olbermann's Ego. And she was whining last week she can't get any. Sure she and Katy are the same age but Meghan looks younger. And Katy is getting to be very boring. And Meghan is loaded. It would be very nice to not have to support the arm-candy: more money left over to spend on baseball cards. Plus there would be a private jet to fly down to spring-training in. She's kinda easy on the eye. There is that icky mother though-she looks like the crypt-keeper with hair extensions. And her father is a Republican. The fan base would never be down with me hitting a GOPer twenty-something. On the other hand, they might like the idea of the Ego screwing a Republican instead of a Republican screwing over a liberal for a change. And she's a Republican chick. Everyone knows how kinky those wacky Republicans are. And Meghan has said she likes the "bad boys". What would be badder than bedding down with the fabulousness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego? Hee hee hee. And she'd benefit out this situation too: she'd be able to really piss off her parents by taking up with The Ego. You know this could work out very well for everyone. Note to self: Make one of those over-paid staffers of mine hunt this chick down and book her for Countdown the instant I make my triumphant return (you know, after Spring Training--priorities don't you know). We can Coulter-bash together and see where this might lead.

John McCain knows who I am!

And Keith Olbermann's Ego has the video to prove it! Even if he did imply that there was a padded room ready and waiting for The Ego.

3 Debates

That's how long it took for TVNewser to figure out that Keith Olbermann's Ego wasn't exactly serving as an "analyst" for MSNBC but was instead, still serving as an anchor on debate nights. What did this fool think I was going to do? Sit alongside the likes of Chris Matthews or Joe "Scar" Scarborough like they were my equals or something? Instead I got rid of the baggage (seriously, Matthews was dragging me down) and The Ego gets Two Hours to say and do whatever the hell it wants. As it should be. Ain't life grand? It is when you are the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

David Letterman?

So on my list. Apparently he had this to say last week about me. Or more accurately, my big giant head. Seriously, this is what he said about me. That I have a big giant head. Don't believe me? Read this.

In announcing the tenative return of McCain to the show, Letterman reminded viewers that he had been reduced to booking "that guy with the giant head," Keith Olbermann, as a last-minute replacement.

But does Dave ask WHY I have a giant head? To contain my giant ego, duh.

Boot Brokaw? I'm all for it.

Ha ha ha ha. My minions are hard at work. And the best part of it all? I didn't have to say a word. That'll teach Tom Brokaw to mess with the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Reasons why Conan O'Brien sucks.

Because he mocks the greatness that is Keith Olbermann and MSKONBC. David Letterman? David Letterman is the best late night talk show in the history of the medium. Why? Because he recognizes the genius that is Keith Olbermann's ego.

Damn right I want a security force around me

I'm heading into enemy territory. And I'm not just talking about the NBC/MSNBC employees lounge. (Those idiots hate me. I hate them though so I guess we're kinda even). Where was I? Oh yeah, security. I need security. Lotsof security. O'Reilly has his own security force why can't I have my own security team? Do you think I actually want to go to the RNC convention? I'll be about as welcome there as a Hummer at a Greenpeace rally.

New add to the enemies list: CJR

What do these guys know about journalism anyway? Merely putting the word "journalism" in your title doesn't mean you know jack about the profession. I mean come on, Faux claims to be a "news" network but we all know they are the house organ for the GOP.

That’s right, kids: last night was Special Comment night on Countdown. A little bit Murrow, a little bit O’Reilly; a little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n roll—and always filled with vitriol. Olbermann’s performance, this time around, was particularly melodramatic: as the former sports reporter swooped and spun (again, rhetorically) while railing against the “immaturity” of the GOP’s presumptive nominee, he indulged in even more Dramatic Sighs and Angered Shakes of the Head than usual. Quite the floor routine.

Okay I'm cool with the Murrow comparison. And yes, I do owe Bill-O a little something (like a guaranteed 3-5 minutes of my show devoted to him per night), but I've never liked country music. Rock and roll? Damn straight baby. I'm the Elvis of Anchormen! (What? I need a younger reference for my 25 and unders?) Okay scratch Elvis, uhm--Bono. I'm the Bono of newsanchors minus the weird sunglasses and the Irish accent. But come on, questioning my vitriol? I'm angry dammit! I'm angry at the last 8 years of this country under GOP oppression. My audience is angry too and I'm just saying what they would if they had a tv newscast. Melodramatic? It's called TV! You have to grab the audience by their balls (or other assorted genitalia) to get their attention. Swooped and spun? Yes, it's called camera blocking. All actorsanchors do it! I doubt this joker has ever even watched a local newscast let alone a nationwide, huge-hit like Countdown. "Indulged in Dramatic sighs and Angered Shakes of the Head?" Again, I'm angry. I'm expressing my anger. What's wrong with that buddy boy?

So while Olbermann, as he generally does, bolstered his bloviations with solid reporting…the whole thing was ultimately more circus than ceremony. And one lacking in, among other things, sportsmanship.

Sportsmanship? There is no sportsmanship in politics idiot. Circus? Ceremony? No, it's called news. And I'm the Murrow of the 21st Century. The NY Times said so. CJR? Who reads that crap? And trust me, this so-called review is all crap.

Watch my brilliance.

And the best part of all? A guaranteed ratings booster for me. Life.Is.Good.