Glenn Beck or Dan Abrams?

Keith Olbermann's Ego cannot decide which one he hates more. Of course longtime defenders of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego will know that Dan Abrams is a sworn enemy of the Ego and created a website just to discredit Keith Olbermann's Ego (wait, no that was Tucker Carlson). Whatever. Abrams and his crew of cretins have struck again, dissing the greatness that is the Ego and his brilliantly funny comedic spoof on Glenn Beck's Fox Fan Rally.

This is just uncomfortable and embarrassing and in the future Keith Olbermann should avoid trying to do Glenn Beck. Oof. In one of those instances where you wonder how come a producer didn’t step in and say this is really not a good idea, last night Olbermann played the voice of God (I think) in a skit that awkwardly depicted him playing the “voice Beck is hearing” from a “secret backstage” area in some sort of weird upper class accent

Obviously they are not fans of Family Guy (which of course gets the greatness that is the Ego and have wisely used the Ego's talents in the past to "voice" a character).

You know what would have been slightly less awkward and uncomfortable to watch? Keith Olbermann eating a big bowl of sour grapes while crying into his baby blanket. At least it would have been honest.

Oh yeah? Keith Olbermann's Ego will tell you what's honest and true: Dan Abrams and Mediaite suck great big giant bowls of sour grapes because they are insanely jealous of the huge, huge talent that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. Both Tucker Carlson and Dan Abrams were fired from MSNBC. They blame the Ego for their dismissal and cannot be trusted or believed. Consider the source my friends, consider the source.

Keith Olbermann is not a Narcissitic Outrage Junkie

Pay no mind to Gawker. They have a well-documented history of hating the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. Obviously, they are all Republican right-wingnuts over there at Gawker.

And Keith Olbermann's Ego hasn't lost a damn thing thank you very much Dan Abrams. No wonder MSNBC fired you. You're dumb and so is your toupee and your website which exists purely to mock the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's much more superior career. But don't worry Danny Boy, I don't think anyone will notice your hairplugs/hairpiece/whatever the hell it is you call perched on top of your skull (dead rat maybe)?

Dan Abrams must be stopped.

Keith Olbermann's Ego respectfully asks his minions to please heap their dislike and scorn upon Dan Abrams and his pitiful little website which continues to tell lie after lie about the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. Get busy minions and show 'em how much you love the Ego.

Keith Olbermann is NOT bleeding.

No matter what those know-nothing bloggers at Dan Abrams little website have to say. Remember, if it does not come from Keith Olbermann's Ego, it is NOT true.

For the record? Dan Abrams can kiss Keith Olbermann's Ass

How dare he question the journalistic integrity and ethics of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego? The Ego has a primetime news show--what does Abrams have? A dinky website. Keith Olbermann's Ego rests his case and as judge and jury, I win, as The Ego always does.

Et Tu New York Times?

I thought the NY Times loved me. Where's the love? Did they have to put this on the front page where everyone could see it?

After months of accusations of political bias and simmering animosity between MSNBC and its parent network NBC, the channel decided over the weekend that the NBC News correspondent and MSNBC host David Gregory would anchor news coverage of the coming debates and election night. Mr. Olbermann and Mr. Matthews will remain as analysts during the coverage.

Oh I'll analyze alright. I'll analyze like no one has ever analyzed before in the history of the medium.

Executives at the channel’s parent company, NBC Universal, had high hopes for MSNBC’s coverage of the political conventions. Instead, the coverage frequently descended into on-air squabbles between the anchors, embarrassing some workers at NBC’s news division, and quite possibly alienating viewers. Although MSNBC nearly doubled its total audience compared with the 2004 conventions, its competitive position did not improve, as it remained in last place among the broadcast and cable news networks.

Look, we kicked ass in the ratings as compared to 2004. What more do these idiots want? And fights? Yeah, sure we fought. But people wanted to see the fights. It was part of the entertainment. Why couldn't people just get that? And those whiny ass NBC folks? They can kiss my ass. Really. I want them to kiss my ass. Repeatedly. Okay, sure that may have been part of the problem. But who's more important? Them or me? That's right. ME. Except maybe not so much at least until November. Then I'll be back off-leash and ready to rumble. And who will I come looking for first? Those whiny-ass NBCers. That's right Brokaw. You're on the list. So is Williams. And Gregory? Don't make me laugh. Looks like Howdy Dowdy's love child with Anderson Cooper.I have to say though I did get a laugh off of one thing in this so-called news article. A perfect example of what happens when the Mouth gives unauthorized quotes and doesn't let the EGO speak, nonsense like this:

“I found it ironic and instructive that I could have easily said exactly what I did say, exactly when I did say it, if I had been wearing a different hat, and nobody would have taken any issue,” he said.

Can I get a translator or three in here, stat? Hell, even I can't translate that one. Update: The Mouth tells me it didn't give this quote. The Ass was in charge of spitting out that quote. That certainly helps explain it but I still can't translate it.

Some staff members said the tension led to the network’s decision to keep Mr. Olbermann in New York for the Republican convention, after he ran the desk in Denver during the Democratic convention. MSNBC said that he stayed in New York to anchor coverage of Hurricane Gustav. But some workers say there were other reasons — namely, that Mr. Olbermann was concerned about his safety in St. Paul, given the loud crowds at MSNBC’s set in Denver.

Look, I don't even like crowds when they're friendly. The EGO does not mingle with the common folk. Did they really think I was going to endanger life and limb by diving into a GOP-centric audience? Why would they want to damage their STAR Anchor? Okay sure some wanted to see me torn limb from limb but that was just Scarborough and Abrams. Losers. Oh and one more thing? For all you haters who think that NBC doesn't love me anymore? Check it out babies:

Just last year, Mr. Olbermann signed a four-year, $4-million-a-year contract with MSNBC. NBC is close to supplementing that contract with Mr. Olbermann, extending his deal through 2013 — and ensuring that he will be on MSNBC through the next election.

That's right. The EGO roars again. Just had to let everyone know that I'll be live and large on your tv screen straight through to 2013. Sure NBC doesn't like it. Hell, most of MSNBC doesn't like it. But you know what? I make so damn much money I can buy and sell them all. So life is still good for me. And that's really all that matters, right?

You know why I love Daily Kos?

Because they'll believe anything I tell them without even thinking about it. God I love the comments there. Look at the love and adoration they heap upon me. And not one of them even thinks to ask this question: why do I deny the Brokaw story but don't deny the stories about my having Abrams, Tucker Carlson, and Scarborough (he's next) booted. You know why I don't mention it? Yeah, you know. And I know. But the Kossacks? They just don't. So let's just keep that little secret between you and me okay?

Oh and one more thing? Sometimes when I deny something it's in direct proportion to how true it actually happens to be. And if Brokaw were smart he'd watch his back. See that big ole' pat I just gave him? Look close and you'll see a knife carefully hidden in my hand. Death by a thousand cuts and all that.

The Huffington Post has my back.

I like them for that. Seems that their Media editor, Rachel Sklar wanted to post this at Huffington Post. They wouldn't let her. HA! So desperate is this seriously delusional woman to mock me that she sought out an alternative marketplace for her crappy writing. Does she honestly think anyone will ever see this? HA (again).

It's Olbermann's left. That is two things: (1) The partisan coverage that has emerged as a point of controversy over this election season, and (2) Olbermann's personal influence at MSNBC.

See how clueless this woman is? She's expressing surprise at my personal influence at MSNBC. Anyone with half a brain knows that I run own MSNBC.

Emblematic of this issue were MSNBC's primary nights, when Olbermann — well known for his "Special Comments," which often railed against the Bush administration and the GOP — would anchor election-night results, ostensibly from a straight-news perspective. MSNBC president Phil Griffin said he saw "zero problem" with Olbermann's two hats,

Of course Phil sees no problem with it. And you know why? He's my bitch.

It probably has not helped that Olbermann has taken to posting on Daily Kos, a pointedly partisan blog.

Look I have to go where my audience goes. They demand that I speak to them. What better way to do that than Kos? Why can't this woman see the obvious?

Over the past few years, Olbermann's influence at MSNBC has grown as his ratings have increased, his public profile has skyrocketed and the network's third-place ratings have crept upward. Throughout this time, he has also made this influence known, publicly minimizing the role of his superiors in his success or workplace decisions.

Again, I own MSNBC. I am the Man. And it's all about me. I am directly responsible for my success and I tell bozos like Griffin where to go and how to get there. Why does this come as such a shock to Ms. Sklar?

About Griffin this past June in a New Yorker profile, Olbermann said of now-president Griffin: "Phil thinks he's my boss."

I was merely stating a fact. It's pretty obvious isn't it? Again, Ms. Sklar acts like this is somehow a badthing.

No wonder Huffington Post wouldn't allow her to post this crap. Read this outraged post as she hints darkly that my running owning MSNBC is somehow a bad thing.

This becomes all the more significant considering Olbermann's own posting of the news yesterday on Daily Kos. Olbermann made a point of taking credit for having a role in the decision ("Yes, I had something to do with it") and elicited a similar claim from Maddow last night on his show. At no time did he mention Abrams or what show currently aired at 9 p.m.; that's not surprising, because he has never mentioned "Verdict" on his show or done the traditional 'throw' from one show to another to keep viewers tuned in (I am aware of only one throw, after the final primary.) However, on Wednesday's Countdown, he suggested to Maddow that he'd happily throw to her for a few chatty minutes. That network anchors might not be best buddies isn't exactly groundbreaking, but putting all of this together suggests something lopsided at MSNBC. It's not particularly opaque, either; here's Jossip's headline, "Rachel Maddow's New Show: The Most Solid Evidence Yet That Keith Olbermann Runs MSNBC"; here is New York's Daily Intel: "With Appointment of Rachel Maddow to Prime-Time Host, Keith Olbermann Appears to Officially Run MSNBC." Maddow obviously was a rising star at MSNBC anyway, but this isn't about why she was hired, this is about who she replaced, and why -- and, behind the scenes, by whom.

I'm the ego that roared baby. Hold on, it's gonna be one hell of a ride.

See, I told you I ran MSNBC.

And I just can't help myself when it comes to reminding everyone that I do. Rachel gets her own show and I get those Kossacks off my butt. They owe me one now and they better not forget it. And Rachel? That goes double for you.

And Dan Abrams? So-called former "General Manager" of MSNBC? That's what happens to people who think they're my boss.

Now let's all kick back and enjoy this very fine tune from my good friend, Patti Smith. Yes, it is indeed good to run MSNBC rule the world.