Sweet! Awesome! Katy Tur Sees A Tornado!

Okay Katy Tur's Ego has seen a tornado now. Can I come home now? Where is Keith's agent my agent? I want a sweet deal just like Katie Couric has. No, wait, I want Katie Couric's job. I mean we have the same name and everything. And I bet Katie Couric has never been hit in the head by a hailstone. And Katy Tur's Ego is much, much, much younger and way cuter. And Katy Tur knows how to use words like sweet and awesome. So agent person. Get busy. Negotiate my new anchor deal immediately. What do you think Keith I'm paying you for? I've paid my dues dammit! Katy Tur's Ego has been out in an old beat up car for almost a month now with sweaty, smelly nerdy guys (who aren't even rich like Keith's Ego is). Not to mention the past two years living with The Ego. I deserved an anchor job for that one alone. So I've been up close and personal with a tornado. Now I'm ready to be a star!

It's Katy Tur's Ego!

Yeah, that's right bitches. I'm guest-blogging here at KOE. I've seen your snide little remarks about me, my resume and my new job at The Weather Channel. Look, Keith's Ego has already laid it all out for you. My job relationship with Keith's Ego had nothing to do whatsoever with this new gig at the NBC Universal-owned Weather Channel. Sure he hooked up Rachel Maddow, David Schuster, and Ed what's his name up with their jobs but he has no influence whatsoever at TWC, got it? So since I'm like totally fed up with your snide remarks, I'm going to explain to you why I got the job I got at TWC. See, here's my resume.

A versatile reporter, producer, and writer with eight years experience in television news. A strong storyteller with excellent live skills with special emphasis on breaking news stories.

Yes, that's right, I'm a very strong storyteller. Stories I've covered have ranged from an Easter Bunny on Ice to some band that no one's ever heard of an exclusive with the hottest band on the music scene today. And who says I'm dumb besides you bitches? Katy Tur's Ego has a BA in Philosophy from UC-Santa Barbara. And no, it's not true that it's a party school. No, it's an institution of serious learning. Look, I learned how to grope another woman's breast in a threesome do an interpretive dance on the plight of the environment and population overcrowding and all that crap while I was there.

And philosophy? It's like totally applicable to television reporting. I mean seriously. And this old woman (seriously, she's got to be like at least like 40 or something-that's ancient-kinda like Keith) who complains because no one would hire her for a TV job after she got out of Harvard? it's totally because she didn't major in Philosophy like Katy Tur's Ego did. See? I'm a genius!

Okay where was I? Oh yeah, experience. I have lots of experience. See, it says so right there on the resume. That Freelance Reporter Job at WPIX. I mean sure it was only a weekend job but it was still a job. And Keith's Ego had nothing to do with Katy's Ego getting that job either. See, it says so right here.

The Media Mob caught up with a CW11 spokesperson Jessica Bellucci this morning. According to Ms. Bellucci, Ms. Tur joined the station several weeks ago as a "freelance reporter," working on general assignment. "She got the job on her own merit," said Ms. Bellucci.

And like I spent a whole 10 months working at some cable tv "news" station that no one has ever heard of at a news outfit in Brooklyn. See, it says I was a one-woman band (I really love bands and dancing by the way).

Okay and then there was the Dec. '06 to May '07 gig that Katy's Ego had at VOOM HD News in NYC. (May-December, kinda like Keith's Ego and Katy's Ego, get it?). I mean sure no one has any idea what VOOM HD was ('cuz it's like only seen in a really teeny tiny area since the plug got pulled on it but that had nothing to do with my brilliant reporting). Now I know you're asking yourself why I haven't mentioned those videos I shot of elephants marching through NYC on Current and YouTube during that same time frame. Easy bitches: 'cuz those videos like totally don't exist anymore (because I deleted them faster than Keith's Ego can blow a ton of money on Ebay on old baseball junk). So too bad you missed out on their brilliance cuz they totally rocked.

And I know some of you are asking why it was that Keith's Ego referred to me as a "freelance reporter" in interviews back in the day when he hired me we first hooked up. Look, Keith's Ego is busy. You can't expect him to pay attention to what I'm doing now can you? (And thank God for that. He seriously has no idea what I get up to when he's not around).

Now that brings us to the entire year that Katy's Ego spent as an "editorial assistant" at KTLA in LA. Now in some reports Katy's Ego was referred to as a "producer" while at KTLA. Actually no one has any idea what I did there. Me? I couldn't figure out what I was doing there either. I mean clearly I was destined to greater things which is how I went from no on-camera experience in LA to working in the Number One Media market in the world. Happens everyday right? Right.

Where was I? Oh yeah, my beginning job--working for this thing called the Los Angeles News Service as a "field producer/video library manager/sales". The people who own that thing, Bob Tur and his ex-wife Marika Tur-Gerrard are great people (okay fine, big deal, so what-they're my parents, my getting the job with them had nothing to do with the fact that I was their daughter). And I know you're asking yourself how it is that I managed to hold down a full-time job from June 2001 to June 2005 in Los Angeles which just happened to coincide with the same time frame I was attending college in Santa Barbara. Please people, it's because I can multi-task! DUH!

So there you have it. My brilliant four eight-year career. And I had no help whatsoever from anyone (other than Keith's Ego's agent Jean Sage who in a totally coincidental way, just happens to be Katy's Ego's agent too-small world huh?).