They say that imitation

is the sincerest form of flattery. And Keith Olbermann's ego loves flattery and lots of it. But somehow this does not amuse me. Just a warning: Mock me at your own risk.

Things I love the Most

The Yankees and Myself. Pop Quiz: Count how many times I talk about myself in this article.

I Love Kos almost as much as I love me.

Because they let me blog there. And I get to respond to my critics just like I do on Countdown. And just so the haters will now,

"Since she (Rachel) started, my ratings are up 50-75%. It doesn't matter who has more on a given night. I'll be the one applauding loudest if she gets more every night.

Okay that last part? Totally a lie. Bitch better watch her step. She needs to recognize who's Alpha Dog, Sir MSKONBC, Lord of the Cable News Anchors and she better not forget it. and just in case she does, I'll blog again at Kos and explain what ratings really mean which is whatever I want them to. Got it?

I'd like to thank the Academy................

So Forbes has decided to have a little fun at my expense.

While "WWE Smackdown!" has never been an Emmy contender, my special Smackdown Emmy has been earned by NBC News and its fractious former co-anchors for MSNBC's convention coverage. Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews played host to partisan dust-ups, back-and-forth bickering, and outstanding achievement in embarrassing the news division before they were abruptly reassigned as commentators for the rest of the campaign. And all without benefit of steroids or spandex!

But you know what? I'm having more fun because I get to deliver an Emmy Speech. It goes something like this "I'd like to thank the Academy for recognizing my brilliance. I'd thank my agent but honestly I do all the heavy lifting myself. I'd thank my staff and crew but let's get serious here. It's an honor for them to work with me. I'd thank Phil Griffin but everyone knows he's my butt boy already and I walk all over him on a daily basis. And the suits at NBC-Uni? Don't even get me started. Where was I? Oh yeah, thank yous. Yeah, let me thank what's her name--seriously....what's her name again? Oh yeah, Katy. But it's not like she had anything to do with this award. So who does that leave? Yep. Me. It's always, always, always all about me. As it should be. So thanks Academy. I can't say I didn't earn this because I totally did. I just want to know why it took you so long to note my brilliance to begin with.

Time to Banish Morning Joe

WTF? "Good things happen to GOOD people?" What the hell does that slimeball Scarborough mean by that little cutting comment? I'm not only good, I'm great. I'm the greatest anchorman in the history of MSNBC the world. Oh. They weren't talking about that kind of great. They were literally talking about being a good person. Who the hell cares about that kind of crap? What matters is greatness, not goodness and I am greatness personified. And so what if the little morning Joe folks just think Rachel is adorable. Now you know why I called Scarborough on his shoveling for McLame because he's totally full of it. How does that make me a bad person for pointing out that he's a bullshit artist? Dont these idiots understand I run own KONBC? Decisions. Decisions. Where can I banish these no-talent idiots to? You'd think morning on MSNBC would be banishment enough for them. Losers.

This better not be a trend.

So I'm not liking the looks of this. I gave her that show and she better not forget it. More importantly, she needs to make sure that this doesn't become a regular occurrence. Oh sure I can and will take complete credit for her success but I just don't want her doing better than me. Or then it will be RMNBC not KONBC and I have a real problem with that.

Jeff Zucker is a tool

but he can spin like a top. I like that in a network executive. Particularly when the network executive in question likes loves me.