In honor of Friday night's Countdown

For those of you who were somewhat taken aback by the content matter of Friday night's show. Because if you can't love yourself who else can you love?

Very Funny Rachel.

So Rachel Maddow thinks she's being cute.

In a Rolling Stone interview she was asked where she'd sit if she had to take a taxi to the airport with colleagues Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews, she quips: "Well, I assume that Keith would drive."

Okay everyone knows that I can't really drive (long story involving a subway car and my big, enormous head). But at least Rachel is smart enough to know who drives MSNBC. That's me and my massive ego baby. And she (and everyone else) better not ever forget it.

Boot Brokaw? I'm all for it.

Ha ha ha ha. My minions are hard at work. And the best part of it all? I didn't have to say a word. That'll teach Tom Brokaw to mess with the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

They say imitation is the sincerest form

of flattery but somehow I'm annoyed that Campbell Brown now thinks she can morph herself into moi and somehow gain ratings for her pathetic little news hour. Still, I was mentioned in the article so that pleases me. I can never get enough of me.

Enough already.

If I have to read one more article about everyone's favorite Lesbian, Rachel Maddow I'm going to throw up. What about me? What about my ego? It must be fed dammit. Where is the press love for me? I used to be everyone's darling. And you know what really blows? That these glowing articles about Rachel (trust me she ain't all that) don't mention me or give me all the credit for her success, as they should. Because without me? She's nothing.

Uh-oh. You know what this means?

Do you know what this means? That I better get paid. That's what it means. No pay, no me. No me, no viewers. No viewers, no ratings. No ratings? Then they are in even deeper doo than they are now. So please, do your part. Buy GE stock now and lots of it. Do it for me, Keith Olbermann's ego. Why? So I can continue to pull down $4M plus a year. I have a Park Avenue apartment to pay for and a girlfriend who has expensive tastes.

Tom Brokaw: Idiot

So at last Tom Brokaw admits that he had me canned reassigned.

In an interview...Mr. Brokaw said..he had “advocated” within the executive suite of NBC News to modify the anchor duties of the MSNBC hosts Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews on election night and on nights when there were presidential debates. Their expressions of strong political opinions from the MSNBC anchor desk has run counter to the more traditional role Mr. Brokaw played on “NBC Nightly News” for more than two decades.

See this is the problem with Tom "Idiot" Brokaw right there. He's trying to hold onto a model that is over 20 years old (as opposed to holding onto a 20-year old model which is a totally different thing). No less than Phil Griffin, the president of MSNBC called Countdown a model for the newscast of the future. I'm hip and happening baby! Tom is not. 'Nuff said.

“Keith is an articulate guy who writes well and doesn’t make his arguments in a ‘So’s your old mother’ kind of way,” Mr. Brokaw said. “The mistake was to think he could fill both roles. The other mistake was to think he wouldn’t be tempted to use the anchor position to engage in commentary. That’s who he is.”

And people love me for it Tom. You still don't get it.

Mr. Brokaw is 68 now, and the strain of a frenetic travel and work schedule appears to show in ways it did not before. At times on “Meet the Press” or on “Today” in recent weeks, Mr. Brokaw’s eyes have appeared to be mere slits and he has seemed short of breath. “My daughters will say I look tired,” he said. Asked if he was exhausted, he said: “Yeah, a little bit. Who wouldn’t be?”

See? Tom Brokaw is old. He doesn't understand the world of television news today. I do. And I am the future of television news. And that's why I am loved, adored, and worshiped. As it should be. the kids love me. Tom Brokaw isn't smart enough to get the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Massive Ego. Tom do yourself a favor and go back to Idaho or Wyoming or Nebraska or wherever it is that you have your little log cabin Tom and retire already. We here at MSKONBC will do just fine without you.