Impotent Rage?

Keith Olbermann's Ego is not amused. But at least Conde Nast Potfolio got one thing right: The Ego regularly crushes Campbell Brown's little news show over there on CNN. Apparently no one is watching that network anymore.

Every notice how "Twit" is part of the word "Twitter"?

And that is why Keith Olbermann's Ego refuses to Twitter.

Enough of my life has been consumed by electronics that have been invented during my life that I may have actually reached my absolute far end of my ability to handle new electronics, new ways of communication," he told us at the Empire State Pride Agenda's "Defying Inequality" event at the Gershwin last night. "I may have hit a wall with an iPhone." The Countdown host said he looked into it, but wasn't sure he wanted everyone to follow his life so closely. "I have a good, healthy broadcaster sense of paranoia as it is without it being literally true that the thing buzzing in my pocket is a bunch of people knowing I’m at 51st Street or wherever," he explained. "And a lot of the stuff, frankly, was not very interesting. I mean, it’s 'Ni-ho! David Gregory's in there having a Bran muffin!'"

Actually The Ego just doesn't want any ex-girlfriends, psycho-stalker fans or Bill O'Reilly knowing his approximate whereabouts.

The Oscars

So Keith Olbermann's Ego has just finished watching the Oscars and this question is foremost in the Ego's mind: Where is the shoutout to me dammit? Would it have killed any of these actors to mention moi just once? Doesn't Sean Penn know the Ego delivered an hour-long (okay it was really like 7 mintues but who's counting?) rant in support of gay marriage? And the Ego did it better than Sean did tonight too. So next year the Ego is looking for a nothing less than a nomination people. Look, The Ego has already conqurered Broadway. So Hollywood is the next logical step in my career. It doesn't even matter what category just so long as the Ego is nominated and wins. Because it's all about the winning. And the adulation. Hmmm. Note to self. See if we can get a studio audience for the newcasts. I could get a Standing O every night. Standing Ovations. Oscars. Winning. Because Keith Olbermann's Ego deserves no less.

Keith Olbermann's Ego Hits Broadway!

And it's all a benefit for gay marriage rights-what's not to love?Defying Inequality: The Broadway Concert — A Celebrity Benefit for Equal Rights, which will be held Feb. 23 at the Gershwin Theatre, the current home of Wicked. The Ego's costars will include:

Rev. Al Sharpton, Douglas Carter Beane, Shoshana Bean, PJ Benjamin, Mike Birbiglia, Stephanie J. Block, Tamara Braun, Daniel Breaker, Kerry Butler, Lynda Carter, Gavin Creel, Paige Davis, Harvey Fierstein, John Gallagher, Jr., Judy Gold, Jonathan Groff, The Gay Men's Chorus, Malcolm Gets, Jane Houdyshell, Crystal Hunt, Mark Indelicato, Allison Janney, Capathia Jenkins, Carson Kressley, Nathan Lane, Laughing Pizza, Adriane Lenox, Cameron Mathison, Rue McClanahan, Phyllis Newman, Patrick Paige, Nicole Parker, David Hyde Pierce, Billy Porter, Seth Rudesky, Sherri Saum, Christopher Sieber, Carole Shelley, Doug Spearman, Mary Testa, Tamara Tunie, Michael Urie, Scott Wittman, The Broadway Boys, Don't Quit Your Night Job, members of the closing cast of Gypsy, cast members from Billy Elliot, cast members from Jersey Boys, cast members from The Color Purple national tour, cast members from The Lion King, cast members from The Little Mermaid, cast members from Mary Poppins, cast members from "Saturday Night Live," cast members from "Sesame Street," cast members from South Pacific, original cast members from Spring Awakening and cast members from Wicked, Jane Fonda, Sally Struthers and cast members from the upcoming Broadway revival of Hair. Sir Elton John and David Furnish will also be featured in a special video message.

But who will be the biggest star there? Keith Olbermann's Ego, natch.
For ticket info--call (212) 307-4100 or visit www.defyinginequality.com because there's nothing more the Ego loves than to meet his devoted fans, especially if they're young and attractive.

Keith Olbermann's Ego will continue to Ignore This

The "this" being well, this, where the paid shill denies being paid. But note, she never denies being a shill. Case closed. Again, what do we know boys and girls? Keith Olbermann is never wrong. Ever. And that is really all you need to know.

What Heresy Is This?

What heresy is this?

So host a speaker you don't necessarily agree with, if not literally then in spirit. Listen to both Rush Limbaugh and Michael Moore, Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly, President Bush and President Obama. Broaden your horizons, give your ideological opponents the same attention and respect you give your favorite columnist or commentator. Leave your opinions open to a good challenge and don't be afraid to agree with the other side on an issue or two.

WTF? Seriously, Keith Olbermann's Ego cannot believe someone would dare suggest such a thing. The right is always wrong and Keith Olbermann is always right, got it? There is no need, whatsoever, to ever listen or watch anyone other than Keith Olbermann, ever. Case closed!

Keith Olbermann is No One's Fool

I don't care what this idiot has to say. Nor is Keith Olbermann's Ego ever wrong. Never. Except when forced to issue retractions. But it wasn't my fault. It was the transcription service's fault. See, it wasn't The Ego. It's never the ego's fault--ever, got it?

Failure to Worship Keith Olbermann's Ego has Consequences

Watch as The Ego barely acknowledges a waiting crowd at the inauguration festivities in D.C. last month. Why would Keith Olbermann's Ego ignore the fans you ask? Because they weren't groveling and worshiping The Ego enough.

More Gay Love for Keith Olbermann

Now updated with video.

And look, The Ego is even wearing a tux for the occasion.

Keith Olbermann is a Gay Icon

No really. See-it says so right here.

The crowd's heart at the February 7 Human Rights Campaign gala in Manhattan's Hilton Hotel, it seemed, belonged to a cable television political commentator.

See, they've taken Keith Olbermann to their hearts. And Keith Olbermann's Ego loves nothing more than capturing hearts. And awards. Lots of awards. And that's exactly what they presented The Ego with--another award. So The Ego decided to grace them with its presence because if there's one thing the Ego is guaranteed to show up for it's free food an award.

As Olbermann was poised to take the stage Saturday evening, a clip from that "Special Comment" was replayed to a hearty standing ovation

See, the gays even gave The Ego a "standing O", although the Ego would have preferred bowing or worshiping or something similar but still, close enough.

In his remarks, Olbermann said, "Marriage is about love and with so many enemies arrayed against marriage -- bad timing, poor health, infidelity, impatience, financial circumstances, tragedy, biology -- the thought that some people actually feel the need to lengthen that list with artificial traditions that have exactly the same relevance in today's world as the law that used to make marriage between slaves legally nonbinding, this thought continues to confound me. It is the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

Now the Ego knows absolutely zero about marriage. But love? Oh yes, The Ego is all about the love--loving The Ego is something that The Ego practices every single day. And the rest? Yeah, assorted experience with all of the above.And the whole dumb thing? The Ego does live with Katy. 'Nuff said.

Salon.Com is my Newest Enemy

Salon.Com does not get the genius and greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego and didn't understand the significance or appreciate the genius that was The Ego's last Special Comment .

The MSNBC host's habit of equaling or surpassing his nemesis Bill O'Reilly in self-righteousness isn't a recent phenomenon, and has made the show increasingly difficult to watch. Even by that standard, though, this was a bit much.

The Ego is never self-righteous because the Ego is always, always, always right. Doesn't this goonhead get that? Is it really so hard for these stupid idiots to understand they should bow down at my feet and worship all that is so very fabulous about me? Honestly, I do not expect my viewers to be on my intellectual level, I mean, after all, there is no one who is on my intellectual level because I'm the smartest man in the damn room, got it? Anyway, this blithering idiot then goes on to critique the length of my latest Special Comment.

the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. brought his "I Have a Dream" speech in at under 17 minutes, John F. Kennedy's inaugural address lasted less than 14 minutes and the Gettysburg Address is only 10 sentences long -- you'd think Olbermann could manage to wrap up the "Special Comment" in under 10:53.

It was an important message. It needed time to deliver. Mark The Ego's words, one day those Special Comments will be thought of as far more important than all those other speeches combined. And you know why? Because The Ego wrote them and uttered them and delivered them with such utter conviction. Because yes, The Ego is always right. And let's be honest, it also kills one entire segment of the show. And if the Ego knows anything at all about his audience, it's that they never grow tired of seeing more ME. And it is all about me after all. As it should be.

There isn't even a contest. Keith Olbermann or Bill O'Reilly?

The Ego has a love-hate relationship with Jossip. Sometimes they like The Ego, sometimes not. Today they're gauging public opinion on who is worse-Keith Olbermann or Bill-O. They're f'ing kidding The Ego aren't they?

At least the piece got off to a decent start:

Bill O'Reilly is a stupid racist posing as a newsman and shamming old people and rednecks into buying poison. To us, there's really nothing worse on television today. Literally nothing. We'd rather every station constantly play HeadOn ads than have to hear about the lying prick ever again

My thoughts exactly.

Both men are liars who distort facts to make points.

Keith Olbermann's Ego lie? Never. (Unless of course it's to make The Ego look better).

Keith Olbermann is a conceited, rich, hypocritical windbag, his saving grace is that at least he's not a rotten bigot

Well there is that.

Again, to be sure, Olbermann is not the type of man to beatify, and he should be watched with the same amount of skepticism one brings to a magic show…but he's still better than Bill O'Reilly.

This is the part that the Ego has the real problem with. What does they mean that The Ego is not someone to beatify? I'm Keith Olbermann's Gigantic Ego, an ego like none other. I'm brilliant. Handsome. Rich. Successful. I am exactly the type of man whose likeness should be carved in stone somewhere. How dare Jossip suggest otherwise.

Keith Olbermann needs a vacation.

So does his Ego. Both will be taking the next couple of days off. It's very exhausting reading all the wonderful reviews of just how fabulous the genius that is Keith Olbermann was during the Super Bowl coverage.

So fans-now it's time to pull out your extensive library of all things Keith and reminisce. Haters? Go watch Fox News and pick up more talking points you mindless cretins. And Katy "The Girlfriend" Tur? Get on that string bikini, we're headed to the beach.

Fox and Friends aren't my Friends.

So this asshat from Faux News claims that the genius that is Keith Olbermann's Ego ran away from him when he dared cross our path at the Super Bowl. Idiots. Why would the Ego run away from such a mental lightweight as the imbeciles that are employed at Faux? Never would I do such a thing. Never. Newshounds lays it all out for you here.

The Reviews Are In

and The Ego was fabulous. USA Today loved Keith Olbermann's Ego too. And the icing on the cake? The Ego managed to piss off conservatives in the process. Does it get any better than that?