Anderson Cooper? Anderson Cooper?

You got be f'ing kidding me. Anderson Cooper is the "new Edward R. Murrow"? What does he do that I don't do? Oh yeah, sure he goes to the scene of any natural disaster. Big f'ing deal. He just does it so he can emote for the camera. The Ego does not need to sink to such cheap tricks. The great thing about being Keith Olbermann's ego is that it doesn't require travel. And so he's on 60 Minutes now. Big deal. Do you know who watches that show? Old people. I have hip, young viewers. And I'm ME dammit: The Ego That Roared. How dare this idiot say that I'm not today's Edward R. Murrow--the "complete" package--whatever that means. And you know what else? The Ego lives with a 20-something GIRL. The Ego is a red-blooded, all-American MALE who likes young women (the younger the better). So was Murrow. So see? Keith Olbermann's Ego is today's real Murrow, not this Anderson Cooper guy, his globe-trotting, and his Prada suits.