Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Help Wanted

Who says that that NBC/MSNBC is only laying off people these days? Look, there's a job opening on Countdown (although technically speaking, someone lost their job which is why this one is open). Okay my faithful fanatics, time to brush off those resumes and you too could work with the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Massive (but oh so talented) Ego.
Segment Producer, Countdown with Keith Olbermann Built on the worldwide resources of NBC News, MSNBC defines news for the next generation with world-class reporting and a full schedule of live news coverage, political analysis and award-winning documentary programming - 24 hours a day, seven days a week. MSNBC's home on the Internet is msnbc.com. Msnbc.com boasts the state-of-the-art technology of Microsoft and the first-rate reporting of NBC News. NBC Universal is one of the world's leading media and entertainment companies. We develop, produce and market entertainment, news and information to a global market. NBC Universal owns and operates a valuable portfolio of news and entertainment networks, a premier motion picture company, significant television production operations, a leading television stations group, and world-renowned theme parks. The Segment Producer, Countdown with Keith Olbermann is responsible for writing segments for "Countdown with Keith Olbermann". Responsibilities include, but are not limited to: Produce and write assigned segments, Copy edits assigned scripts, Determine video and sound for assigned segments, Communicate daily story development with senior producer, Be in control room during airing of assigned segment, Field produce segments with MSNBC correspondents, when warranted, Participate in editorial planning, Pitch story ideas, Advise line producers of tease ideas, Work with graphics producers to create show graphics. Qualifications/Requirements: Must have a minimum of 3 years experience in live television (i.e. morning shows, cable shows, broadcast TV, etc.), Eligibility Requirements: Interested candidates must submit a resume/CV through nbcunicareers.com to be considered, Must be willing and able to work flexible hours, under tight deadline pressure, including breaking news, Must be willing to work in New York, NY, Must be willing to take drug test and submit to a background investigation, Must have unrestricted work authorization to work in the United States, Must be 18 years or older, Additional Eligibility Qualifications: For U.S. employment opportunities, GE hires U.S. citizens, permanent residents, asylees, refugees, and temporary residents. Temporary residence does not include those with non-immigrant work authorization (F, J, H or L visas), such as students in practical training status. Exceptions to these requirements will be determined based on shortage of qualified candidates with a particular skill. GE will require proof of work authorization. Any offer of employment is conditioned upon the successful completion of a background investigation and drug screen. Desired Characteristics: Expert writer and storyteller, Ability to enterprise, research, and plan stories, Ability to "book" guests, work with props, graphics, and special elements, Exceptional editorial skills: Ability to recognize stories with high potential for provocative, passionate, compelling television, Knowledge of politics and current events, Up to date on blogs, websites, periodicals, including Op-Eds.
Does this sound like you? If so, apply here. And then one day you can tell your grandchildren what it was like to work with the greatest broadcaster in the history of the universe.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Head Clown in the Circus

The AP hasn't had a good year. Their political and tv writers are idiots who don't get the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego but they called it right in this profile of my ole' high school non-chum and later ESPN co-worker, Chris Berman. The fat idiot is so dumb he couldn't figure out how to get out of ESPN like most of the rest of us talented ones did. Let's face it, the greatest days of ESPN were when The Ego and his butt boy Dan Patrick ruled SportsCenter. It's been in decline since the day The Ego left.
"He could have become the sage voice at ESPN by now, a voice of maturity, credibility and wisdom," New York Post columnist Phil Mushnick said. "Instead, he's the voice that does the imitation of Chris Berman. He's the head clown in the circus over there."
Love it. Although I think it's safer to say that Berman is the circus and ESPN are the clowns. Those guys never got the greatness that is The Ego either.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Songs from Keith Olbermann's Ego's IPOD: The Rolling Stones

So Keith Olbermann and his gigantic ego are on vacation this week. The Ego knows that the Ego's absence is tough for the Ego's devoted fans who hang on every single little syllable that the Ego utters (as you should). But think how glad you'll all be when the Ego returns fresh and rested and rarin' to go (as in go admire myself in the mirror, natch). If the pain of The Ego's abscence is just too great to bear, just break out your DVD's and video tapes and whatever it is you use to record Countdown and all The Ego's various media appearance. Come on. I know you are all sitting on vast libraries of my work. And if you're missing a show or three, just let Keith Olbermann's Ego know. Of course, The Ego has almost every single second of the The Ego's oh-so-fabulous career documented and preserved for posterity. The Ego knows that one day this library will serve as a guidepost and a roadmap for aspiring journalists everywhere as of course, Keith Olbermann is the greatest journalist who has ever lived or who will ever live. That's why The Ego gets paid the big bucks.

The Ego bids you all sweet adieu til our paths cross again (after the holidays) and leaves you with this musical selection from my Ipod as an early Christmas present:

Monday, December 22, 2008

Reasons why I hate the LA Times

As if Keith Olbermann's ego needed any additional reasons to hate the LA Times there's there alleged media "critic" hating on the greatness that is Keith Olbermann. She actually had the audacity to claim that Keith Olbermann was one of the worst things in television this year.
Keith Olbermann at the Democratic convention (MSNBC). We've been wondering where the line between anchor and pundit was drawn these days. With his harangues, rants, instant analyses and general boorishness, Olbermann found it, crossed it and was sent down.
At least Bill O'Reilly and Sarah Palin made the list too.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Tommy Lee, Pam Anderson, Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick?

The Sporting News claims that Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann had one of the greatest "bromances" in sports. True that. But the comparison to Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson?
Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick. The Tommy Lee and Pamala Anderson of bromances, their brotherhood blossomed on the set of SportsCenter in the mid-90s. The two even co-authored a book called “The Big Show,” the catch-phrase they shared on screen to describe ESPN’s hallmark program. But it didn’t last. The bromance fizzled when Keith left in ’97. Later, Dan would move on to SI. But now the two have been reunited once more to rekindle the bromance on NBC’s “Football Night in America.” Like Pam and Tommy, this second go around likely won’t last either. At least they’ll always have “en fuego.”
Well if they say so. But Keith Olbermann's Ego totally gets to be Tommy Lee if you know what the Ego is trying to say.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Keith Olbermann NOT marriage material?

Keith Olbermann's Ego is very pleased to read today that journalists are considered to be amongst the least "eligible" in the marriage market.
It really does pay to be a doctor, with an international survey showing the medical profession is the most trusted, among the most admired and includes the most eligible marriage partners. By contrast, actors and musicians, along with journalists and advertisers, were among professionals that people trusted the least, and were also least likely to choose a partner from, according to a survey by Synovate, the market research arm of Aegis Group plc.

Whew. Thank God for surveys like this. It gets The Ego off the hook for having to marry ole' Katy (and she is getting older by the minute). And I've got double the excuse now too since Katy is employed as a journalist too, this survey proves that we are both miserable marriage material. (And trust The Ego, if I did get married I would be miserable). So now I can spend all that money I'd have to spend waste on an engagement ring on what I really want to spend it on anyway: baseball cards. A man has to have priorities right?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Keith Olbermann and a 17-year old?

Keith Olbermann's Ego would never touch a 17-year old. But 18? 18's legal in all 50 states right?

But Katy Tur was actually 23 when Keith Olbermann's Nymphet-Loving Ego moved her into the "Love Shack" so it's all legal got it?

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Keith Olbermann would never do coke

Keith Olbermann's Ego would never do a line of coke off of a baby's head. But The Ego will add these idiots at Red Eye are my List. Who watches these idiots anyway? The show comes on at like 4 am in the morning. Who's awake at that hour anyway except me and my crazy legs?

Sorry that this vid came from the creeps at Olbermannwatch but it was the only one The Ego could find at Youttube.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Keith Olbermann is not Jesus Christ

Sure Keith Olbermann has a massive ego. I mean come on, The Ego has it's own blog! But never, ever (not yet anyway) has The Ego compared himself to Jesus Christ. Bill O'Reilly is truly the gift that keeps on giving isn't he?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

When Giant Chin Meets Gigantic Ego

so says Jossip. Hmmm. Which one am I again?

Financial troubles? Not me!

So apparently the mothership at NBC is having a bit of a financial squeeze. And apparently the network has booted people like Kevin Corke and Bob Faw. And Don Teague & Mark Mullen and 498 other people.

But Keith Olbermann's Ego? Sitting on 30 million over the next 4 years baby! No financial woes for me as I chill in my Park Avenue pad with my 20-something babe beside me. And you know why? Because the Ego is worth every single penny.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Rachel Maddow is one of the smartest people in TV?

That's what Entertainment Weekly says. Seriously, WTF? Keith Olbermann's Ego is the Smartest kid in the big ole' hall that is television. But what does this piece o'crap magazine say about Maddow instead of the Ego?
SMART BECAUSE The Air America radio vet guest-hosted for Keith Olbermann in April; by September she had her own show, bringing an intellectually progressive bent to the cable-news talking-head cacophony, as encapsulated by her tagline, ''Mind over chatter.'' Bonus smart points to MSNBC president Phil Griffin for using talent like Maddow and Olbermann to help define the network's point of view; Maddow rewarded his faith by doubling the audience for MSNBC's 
9 p.m. time slot.
Phil Griffin for using talent like Maddow and Olbermann? I thought we'd been through this point before. Phil Griffin is my bitch. He doesn't have a clue as to what to say or do unless I tell him what to say or to do. Just think of him as having The Ego's hand up his ass like a ventriloquist's dummy and you get the picture. Clearly however, Entertainment Weekly does NOT.

Rachel Maddow was Keith Olbermann's discovery not Phil's. Rachel Maddow has a job because of Keith Olbermann, not Phil Griffin. Rachel Maddow has an agent because of Keith Olbermann (and being the genius that is Keith Olbermann's Ego, that agent is ole Keith's long-time agent who always remembers to look out for KO first-as it should be). So in short, EW is so stupid they don't even have the sense to put Keith Olbermann on their smartest list. Keith Olbermann should have been numbers 1-25 on that damned list. Even the damn harpies from The View were on the list but not Keith Olbermann. Don't they know that Keith Olbermann graduated from high school at 16? Don't they know that the genius that is Keith Olbermann never went to class and still earned a degree from an Ivy League school? Don't they know that Keith Olbermann runs his own damn network? This may require one of my very Special Comments (note to self: write angry diatribe against EW for next week's show).

Smartest people on TV huh? I've got a list of the dumbest magazines in the world right here. Guess who is at #1 stupidest magazine? Entertainment Weekly. And #2-25? Yep, you got it: Entertainment Weekly. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. But not Keith Olbermann. Keith Olbermann is a genius (no matter what some stupid "entertainment" magazine says). And don't ever forget that Keith Olbermann is a genius or else, got it people?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Keith Olbermann is Sean Hannity?

So now that Bush has 49 days left in office, Fox News is no longer the mouthpiece of the Republican administration. So who is to fill that massive void? Why Keith Olbermann's Massive Ego of course! Jon Stewart lays down the parallels between the new (MSNBC) and the Faux (the Fixed News network). But honestly Jon, The best comparison you can find for the greatness that is Keith Olbermann is the very mediocre and not very smart Sean Hannity? Sean Hannity? It wounds Jon. It really wounds.
"Hannity and Olbermann: "Partisan ideologue who fears for the world if it's in any way touched by the hands of his political enemies"
Fear is too strong of a word Jon. The word is really "hate". But what the hell, at least people now recognize MSKONBC. So Keith Olbermann's Ego gets the last laugh after all.