These Guys Have all the Fun Indeed

So there's much buzz about this new book on ESPN. And as this exerpt proves, The greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego was living large and in charge back in the day (BTW this exerpt should also prove to some of the fanboyz and girlz out there that the Ego doesn't just quote Shakespeare but also has a working vocabulary that most certainly incorporates quite a few four-letter words). But if you really want to know where and how the Ego got his smooth moves with the ladies you have to look at the book's outtakes. First there is the epic story of The Ego's old high school buddy Chris Berman.

And this charming little anecdote reveals the true meaning of Play Ball!

Good to see the traditions still continue to this very day at ESPN too.

Sure GQ has a warning that these aren't true but come on you know their lawyers just made them say that right?

Which is bigger?

You know the only thing bigger than Keith Olbermann's moustache back in the day? That's right, The Ego!

Head Clown in the Circus

The AP hasn't had a good year. Their political and tv writers are idiots who don't get the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego but they called it right in this profile of my ole' high school non-chum and later ESPN co-worker, Chris Berman. The fat idiot is so dumb he couldn't figure out how to get out of ESPN like most of the rest of us talented ones did. Let's face it, the greatest days of ESPN were when The Ego and his butt boy Dan Patrick ruled SportsCenter. It's been in decline since the day The Ego left.

"He could have become the sage voice at ESPN by now, a voice of maturity, credibility and wisdom," New York Post columnist Phil Mushnick said. "Instead, he's the voice that does the imitation of Chris Berman. He's the head clown in the circus over there."

Love it. Although I think it's safer to say that Berman is the circus and ESPN are the clowns. Those guys never got the greatness that is The Ego either.

Songs from Keith Olbermann's Ego's IPod

I'd actually like this song a whole lot more if it was about me. But still, this fine band had the foresight and wisdom to put me in their musical video. And who is that guy sitting beside me? I have no idea.

Bigger than the Beatles.

Who were bigger than God. Do I really need to say more? Love the Times. Just Love Them.

With Election Day two months away, Olbermann said he was not worried about Obama and John McCain taking control of his heart and mind. He said: “The key thing is that half the season, plus the playoffs, is after the election. So it’ll get a little busy until the games, of, what Nov. 9? After that I start taking a lot of Fridays off. He added, “Plus, they got me this assistant guy, Dan What’s-His-Name.”

Dan thinks I was kidding with that quote. I wasn't. Seriously I wasn't. Dan free up some time around December okay? I've got some Christmas Shopping I need you to do.

Olbermann said, “On the radio show, I literally could walk in at 2 p.m., talk to him for 30 seconds about where he wanted to go in terms of topics, and we’d do our best work.” He added, “The only true effort is opening our mouths.”

Really I never prepare. I'm busy on Ebay dammit. Do you think I've got time to prepare for a stupid one-hour radio show? I was literally phoning it in. I'm not working any extra time that I don't have to.

“All I told Dick,” Patrick said, referring to Dick Ebersol, the chairman of NBC Sports, “is just leave our mics open. Leave everybody’s mics open, and if something strikes Tiki or Bob or Cris or Jerome; if you see something, say something.”

Yeah Dan. About that. I'm making an executive ruling here (and I do indeed rule. Don't forget it.) that there will be no open mikes at FNIA. That didn't work out so great for me or MSNBC at the DNC.