Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Look at me! I'm in HD!

Now for your viewing enjoyment, the greatness that is Keith Olbermann will be available in HD. If you don't have HD, run right out now and buy the biggest large screen HD that you can afford. No, wait, Go out and buy the biggest large screen HD that you can't afford because honestly, Keith Olbermann is so worth it.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Now this is more like it!

As we all know, Keith Olbermann's Ego loves the love. Specifically, when people love Keith Olbermann. And this diarist at Kos gets it. God bless 'em. The rest of you? Get busy. I want to see lots more fawning. And fast. And fawning. Did I mention the fawning?

Friday, June 26, 2009

Right wingers are mounting attacks on Keith Olbermann at Daily Kos

It's true. Because Keith Olbermann sez so right here. The right-wing are disguising themselves as liberals to post on Daily Kos and criticze the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.
There's nothing better for the lunatic fringe when a Mark Sanford hits an iceberg, than to throw up some phony Liberal-on-Liberal-Violence sabotage chaff in front of the torpedos headed towards a Republican-In-Crisis.
How dare the try to make Mark Sanford's affair Keith Olbermann's fault! And on Daily Kos of all places? Don't they know that Daily Kos is the approved conduit for all fan worship of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann?
I preface this by saying, got a complaint about me, go ahead. Diarize, comment, whatever (actually those first two are your only choices - there is no 'whatever').
See? Keith Olbermann lays it all out for you right there. Comment or write a diary about him but just don't ignore him. The Ego you know, needs a lot of love.
Again, no request for amnesty, agreement, criticism-free zones, or universal love is implied here.
That's right. Keith Olbermann's Ego isn't requesting. He's issuing an edict. And Keith Olbermann's Ego must always, always be obeyed, especially at Daily Kos.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Congratulations to Joe Scarborough!

In a rare moment of honesty this morning, Joe Scarborough revealed that he is a hypocrite. I mean who else could he have possibly been talking about when he uttered this on "Morning Joe" (brought to you by Starbucks Coffee)?
JOE SCARBOROUGH: Obviously [Sanford] needs to be judged in the toughest sense politically, but personally, I'll just be blunt, I was embarrassed by certain cable news hosts last night, some on this network, that took, and the only expression you can really use is "unbridled glee" in this man's problem and the pain of his wife, the pain of his children. During the John Edwards situation and others, I never really understood the kind of glee that people took last night. It happens on the left, it happens on the right. And some of these people judging last night, you know, you could call them the Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker of cable news. I would not be making judgments were I these people.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

You might be obsessed with Keith Olbermann's Ego.......

How to tell you might be obsessed with Keith Olbermann:

1. You regularly watch Yankees Games AND:

a) You watch the Yankees Games in hopes that you might catch a glimpse of The Ego living large in the Legends seating area
b) You know exactly where his seats are at
c) You record all the games and watch them back in slow mo just to make sure you didn't miss a glimpse of Keith
d) You had absolutely zero interest in baseball before you became a KO fan
e) You're now a regular poster at the Baseball Nerd and can recite league standings and bullshit hold forth on inside baseball topics that would bore even Keith Olbermann

2. You watch Countdown every night AND

a) You watch both the first air of Countdown and the replay
b) You record every episode of Countdown
c) You watch them back the next day even if you saw both eps the night before
d) You pleasure yourself while watching the show

3. You know Keith Olbermann lives in NYC AND

a) You know the building name and address
b) You know the apartment #
c) You know the purchase price
d) You downloaded photos of the place and a copy of the floorplan from the realtor's webpage
d) You downloaded PDF copies of info about his apartment(s) from the NYC property database
e) You can also recite his last three addresses--by heart

But you might actually BE Keith Olbermann if you troll the internet night and day looking for mention of your name

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Why does everyone say "Narcissistic" like it's a bad thing?

Keith Olbermann's Ego is very unhappy that these psychiatrists and psychologists and wanna-be media "personalities" see being a narcissist like it's a bad thing. The Ego will not be taking this test but if the Ego did, he's sure he'd score at the top of the scale because as everyone knows, Keith Olbermann's Ego is a genius.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Et tu Daily Kos?

Keith Olbermann's Ego is just going to ignore this.
I can predict almost exactly what I will hear Keith yelling and grumbling about until ... the MSNBC stage is mercifully ceded to the incomparable Rachel Maddow....Item #5 will always be on the biggest news item of the day: makes sense, no arguments there. But it goes downhill from there. Item #4 will be about the latest baseless talking-point turd laid by Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney's irrelevant daughter, or some other cranky obsolete conservative on Fox or one of the Sunday morning talk shows. An "expert" will come on and fervently agree with Keith that this cranky obsolete conservative is an asshole and should go to hell. Then comes Oddball, which is sometimes funny and other times just, well, odd (there's truth in advertising there, at least). Items #3 and #2 will be pretty much repeats of Item #4, with the names of the cranky conservative and the baseless talking point changed (a different "expert" will also be used, to make it clear that, yes, lots of people think these cranky conservatives are assholes and should go to hell). Finally, there's item #1, which in recent weeks has often been the "WTF Moment", which usually highlights -- you guessed it! -- the latest baseless political turd laid by a cranky obsolete conservative.
However Keith Olbermann's Ego would really appreciate it if you'd take a stroll over to Daily Kos and kick that stupid poll this idiot has posted over there. No Keith Olbermann has NOT lost it. Also, feel free to post undying praise and devotion to The Ego. You know how important that is to Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

This Woman Thinks She's a Big Fan of Keith Olbermann's?

So this chick Cynthia Boaz, thinks she's a big fan of Keith Olbermann? Keith Olbermann's Ego begs to differ.
Although it has been several weeks since Keith Olbermann has used his MSNBC show as a platform to call for the public water boarding of fellow commentator Sean Hannity of the Fox News Channel, my concerns about Olbermann's former campaign have not diminished, and this pains me because I'm a big fan of his. But in the interest of media accountability, someone needs to point out to Olbermann that on this issue, he has been nearly as exploitative and irresponsible as his colleague on the right.
It pains her? Not nearly so much as it pains The Ego as having to read her drivel which actually dares to question the wisdom and genius that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. If this chick was as "big of a fan" as she claims to be she would know that Rule #1 of being a fan of Keith Olbermann's Ego is that a true Keith Olbermann fan never, ever, ever dares question his judgement or actions, no matter what.
Olbermann's hypocrisy on the issue of torture confounds me. By calling-pushing, even-for the water boarding of his rival talk-show host Sean Hannity (who, in a moment of exceptional foolishness volunteered to be water boarded in order to demonstrate that it's "not that bad"), Olbermann gave away the moral high ground on this issue, undermined his otherwise unassailable argument against torture, and trivialized the very thing he wants us all to take so seriously. I would go so far as to say he's "normalized" it, if the ability of Olbermann supporters to twist themselves into logical and moral knots in defense of his campaign is any indication.
Of course I want them to twist themselves into logical and moral knots in defending The Ego. That's what my fans are there for: to date defend The Ego. That's Rule #2 for all fans of Keith Olbermann's Ego: defend the Ego no matter what.
While the outward message on Olbermann's part is "torture is never acceptable", the meta-message is "torture is never acceptable, except when I say so (or when I say it's not really torture)." It's a slippery slope.
Psst: Cynthia: Check out Rule #1 for being a Keith Olbermann fan. Anyway, she blathers on and on and on about Martin Luther King and Hannity (whoever thought The Ego would use those two names in the same sentence?) and ratings and who knows what else. Quite frankly The Ego grew very bored with Ms. Boaz's boring diatribe. Something about her expecting more from The Ego etc. etc. etc. Quite frankly Ms. Boaz Keith Olbermann's Ego expects much much more from his fans and would appreciate it if Ms. Boaz would do a careful review of the Rules for Keith Olberamnn fans and adhere to them from this point in time on. Now fans what is rule #3? That's right. Rule #3 is make your support for The Ego evident by posting diatribes against Ms. Boaz at Huffington Post and then proceed to either Daily Kos or your nearest blog or website to express your undying devotion and support of the Ego no matter what. As it should be.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Keith Olbermann really really really likes Donald Trump

Keith Olbermann's Ego really really really likes Donald Trump. Or at least buying apartments in Trump's buildings. First it was the ultra-luxurious Trump Palace condo with the wrap-around balconies and the fabulous views that The Ego shelled out for in 2007. Now the Ego has decided to buy a smaller place in the same building. Because the Ego needs a lot of room to stash his extra lady friends his baseball collection. Or something. And the Ego even got a deal on the place.

David Letterman vs. Sarah Palin

Hey Dave--Keith Olbermann's Ego has your back on this whole Palin mess. Boycot you? Never. Let's just imagine for a moment what a Palin vice-presidency would have been like shall we?

I got nothing.

It's a slow news cycle for The Ego. It's the summer. What do you expect? So The Ego would like to take this opportunity to remind you to get yourselves over to the Baseball Nerd and vote each and every post of Keith Olbermann's Ego as highly as possible in an attempt to show your utter love and devotion to The Ego. But hey, I'm throwing in a bonus pic of The Ego so what are you complaining about? Now get busy and go spread love and cheer and all that good stuff about The Ego out there on the internets.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Sweet! Awesome! Katy Tur Sees A Tornado!

Okay Katy Tur's Ego has seen a tornado now. Can I come home now? Where is Keith's agent my agent? I want a sweet deal just like Katie Couric has. No, wait, I want Katie Couric's job. I mean we have the same name and everything. And I bet Katie Couric has never been hit in the head by a hailstone. And Katy Tur's Ego is much, much, much younger and way cuter. And Katy Tur knows how to use words like sweet and awesome. So agent person. Get busy. Negotiate my new anchor deal immediately. What do you think Keith I'm paying you for? I've paid my dues dammit! Katy Tur's Ego has been out in an old beat up car for almost a month now with sweaty, smelly nerdy guys (who aren't even rich like Keith's Ego is). Not to mention the past two years living with The Ego. I deserved an anchor job for that one alone. So I've been up close and personal with a tornado. Now I'm ready to be a star!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Never mind the ratings, let's go to the movies!

Keith Olbermann's Ego is not loving the ratings for May. So instead, let's go to the movies. This looks like the feel-good flick of the year to me.

Monday, June 1, 2009

It's Special Comment Night

And to the trolls at this blog, The Ego has a very special message for you too: