So about a month ago, this idiot at Inside Cable News decides he'll run a not-so-blind item.
Which cable news show may be showing signs of internal trouble? Rumors are flying that the show’s EP has “had it” and another key staffer is leaving the program…
The Ego would like to point out that the denizens of said blog mostly guessed Beck.
But today the little bitch reveals on twitter that it was the Ego he was referring to all along and hints broadly that there is a real story there if one wishes to dig deep enough. Attn: Mr. ICN: it's 2010--no one does investigative journalism anymore, it's dead, dead, dead and if it's such a good story why don't you break it your own damn self? Oh and here's what the SOB is citing as "proof" that blind item was about the Ego. So the Ego's EP, Izzy Povich is leaving. Like the Ego cares?
And of course Dan Abrams and his shitty little site are there to blame the Ego too.
Remember Keith Olbermann Fans: These bitches are all just jealous of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. They aren't Kings of Broadcast Journalism like Keith Olbermann, they are a bunch of mice who run blogs. Jealous, bitter, little mice. Never, ever believe anything that these idiots have to say about the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego--unless of course it happens to be true. And if it's true and flattering, believe away but if it's true and not-so-flattering, it's always lies-got it? Good. Nothing to see here, move on people; the Ego has.
Oh and that crap on TVNewser about more than one person leaving the Ego's show because of the Ego? Lies, all lies. Except you know, the parts that are true.
And no, this had nothing to do with the Ego's two-week vacation (and even if it did, the Ego would never, ever admit it). Remember people, there is a reason all three of those websites are on the Ego's enemies list.
Yes, the Ego-Twit is up and out of there. Except you know, for the post he made 16 hours after he announced he was leaving. So leaving equals overnight. Apparently there was fan-drama involving spelling/grammar usage, a fan who organized some sort of Mom boycott, and a 12-year old boy. The Ego really doesn't have time to dive into the particulars. I'm sure however that the minions will be more than happy to fill in the details, it's their job after all to hang on the Ego Twit's every tweet, as it should be.
Which is why Keith Olbermann's Ego has denounced Daily Kos and left it in protest after a mean commenter made him cry made him angry. Of course Gawker is having a field day with this. Now the Ego demands that all Keith Olbermann fans immediately leave Daily Kos in protest (btw, the Ego loves the mash notes supporters are leaving on DK begging him to return).
A new post. And this time you get to vote on your favorite Keith Olbermann Twitter Stalker. Now we know that the Ego-Twit likes to complain about his stalkers but come on, let's get real here. That's Egospeak for "I check my @KeithOlbermann every day to see just how adoring and sycophantic my fans truly are." Because as we know, that's how the Ego loves it. So vote for your favorite Ego-Twit stalker. Will it be the sweet but desperate Donna? The very busy NightOwl? Or someone else whose obsession has escaped the Ego's attention? Sadly, the Ego himself is not eligible for this competition (because as we know, the Ego is the Ego's biggest fan--as it should be).
As a public service announcement, Keith Olbermann's Ego sends this out to his crazy, cat-loving fans. Yeah, the Ego knows your out there. You and all 97 of your crazy cats. Let this serve as a warning to you all. Also, a reminder that Keith Olbermann's Ego is very allergic to cats. And dogs. But that doesn't mean he still doesn't love pussy...cats.
especially those that Keith Olbermann's Ego might also love (or you know, whatever) in the past/present/future. Yeah, I'm talking to you Katy, and you Donna, and you Misha, Kellie, Janx, and my favorite black kitty-kat, Jean, Shannyn, Cynthia, and Rachel (No, not that Rachel). And any other woman with a spectacular rack whose name begins with A-Z that the Ego might have overlooked and will friend in the future. Let the games begin. Today is Opening Day at Yankee Stadium. And there is nothing the Ego loves more than ball season, (which if you're the Ego is every season if you catch my drift). Let the Games begin! The Ego is a free man once again and what he loves most of all is his freedom. And you know, hot chicks.
And yes, even you, Martha Stewart. You look pretty good still for a super old broad.
Over the weekend Keith Olbermann's Ego has been doing a lot of thinking. In fact, the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego is thinking of giving up this blog.
Really, what's the point when Keith Olbermann's real Ego is on full display for the World to see over on Twitter?
The real Ego seems to be having a grand old time. And why wouldn't The Ego be happy? Look at all that fawning by fan girls (including the old, ugly ones), political nerds, fellow celebs, and other devotees and admirers. And by now, you all know that there's nothing that the Ego loves more than fawning. Lots and Lots of fawning. The more, the better. Particularly when they are from attractive, young, and willing females. Why The Ego even likes attention from his exes.
So this Ego is really pondering the need to continue on with this Blog in light of the real Keith Olbermann's Ego's newfound embrace of all things Twitter and of course Ego. And hot chicks. Lots of hot chicks.
Dear fan girls and potential stalkers. Keith Olbermann's Ego now has a Twitter page. Please feel free to direct message the Ego if you're under the age of 25, very attractive, and ready to rock the Ego's world. Those interested in using The Ego to advance their own career need not bother. And no neo-cons either. Unless, you know, you're really hot and of course, under 25.
Keith Olbermann's Ego would like to offer up some advice for my buddy, David Letterman. Dude, next time don't sleep with your staffers. Do as the Ego does and sleep with fans instead. Avoids all those nasty sexual harassment issues.
Why does Glenn Greenwald hate Keith Olbermann's Ego? How can he call himself a liberal and attack Keith Olbermann? These are very important questions and I'm glad to see that so many of The Ego's fans have decided to grill Greenwald on these very important issues. He's now done a 2nd update on his tired column from yesterday. And he references an "addendum" that David Sirota did in his blog about moi. Good job driving both of them crazy (keep it up).
Some people seem incapable of understanding the significance here. It's really not complicated. It's a major breach of journalistic freedom -- and a serious and
blah blah blah blah. Yeah uh huh. We got you the first 97 times you said that. They don't care Glenn. It's the Ego they love, no matter what, as it should be of course.
I suppose if one finds the issue of corporate control of journalism to be unimportant, then one will find Olbermann's statements unimportant -- but that's about the only view that could justify that reaction.
That's what you think buddy. These people love, love, love the Ego. And nothing you say or do is going to change that, not even the truth lies you people keep spinning about the ego, nor, hee hee, The Ego's statement admitting that nothing you had written was "factually inaccurate". (Psst: The Ego released that statement just to drive Greenwald into hyper-drive. He knows it, I admitted it, and there's nothing he can do about the nasty comments piling up at Salon. The Ego loves it!).
Nothing is more irrelevant to the discussion than whether one "likes" Keith Olbermann or enjoys watching him on the TV. That would be relevant if the topic were: "Who are your favorite TV stars?" But that's not the topic being discussed here. I suppose one could say (as some are arguing in Comments) that one should refrain from ever covering a story that might reflect poorly on anyone who has the same political views as you do; that's the view that led most Republicans to justify everything George Bush did (he's on our side; why criticize him?). But I hope nobody reading this blog expects that sentiment to prevail here (truth-telling and ethical obligations are only for Fox News and Republicans).
LOL. That's what you think Greenwald. The fans obviously feel much differently about this. And who's most important? That's right: The Ego. Oh and his fans.
David Sirota is feeling the love too. It lead to this little shit fit over at his blog that no one would bother reading if it weren't for Keith Olbermann's Ego.
And so I'll just conclude by saying this: You may like Keith Olbermann (as I do), but if your love of Keith Olbermann makes you refuse to defend/demand respect for independent journalism, then you ought to consider how fucked up your value system really is. Loyalty to an individual over loyalty to principles is the definition of cultism. MSNBC partisans insisting that we should ignore General Electric's manipulation of the news out of deference to Keith Olbermann's supposedly infallible awesomeness are at best being intellectually dishonest, and at worst endorsing in precisely the kind of propagandistic pro-censorship sycophancy that is at the heart of this scandal.
Look David (and Glenn and the rest of you): NO ONE CARES. And the Ego loves that they don't care. The only thing that matters to them is the love they feel for Keith Olbermann. What could be more beautiful? Truth, honesty, integrity, journalistic principles, yada yada yada yada, blah blah blah blah. Who cares? Here's what's really important here: Keith Olbermann's Ego. As it should be.
This is just too easy sometimes. Why it's almost like taking Candy from babies. Keith Olbermann's Ego loves his fans. You wanna know why? They aren't that great with critical thinking skills. For example, they don't notice patterns at all. Patterns you say? What are these patterns that The Ego speaks of? Watch and learn my friends, watch and learn.
Step 1: Someone prints or posts a negative story about Keith Olbermann's Ego.
Step 2: The Ego immediately takes to either the airwaves or Daily Kos (or both) to brand the person who wrote it as someone who has it out for him (Example: Lloyd Grove (NY Post, The Daily Beast), Brian Stelter (The NY Times), Dan Abram's Mediaite.
Step 3: For good measure, attack the venue where the attack appeared (Examples: The New York Times, The Post, the Daily News (and going back to the old days, the LA Times), Gawker, Cityfile, Wonkette, etc., etc.,
Step 4: Go to Kos, post a diary offering a very special, special comment or some sort of "must-see TV" to pump the ratings. Even if the special comment isn't necessarily related to the attack from these vicious people who all hate the Ego, look, the fans will still tune in and pump up the Ego's ratings. The Ego loves ratings you know. And Daily Kos.
Step 5: Go on Countdown and deliver WPITW awards, offer up a very special, special comment. Drives the attacker wild (and the fans believe every word, it's a win-win for The Ego).
Step 6: Sit back and laugh. Really, it's too easy. Look at yesterday: it was a beautiful thing to see. Did you notice how Keith Olbermann's Ego piled upon young Brian and the NY Times? Brian has been one of The Ego's biggest supporters since he was still in college and ran the then-CableNewser. And the NY Times? The NY Times loves my ass. Oh right, revionist thinking: they hate the Ego! Yes, that's right, the Times is now an enemy of Keith Olbermann. So what if four sources either with MSNBC or Fox told the NY Times that the deal happened? It did not happen! I mean really, who are you going to believe? The Ego or the NY Times and the statements from corporate stooges? Right! The Ego is always, always right. And so what that The Ego didn't bother mentioning O'Reilly from June 1st to August 3rd, whatever would give anyone the idea there was a deal? You got it! Because The Ego told them so! See what I mean? Easy as pie.
Step 7: This is Keith Olbermann's Ego's favorite step. You see, my fans are so IQ challenged loyal and faithful any future stories an organization writes about The Ego will also be immediately discredited as being false since the writer or website/paper, etc. has already been discredited by the Ego for printing the truth lies about him in the past! And when you throw in a dead person, or two, why the fans have no choice whatsoever to doubt that The Ego is telling anything but 100% of the truth. I mean come on. The deal non-existing deal between MSNBC and Fox News was made at the end of May. It was just a coincidence that The Ego never mentioned Bill-O's name once between June 1st and August 3rd. Nope, no deal whatsoever. Never happened (because that's what The Ego said happened (or didn't happen), it didn't happen (even if it did).
What? You don't think The Ego would ever do such a thing? Trust me, it happens.
And The Ego wants you to know he applies these steps at work too. Why just yesterday The Ego had MSNBC prez (and longtime KO bitch friend) Phil Griffin speak to the Countdown staff and explain to them, in detail why there was no deal and it was all about "tone". Truthfully? The Countdown staff aren't the brighest people in the world either. I mean they were right there over the past two months and presumably noticed what we were covering and not covering. But they still needed Phil to come down and explain what didn't happen because you know, they're dumb. And you know why they are dumb? Because The Ego told you they were!
See how easy it is? And you know why it's easy for Keith Olbermann's Ego? Because Keith Olbermann's Ego is a freaking genius that's why people! The Ego tells people what the Truth is (according to Keith Olbermann) and it's true! Or isn't true, whatever the case might be and whatever approach is most flattering for The Ego. And people believe it. What could be better than that? I'm a GOD people. A God! And don't you ever forget it!
Now please excuse the Ego, it's time for some pie.
And at the suggestion of Marcia X 3: please enjoy the musical stylings of Steely Dan and their version of Pretzel Logic (which naturally is not as good as Keith Olbermann's Ego's version).
Ratings. Who cares about them? Not Keith Olbermann's Ego (except when some A-hole points out Countdown's ratings). You know, like this guy.
MSNBC's Keith Olbermann took offense to a post I wrote Saturday that referred to him as "slumping." He didn't dispute any of the facts in my piece, he just went on the attack with his usual innuendo, slurs and bombast over my characterization of his performance in the ratings.
Innuendo, slurs, and bombast? Who the hell is this idiot describing? Bill O'Reilly? And this idiot has the nerve to link to some right-wing loving website with obviously flawed data concerning The Ego's ratings. Well as we know there are lies, damn lies, and then there are statistics. And The Ego never ever pays attentions to things like statistics. Because they lie. Alot.
That being said Keith Olbermann's Ego would like to say a special word of thanks to the many minions who went to this idiot's website and complained bitterly about his maligning of The Ego. Of course, the Ego expects no less from his minions.
As we all know, Keith Olbermann's Ego loves the love. Specifically, when people love Keith Olbermann. And this diarist at Kos gets it. God bless 'em. The rest of you? Get busy. I want to see lots more fawning. And fast. And fawning. Did I mention the fawning?
How to tell you might be obsessed with Keith Olbermann:
1. You regularly watch Yankees Games AND:
a) You watch the Yankees Games in hopes that you might catch a glimpse of The Ego living large in the Legends seating area b) You know exactly where his seats are at c) You record all the games and watch them back in slow mo just to make sure you didn't miss a glimpse of Keith d) You had absolutely zero interest in baseball before you became a KO fan e) You're now a regular poster at the Baseball Nerd and can recite league standings and bullshit hold forth on inside baseball topics that would bore even Keith Olbermann
2. You watch Countdown every night AND
a) You watch both the first air of Countdown and the replay b) You record every episode of Countdown c) You watch them back the next day even if you saw both eps the night before d) You pleasure yourself while watching the show
3. You know Keith Olbermann lives in NYC AND
a) You know the building name and address b) You know the apartment # c) You know the purchase price d) You downloaded photos of the place and a copy of the floorplan from the realtor's webpage d) You downloaded PDF copies of info about his apartment(s) from the NYC property database e) You can also recite his last three addresses--by heart
But you might actually BE Keith Olbermann if you troll the internet night and day looking for mention of your name
Keith Olbermann's Ego is just going to ignore this.
I can predict almost exactly what I will hear Keith yelling and grumbling about until ... the MSNBC stage is mercifully ceded to the incomparable Rachel Maddow....Item #5 will always be on the biggest news item of the day: makes sense, no arguments there. But it goes downhill from there. Item #4 will be about the latest baseless talking-point turd laid by Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney's irrelevant daughter, or some other cranky obsolete conservative on Fox or one of the Sunday morning talk shows. An "expert" will come on and fervently agree with Keith that this cranky obsolete conservative is an asshole and should go to hell. Then comes Oddball, which is sometimes funny and other times just, well, odd (there's truth in advertising there, at least). Items #3 and #2 will be pretty much repeats of Item #4, with the names of the cranky conservative and the baseless talking point changed (a different "expert" will also be used, to make it clear that, yes, lots of people think these cranky conservatives are assholes and should go to hell). Finally, there's item #1, which in recent weeks has often been the "WTF Moment", which usually highlights -- you guessed it! -- the latest baseless political turd laid by a cranky obsolete conservative.
However Keith Olbermann's Ego would really appreciate it if you'd take a stroll over to Daily Kos and kick that stupid poll this idiot has posted over there. No Keith Olbermann has NOT lost it. Also, feel free to post undying praise and devotion to The Ego. You know how important that is to Keith Olbermann's Ego.
So this chick Cynthia Boaz, thinks she's a big fan of Keith Olbermann? Keith Olbermann's Ego begs to differ.
Although it has been several weeks since Keith Olbermann has used his MSNBC show as a platform to call for the public water boarding of fellow commentator Sean Hannity of the Fox News Channel, my concerns about Olbermann's former campaign have not diminished, and this pains me because I'm a big fan of his. But in the interest of media accountability, someone needs to point out to Olbermann that on this issue, he has been nearly as exploitative and irresponsible as his colleague on the right.
It pains her? Not nearly so much as it pains The Ego as having to read her drivel which actually dares to question the wisdom and genius that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. If this chick was as "big of a fan" as she claims to be she would know that Rule #1 of being a fan of Keith Olbermann's Ego is that a true Keith Olbermann fan never, ever, ever dares question his judgement or actions, no matter what.
Olbermann's hypocrisy on the issue of torture confounds me. By calling-pushing, even-for the water boarding of his rival talk-show host Sean Hannity (who, in a moment of exceptional foolishness volunteered to be water boarded in order to demonstrate that it's "not that bad"), Olbermann gave away the moral high ground on this issue, undermined his otherwise unassailable argument against torture, and trivialized the very thing he wants us all to take so seriously. I would go so far as to say he's "normalized" it, if the ability of Olbermann supporters to twist themselves into logical and moral knots in defense of his campaign is any indication.
Of course I want them to twist themselves into logical and moral knots in defending The Ego. That's what my fans are there for: to date defend The Ego. That's Rule #2 for all fans of Keith Olbermann's Ego: defend the Ego no matter what.
While the outward message on Olbermann's part is "torture is never acceptable", the meta-message is "torture is never acceptable, except when I say so (or when I say it's not really torture)." It's a slippery slope.
Psst: Cynthia: Check out Rule #1 for being a Keith Olbermann fan. Anyway, she blathers on and on and on about Martin Luther King and Hannity (whoever thought The Ego would use those two names in the same sentence?) and ratings and who knows what else. Quite frankly The Ego grew very bored with Ms. Boaz's boring diatribe. Something about her expecting more from The Ego etc. etc. etc. Quite frankly Ms. Boaz Keith Olbermann's Ego expects much much more from his fans and would appreciate it if Ms. Boaz would do a careful review of the Rules for Keith Olberamnn fans and adhere to them from this point in time on. Now fans what is rule #3? That's right. Rule #3 is make your support for The Ego evident by posting diatribes against Ms. Boaz at Huffington Post and then proceed to either Daily Kos or your nearest blog or website to express your undying devotion and support of the Ego no matter what. As it should be.
