Friday, October 31, 2008

Live from New York: It's ME ME ME ME!

More evidence of how important Keith Olbermann truly is: his very own parody on Saturday Night Live.
Ben Affleck, who’s hosting “Saturday Night Live” this week, was rehearsing a skit this afternoon mocking Keith Olbermann when Olbermann himself got past security to watch, according to a source with knowledge of the incident. A source described the skit as “savage,” in portraying Olbermann as a deranged person living at home with his mother. Affleck, said a source, became uneasy with Olbermann in attendance at the 3 p.m., closed-set rehearsal. But Olbermann, through a spokesman, was complimentary on his first time being mocked on "SNL" — a position his MSNBC colleague Chris Matthews has been in over the years.
“I’m not Sarah Palin,” Olbermann said. “I know how valuable it is to me. And it’s funny."
Okay actually? The Ego isn't too happy to know he's being mocked but is more thrilled to know that he is known.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Obama should have picked Keith Olbermann as his running mate

Seriously--have you seen these ratings? People watched the moving and inspiring 30-minute Obama special and do you know what they did then? They all changed their channels to watch the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. See-if only Obama had chosen Keith Olbermann instead of Joe Biden as VP---he'd be even more popular than he already is. The Giant O ticket--think of the possibilities!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Keith Olbermann Rules the Ratings

The third quarter ratings are out and I'm compelled to let everyone know that Keith Olbermann's ego rocks the ratings game these days.
But the eyebrow raising story to emerge from a month dominated by politics was MSNBC. The traditionally third-place network inched passed CNN in the primetime in the 25-54 sales demographic, to give the network its best primetime performance in its 12-year history.

And you know why? No, it's not because of Rachel Maddow, it's because of me, The Ego because I'm the one who put Rachel on the air! Behold the genius of Keith Olbermann's Ego people. Remember, it's not called MSNBC KONBC for nothing.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Anderson Cooper? Anderson Cooper?

You got be f'ing kidding me. Anderson Cooper is the "new Edward R. Murrow"? What does he do that I don't do? Oh yeah, sure he goes to the scene of any natural disaster. Big f'ing deal. He just does it so he can emote for the camera. The Ego does not need to sink to such cheap tricks. The great thing about being Keith Olbermann's ego is that it doesn't require travel. And so he's on 60 Minutes now. Big deal. Do you know who watches that show? Old people. I have hip, young viewers. And I'm ME dammit: The Ego That Roared. How dare this idiot say that I'm not today's Edward R. Murrow--the "complete" package--whatever that means. And you know what else? The Ego lives with a 20-something GIRL. The Ego is a red-blooded, all-American MALE who likes young women (the younger the better). So was Murrow. So see? Keith Olbermann's Ego is today's real Murrow, not this Anderson Cooper guy, his globe-trotting, and his Prada suits.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

And you ask me WHY I need to do a nightly special comment?

It's not just the part about saving this great nation from another 8 years of incompetent Republican rule, it's also this.
On the first night of Keith Olbermann's nightly Special Campaign Comments, the MSNBC program had its highest viewership ever in the A25-54 demo (935,000). Countdown was #1 in demo and #2 in Total Viewers (behind The O'Reilly Factor). Also, Hardball was #1 at 7pmET and The Rachel Maddow Show was #1 at 9pmET in the demo.
Yeah go ahead, admit it. The Ego is Loved. As it should be.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

John McCain knows who I am!

And Keith Olbermann's Ego has the video to prove it! Even if he did imply that there was a padded room ready and waiting for The Ego.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

3 Debates

That's how long it took for TVNewser to figure out that Keith Olbermann's Ego wasn't exactly serving as an "analyst" for MSNBC but was instead, still serving as an anchor on debate nights. What did this fool think I was going to do? Sit alongside the likes of Chris Matthews or Joe "Scar" Scarborough like they were my equals or something? Instead I got rid of the baggage (seriously, Matthews was dragging me down) and The Ego gets Two Hours to say and do whatever the hell it wants. As it should be. Ain't life grand? It is when you are the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

Monday, October 13, 2008

My bad.

Keith Olbermann's Massive Ego may have inadvertently deleted two comments instead of approving them. Guess I shouldn't have had that extra glass bottle of wine for dinner.

David Letterman?

So on my list. Apparently he had this to say last week about me. Or more accurately, my big giant head. Seriously, this is what he said about me. That I have a big giant head. Don't believe me? Read this.
In announcing the tenative return of McCain to the show, Letterman reminded viewers that he had been reduced to booking "that guy with the giant head," Keith Olbermann, as a last-minute replacement.
But does Dave ask WHY I have a giant head? To contain my giant ego, duh.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Page Six and Me.

Keith Olbermann's massive ego would like to remind you that tomorrow Page Six will print an untrue story about me. How do I know it will be untrue? Because it's in Page Six, duh. On the plus side, they feel I'm important enough to write about and you know how much the Ego enjoys being noticed. Again, it will all be untrue. Even the parts that are true, got it?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Because I can never get enough of me

And when Variety recognizes my greatness, all the better. SO what if Cleese wrote this? It took the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego to deliver the goods to your living rooms people. Recognize. That's all I'm asking. Kudos to Variety for posting the video too. Love ya babes.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

At least the New York Times likes me best.

Review of Football Night in America in the New York Times this morning. And there is the typical grumbling that our 99 hosts (and counting) are way too many. Keith Olbermann's Ego totally agrees. It should be more me, less them.
Hiring Patrick to reunite with Olbermann, his former “SportsCenter” anchormate, sounded like a perfect idea. Olbermann gave the program a needed bolt of energy last year, with his talent for highlight narration and bristling, funny commentary.
He likes me. He really, really likes me. And you know what? Keith Olbermann's Ego likes him for loving me.
Bringing Patrick and Olbermann together presents a bit of an issue because Olbermann has redefined himself as a solo political broadcaster on MSNBC. Whatever you think of his clear leanings in the presidential race, he is a fascinating, dangerous showman whose expressive face needs to be seen more often than highlight narration allows.
Take note Dick Ebersol. The NYT wants to see more of me, me, me, me and less of everyone else. Did I mention how much I really, really, really like this guy from the NYT?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Do you know why the market crashes

do not concern Keith Olbermann's Massive Ego? I mean other than the fact that KOE pulls down over 4M a year? Because I have all my money in baseball cards.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

In honor of Friday night's Countdown

For those of you who were somewhat taken aback by the content matter of Friday night's show. Because if you can't love yourself who else can you love?

Very Funny Rachel.

So Rachel Maddow thinks she's being cute.
In a Rolling Stone interview she was asked where she'd sit if she had to take a taxi to the airport with colleagues Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews, she quips: "Well, I assume that Keith would drive."
Okay everyone knows that I can't really drive (long story involving a subway car and my big, enormous head). But at least Rachel is smart enough to know who drives MSNBC. That's me and my massive ego baby. And she (and everyone else) better not ever forget it.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Boot Brokaw? I'm all for it.

Ha ha ha ha. My minions are hard at work. And the best part of it all? I didn't have to say a word. That'll teach Tom Brokaw to mess with the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.

They say imitation is the sincerest form

of flattery but somehow I'm annoyed that Campbell Brown now thinks she can morph herself into moi and somehow gain ratings for her pathetic little news hour. Still, I was mentioned in the article so that pleases me. I can never get enough of me.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Enough already.

If I have to read one more article about everyone's favorite Lesbian, Rachel Maddow I'm going to throw up. What about me? What about my ego? It must be fed dammit. Where is the press love for me? I used to be everyone's darling. And you know what really blows? That these glowing articles about Rachel (trust me she ain't all that) don't mention me or give me all the credit for her success, as they should. Because without me? She's nothing.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Uh-oh. You know what this means?

Do you know what this means? That I better get paid. That's what it means. No pay, no me. No me, no viewers. No viewers, no ratings. No ratings? Then they are in even deeper doo than they are now. So please, do your part. Buy GE stock now and lots of it. Do it for me, Keith Olbermann's ego. Why? So I can continue to pull down $4M plus a year. I have a Park Avenue apartment to pay for and a girlfriend who has expensive tastes.