Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Who is the best replacement for Keith Olbermann at 10PM?

Why Keith Olbermann's Ego of course.
MSNBC will continue airing Keith Olbermann's talk show twice each weeknight in prime time, putting on indefinite hold a search for a new 10 p.m. program.
How could they possibly improve on perfection?

See, Keith Olbermann's bitch (aka Phil Griffin) agrees with The Ego:
MSNBC may give up entirely on the idea of putting a new live show in that time slot, Griffin said. "We're not going to mess with it until we see where it levels off," he said. "It places the burden, if we are going to put a show there, (for it) to be a big show because the repeat of `Countdown' is doing so well."
And that my friends, is exactly as The Ego wants it. And so it is. As it should be.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Even More Gay Love for Keith Olbermann

You know what The Ego likes best about the gays love for him? Awards. Lots of awards.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Twit, Twitter, Twittiest?

As you know, Keith Olbermann is a very busy man. He has a blog called Baseball Nerd. His Ego has a blog. His Libido would probably have a blog too but chasing after 20-somethings doesn't leave much time to do much else. What Keith Olbermann does not have time for is Twitter. It's been named "WPITW" even though it's not a person. Here MediaBistro breaks it all down for you, because you know, The Ego is busy and doesn't have time to twit or twitter because it's simply too twittish.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Keith Olbermann Blogs Baseball

Just how many blogs does Keith Olbermann need? In addition to this non-official blog run by Keith's fabulously large Ego, Keith now has an entire blog devoted to his one true love. And no, Katy, it ain't about you. And for all of the many millions of Keith's fans--no, it's not about any of you either. Not even the several (?) that Keith's Libido has slept with (and no, don't look for that blog anytime soon). MSNBC? Not unless they cough up more dough. So who said baseball? Yeah, it's all about baseball. What else?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

How to make Bll Maher's show better

Have Keith Olbermann's Ego on for each and every episode.

And for those of you who like hearing The Ego talk dirty, check out the HBO aftershow

Friday, March 20, 2009

Everyone wants to be Keith Olbermann.

It's tiring being Keith Olbermann's Ego. You wanna know why? Because everyone is trying to steal the Ego's act trying to copy The Ego. Want evidence? Look at these photos for the proof. See what I mean? Everyone wants to be me. Even Howard Beale! What more proof do you have of The Ego's greatness? What? The picture was made in the early 70's? Who besides me and the old folks know that? That movie was made in the 70's, hell, my girlfriend (and all other dating targets) weren't even born until the late 1980's. They do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So The Ego is flattered that everyone is copying him. Because it's all about the Ego after all.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

David Letterman, Rachel Maddow and Gawker

The Ego hereby takes an oath to tell Letterman, Maddow, and Gawker to kiss Keith Olbermann's Ego's ass. How dare they mock the size of The Ego's enormous head? Don't they know that it takes a big head to hold a massive intellect? And then there has to be room for The Ego too. This is in fact why Keith has had a weight gain recently. You have to have a lot of room to contain all the greatness and grandeur that is Keith Olbermann.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Keith Olbermann's Ego Hates Jon Stewart.

Why does Keith Olbermann's Ego hate Jon Stewart? Because Jon Stewart doesn't love The Ego. So stop asking Keith Olbermann why he won't cover the whole Jon Stewart-Jim Cramer fight on The Daily Show. Why should The Ego give free publicity to someone who doesn't like love Keith Olbermann?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

No One Tells Keith Olbermann what to Report

No one. Got it? Not NBC, not GE, not anyone. Keith Olbermann's Ego simply did not feel that the face-off between CNBC's Jim Cramer and Comedy Central's Jon Stewart was worthy of The Ego's time. The Ego had more important things to talk about. And Keith Olbermann's Ego is immensely hurt that people are daring to criticize him for failing to utter Stewart or Cramer's name on Friday's night show. STFU. What do you expect from The Ego? Look I'm here to go after Rush and Bill-O and all things GOP, not bite the hand that feeds The Ego. What do you think I am? Stupid? Everyone knows I have an Ivy League degree and couldn't possibly be stupid. At least not stupid enough to add insult to injury to my GE bosses when it comes to calling out a corporate cousin. But remember, if I wanted to talk about I could. I just don't want to. And if none of those excuses explanations work for you, try the several that are offered here instead. See, The Ego does not care what others think about him and what he does or does not talk about on the air.

Newsflash: Keith Olbermann IS Important

The poor print news types. Newspapers are drying up and dying and all they can do is hate on the successful media types like Keith Olbermann's Ego who pull down $7.5 mil a year. Haters. Take a look at this asshole who is calling Keith Olbermann "self-important".
MSNBC's Keith Olbermann was reportedly handing out autographed baseball cards of himself at a recent Yanks-Reds spring training game. Stats on the back identified the former ESPN anchor as a "lefty slugger." I'm not sure what I'm most surprised about - that he has his own cards, or that he has the guts to sign them and hand them out to fans with a straight face. I don't even carry business cards with me because I find them pretentious. And yet, in an odd way, I'm sort of envious of people who have that kind of swagger. Do you think you could pull that off?

No sir, you have it wrong. Keith Olbermann IS important. And no you couldn't pull it off because you don't have The Ego's Ego.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Ego's time clock is ticking

His biological time clock that is.
Children born to older fathers perform less well in intelligence tests during infancy and early childhood, research shows, adding to the body of evidence linking paternal age to neuro-developmental disorders in offspring. Evidence shows older fathers are more likely to produce childhood conditions such as cleft lip and palate, childhood cancers and congenital heart defects, and neuro-psychiatric conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, autism and epilepsy.
Say what? Keith Olbermann's Ego could never, ever in a billion years produce anything but a perfect child. Why? Because the Ego is Perfect, duh. Anyway, according to this article, The Ego needs to go ahead and produce issue. Why won't Katy marry The Ego and make an honest man of him and carry on the greatness that is inevitable from Olbermann-offspring? I'm sure if she won't other women are very eager to raise a super-species with Keith Olbermann. The line forms behind Katy gals.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Keith Olbermann's Ego is GLAAD for the Gay Love

Keith Olbermann's Ego is loving the gays these days and why? Because they love him.
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) will award outstanding representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community in news and entertainment media at the 20th Annual GLAAD Media Awards presented by IBM. This year there are 185 nominees in 41 categories that include Outstanding Film; TV Journalism; Theatre; Music Artist; and Comic Book; and 15 Spanish language entertainment and news categories. The New York event will be held March 28, 2009 with local presenting sponsor Prudential. Tyra Banks, Suze Orman and Phil Donahue will receive special honors. Special guests include Cherry Jones, T.R. Knight, Jay Manuel, S. Epatha Merkerson, Chris Noth and Keith Olbermann.
Note to GLADD: Shouldn't The Ego's name have been FIRST in that list? Anyway, The Ego would like to invite all of his fans to purchase tickets here.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What? You expect The Ego to post during Spring Training?

Keith Olbermann's Ego is busy with very important matters dammit. Spring Training, need The Ego say more?

Except the Ego does want to do a shout-out to Meghan McCain for bitch-slapping Ann Coulter. Couldn't happen to a nicer person. Note to Self: This Meghan McCain is kinda hot. Sure she's a little on the plus-size but with exercise and diet I'm sure she can take that weight off for Keith Olbermann's Ego. And she was whining last week she can't get any. Sure she and Katy are the same age but Meghan looks younger. And Katy is getting to be very boring. And Meghan is loaded. It would be very nice to not have to support the arm-candy: more money left over to spend on baseball cards. Plus there would be a private jet to fly down to spring-training in. She's kinda easy on the eye. There is that icky mother though-she looks like the crypt-keeper with hair extensions. And her father is a Republican. The fan base would never be down with me hitting a GOPer twenty-something. On the other hand, they might like the idea of the Ego screwing a Republican instead of a Republican screwing over a liberal for a change. And she's a Republican chick. Everyone knows how kinky those wacky Republicans are. And Meghan has said she likes the "bad boys". What would be badder than bedding down with the fabulousness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego? Hee hee hee. And she'd benefit out this situation too: she'd be able to really piss off her parents by taking up with The Ego. You know this could work out very well for everyone. Note to self: Make one of those over-paid staffers of mine hunt this chick down and book her for Countdown the instant I make my triumphant return (you know, after Spring Training--priorities don't you know). We can Coulter-bash together and see where this might lead.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Keith Olbermann has an Ivy League Degree

See? Right there it has Keith Olbermann's name on it and it says C-O-R-N-E-L-L.
And this is why Ann Coulter is a WPITW pick:

Ann Coulter can kiss Keith Olbermann's ass.So can Gawker.
Meanwhile, Rhodes Scholar Rachel Maddow did an hour of news and analysis and opinion and interviews on current events, politics, and foreign affairs.
Stick to your day jobs you non-Cornell Ivy League graduates. Being a smart-ass is Keith Olbermann's full-time profession.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

How to turn an article not about you into being about you

Keith Olbermann's Ego has never, ever been shy about admitting it's all about The Ego. And Keith Olbermann's Ego never, ever turns down the opportunity to promote itself when given the opportunity. Take this weekend for example. Paul Harvey, who was like a 103 finally kicked the bucket. So when contacted by Aaron Barnhart about Paul Harvey's death what did the Ego do? Turn it around so that it was all about Keith Olbermann. Barnhart "immediately" emailed The Ego when he learned of Paul Harvey's death. (Why? Because The Ego Is the Ego, duh). And this bit of genius was The Ego's reply:
"I was his official fill-in from 2001-03 and I was overwhelmed by the thought that went in to the selection and flow of stories. Even when he was off, his rules were in place: each segment began with hard news, moved on to commentary, ended with celebrity and then something light or silly. Then a commercial. Then repeat. Then another commercial, etc. "I stole it almost entirely for 'Countdown.'"
See kids? That's how it's done. Begin with "I" and end as closely as possible with "I" again, filled in-between and ending with as many possible promotions as possible. Look, Paul Harvey is dead. Can't say or do anything for him at this point, might as well promote oneself (or more precisely, one's Ego) right?

Keith Olbermann is No Comedian

WTF is this joker at the Atlantic trying to say here? The mere comparison of Keith Olbermann's Ego to Rush F'ing Limbaugh is a joke and of itself. The Ego is beyond insulted.
I don't think Limbaugh is a less serious voice for conservatism than Keith Olbermann is for liberalism. But that's because I don't think either of them should be taken all that seriously - because they're media personalities whose primary loyalty is to their image and their audience, and whose primary purpose is to provoke and get attention. And I think it should go without saying that American liberalism would be in serious, serious trouble if someone like Olbermann were occupying the kind of role on the left-of-center that Limbaugh seems to be shouldering his way into at the moment.
Listen buddy, American liberalism is in the White House today thanks to the likes of the genius that is Keith Olbermann's Ego. And this laughable little article is one more reason why magazines are dying in America. Long live Cable News and its King, Keith Olbermann's Massive Ego.