Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Help Wanted

Who says that that NBC/MSNBC is only laying off people these days? Look, there's a job opening on Countdown (although technically speaking, someone lost their job which is why this one is open). Okay my faithful fanatics, time to brush off those resumes and you too could work with the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Massive (but oh so talented) Ego.
Segment Producer, Countdown with Keith Olbermann Built on the worldwide resources of NBC News, MSNBC defines news for the next generation with world-class reporting and a full schedule of live news coverage, political analysis and award-winning documentary programming - 24 hours a day, seven days a week. MSNBC's home on the Internet is msnbc.com. Msnbc.com boasts the state-of-the-art technology of Microsoft and the first-rate reporting of NBC News. NBC Universal is one of the world's leading media and entertainment companies. We develop, produce and market entertainment, news and information to a global market. NBC Universal owns and operates a valuable portfolio of news and entertainment networks, a premier motion picture company, significant television production operations, a leading television stations group, and world-renowned theme parks. The Segment Producer, Countdown with Keith Olbermann is responsible for writing segments for "Countdown with Keith Olbermann". Responsibilities include, but are not limited to: Produce and write assigned segments, Copy edits assigned scripts, Determine video and sound for assigned segments, Communicate daily story development with senior producer, Be in control room during airing of assigned segment, Field produce segments with MSNBC correspondents, when warranted, Participate in editorial planning, Pitch story ideas, Advise line producers of tease ideas, Work with graphics producers to create show graphics. Qualifications/Requirements: Must have a minimum of 3 years experience in live television (i.e. morning shows, cable shows, broadcast TV, etc.), Eligibility Requirements: Interested candidates must submit a resume/CV through nbcunicareers.com to be considered, Must be willing and able to work flexible hours, under tight deadline pressure, including breaking news, Must be willing to work in New York, NY, Must be willing to take drug test and submit to a background investigation, Must have unrestricted work authorization to work in the United States, Must be 18 years or older, Additional Eligibility Qualifications: For U.S. employment opportunities, GE hires U.S. citizens, permanent residents, asylees, refugees, and temporary residents. Temporary residence does not include those with non-immigrant work authorization (F, J, H or L visas), such as students in practical training status. Exceptions to these requirements will be determined based on shortage of qualified candidates with a particular skill. GE will require proof of work authorization. Any offer of employment is conditioned upon the successful completion of a background investigation and drug screen. Desired Characteristics: Expert writer and storyteller, Ability to enterprise, research, and plan stories, Ability to "book" guests, work with props, graphics, and special elements, Exceptional editorial skills: Ability to recognize stories with high potential for provocative, passionate, compelling television, Knowledge of politics and current events, Up to date on blogs, websites, periodicals, including Op-Eds.
Does this sound like you? If so, apply here. And then one day you can tell your grandchildren what it was like to work with the greatest broadcaster in the history of the universe.


marinara said...

What did you do to the other segment producer, Keith?

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

I consumed their flesh, along with a couple of bottles of very nice merlot.

flowergirl said...

Funny how the first several sentences were praising themselves.
But nowhere in there does it say that Keith can't hire his girlfriend.
Hmmm, sounds like an opening just for her. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if that job opened up on purpose so they could say it was all legit and she qualified. Just like she "qualified" for the job she has now.

It was also very telling that Keith doesn't do anything anymore but just sit there and read a telepromter and make stupid facial expressions.

marinara said...

And fava beans?

Let's all send in phony resume's for Keith to choose from, so he doesn't feel bad that no one wants the job.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

The last thing that the Ego wants is for "The Girlfriend" to be calling the shots at work too. The Ego has to have a little breathing room sometime you know.