Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Keith Olbermann's Ego will Live Forever


Many people admire the Ego's physique (aka "more to love") and now the Ego has proof that his preferred workout method leads to a longer life. Sez so right here.
Frankfurt, Germany, December 6 -- A rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and increases their life expectancy.

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women's breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.

She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out."

A five-year research on 500 men Researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany did an in-depth analysis of 200 healthy males over a period of five years. Half the volunteers were instructed to ogle at the breasts of women daily, while the rest were told to refrain from doing so.

At the close of the study, the researchers noted that the men who stared at the breasts of females on a regular basis exhibited lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and lesser episodes of coronary artery [a blood vessel that carries oxygenated blood away from the heart to the body.] disease.

Sexual desire linked to better blood circulation The researchers declared that sexual desire gives rise to better blood circulation that signifies an overall improved health.

Weatherby explained the concept stating, "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation. There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthy.

"Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

In addition, she also recommended that men over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes.


The Ego will never die.

16 comments:

Greyfawn said...

Oh, Ego, I am so sorry. You should have hit Snopes first. http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/breasts.asp

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

A man can dream though can't he Greyfawn?

Greyfawn said...

Of course. Merry Christmas, Ego. :-)

justme said...

Off topic, but Ego: You apparently did not spend much, if any, time with Sis and family this Christmas. There you are wandering around NYC taking pictures of snow, boasting about your ratings, calling for the heads of city officials and snarking (poorly) with your many detractors on Twitter. You can't do your "workout" when all the women are in parkas. You have the funds: for heaven's sake, take a VACATION. Send us a couple of pictures of a beach somewhere, and come back relaxed. We could all use it.

bunny said...

http://keitholbermann.mlblogs.com/archives/2010/12/even_big_market_fans_can_kvetc.html

Beneath the essay, there are a list of MLBlogs Network related articles. I find the link to "Virginia's Top 5 Favorite Non-Yankee Cuties!!!" kind of creepy because the author of the blog is a 17 year old girl. (Or so she says.) Guess Katy wasn't young enough.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

Since Keith Olbermann's Ego Twit has now once again decided that replies are now okay again (even though his Twitter description still states otherwise)--Keith Olbermann's Ego has decided to grace some of you with replies here at KOE. Consider yourself honored, as you should be.

To Just Me: Keith Olbermann's Ego often forgets he HAS a sister. Why in 2007 he gave an infamous interview with Gail Shister in which he told her he was an only child despite many articles done on him in the past which discussed his sister. I guess because she's adopted she doesn't really count as a sister? Except you know, when the Ego needs to use one of her kids as a prop in a photo to post on Twitter.

To Bunny: The author of that blog is one year away from the age of consent and then she's fair game for the Ego Twit. Just so long as she's hot that is.

LK said...

I tell you what's creepy--click on the people he follows on Twitter. There are any number of attractive females there who state they are either still in college or in their very early 20's. He's becoming the Hugh Hefner of tv anchormen.

Anonymous said...

You can state anything you want in those things, LK. One of his followers that he followed back was recently discovered (by others-not him) to not be a nurse in her 20's as she said, but a 40-something with a criminal record. He oddly didn't have any comment about it, but apparently didn't learn anything, either. Some of those "hot college students" might be the same type of thing. Or possibly not even women. Or gay - he does follow a lot of gay women.

The Real Anon said...

I missed that drama. Is he still following her? And what did these fans of his do--hire a PI to investigate everyone he was following?

LK said...

Having witnessed some of the excesses of some of KO's more excessive and obsessive fans, it would not surprise me to find out that they did indeed hire a PI to find out something about someone they hated namely anyone whom he pays more attention to than them-which is to say--everyone.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

LK kindly leave my obsessed fans alone. It's the only way I like them. Why shouldn't they be obsessed with the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego? They are supposed to be--as the Ego wants it to be.

Anonymous said...

No -- the exposition, when it came, had nothing to do with him. or his fans. Some of her other followers discovered it, and she quit Twitter, deleting everything. So no, he doesn't still follow her. Point is, not everyone is who/what they say they are on Twitter.

Anonymous said...

I've noticed something about his "obcessed" fans. Very few of them want him for themselves. They would like to see him 1) back with Katy 2) With Rachel Maddow (yes I know) or 3) with ... get this... Anderson Cooper. I never knew until Twitter how big a gay following KO has.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

No, no, no Anonymous 11:52. They all want the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego but they know that given their age, weight, ugliness, and otherwise unattractiveness they would never stand a chance with The Ego. The Ego you see has standards. However, it is clear that the fans don't exactly undestand what those are. 1. Katy is too old for the Ego now. Also, too ambitious and not nearly respectuful enough of the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's ego. 2. Even if Rachel weren't gay, she's also way too old. And the body type is all wrong. 3. No. Under any circumstances. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Ego, do not, under any circumstances, check out the slashfic at Punditslash. Some of these fans even do illustrations. It's gross.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

The Ego would never dream of looking up such trash. What did you say the name of that website again? And most importantly, in these fanfic tales does the Ego have the lead role? You know the Ego doesn't necessarily care who they are pairing him off with just so long as they accurately describe his massive virility, his giant masculinity, and of course, the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego.