Friday, May 15, 2009

Don't some of you have jobs to do?

And I don't mean the measly little ones you get paid for either.

It has come to the Ego's attention that some of you here are calling the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego melodramatic. A few have even accused Keith Olbermann's Ego of wallowing in the drama of yesterday's events. And you know what? You're right. But that's what makes Keith Olbermann's Ego the mighty ego that roared and don't you ever forget it.

Furthermore, I don't know what's wrong with some of you, but you're obviously lacking empathy/sympathy genes or something. Don't you get that the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego is never ever ever ever wrong? Furthermore, how dare some of you actually go so far as to question The Ego's motives. If it comes from Keith Olbermann's lips it is true. That is ALL you EVER need to know. Got it?

And one more thing: when Keith Olbermann's Ego asks for sympathy and understanding and support, it is your sworn duty as duly appointed Keith Olbermann Minions to start kissing KO ass doing what I tell you to do immediately. If Keith Olbermann's Ego needs understanding, support, worship and adoration, then get your Minion asses over to Daily Kos ASAP as Daily Kos is the only official Keith Olbermann endorsed conduit for such worship and adoration.

Now for you slackers who have been slagging off about the great emotional turmoil that the genius that is Keith Olbermann's Ego has had to endure for the past 24 hours, I expect each of you to pick up the phone right now and call in sick today to your puny little jobs--and I know your jobs are puny indeed. You know why? Because The Ego pad more than a million dollars in taxes last year (and that was even after using Katy as a write-off). And you mean to tell me you think your job is more important than mine? No. It is NOT. Furthermore, nothing is as important as Keith Olbermann's Ego. And don't you ever forget it. Priorities people, priorities. I expect you to have them and they begin and end with me, got it? If the Ego deems it necessary to both blog about something AND devote a segment of Countdown to it, it's important. That is ALL you need to know.

Now where was I? Oh yeah--worship, adoration, support, blah blah blah. Okay I expect the doubters amongst you to immediately get your butts over to Daily Kos. I'll be checking back later and when I do, I expect to see epic-length, glowing, sympathetic posts telling the whole wide world how much you adore the greatness that is Keith Olbermann. I see that some of you have already done that, just as The Ego likes loves it.

And when you're done with that--then I want you all to go to each of those websites that have maligned the genius that is Keith Olbermann and tell them how much they suck--and The Ego is well-pleased that some of you have already done exactly that. Now that is a real Minion. The rest of you? Not so much. So now that The Ego has given you your marching orders--get busy: you have work to do.


Why Gawker Rocks said...

Gawker is attacking you again KO.

So, here we are. We maintain that Olbermann threw a hissy fit because he felt upstaged by his hand-picked protege; he says we're heartless assholes because he's been in a state of mourning. That would be a fair enough argument, except ... except, it wasn't just CityFile that claimed Olbermann took his unexpected leave of absence. A Gawker source, with intimate involvement with the situation, maintains our version of the story. Olbermann — who, by the way, would be entirely within his rights to say he was taking some time off to attend to his mother's funeral — didn't bring up his mother's death until today.
We made repeated calls to MSNBC today to get Olbermann's side, but never heard anything back until he went on his show to slam Gawker and the horrible, horrible blogosphere in his new WTF segment. So much for the journalistic cred of the MSM.
P.S. We've been a fan of you, Keith O. Just please don't be such a touchy jerk. Our condolences for your loss.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LK said...

All of this has convinced me of one thing: he's not normal. First of all why does he have to read every single thing about him? And secondly did no one ever tell him the more you defend against something the worst the situation becomes? He's just given that Cityfile website more hits than it's ever had. That guarantees that the guy there will keep it up to generate more traffic to his site. He ought to understand that, it's the same principle as ratings. And his striking out as those who say bad things about him on air is just childlike. It's like has no built in censor like normal people do.

Anonymous said...

Ay, Ay, Captain!

marinara said...

Mentioning Gawker again tonight sent me back to their site to look, but I didn't see anything new. Keith's Ego is working against it's own interest by promoting sites that attack him.

marinara said...

Hey, Keith's Ego, what's up with the deleted posts? I thought you decided what does and doesn't get posted.

Are you also under attack by Olbermann fanbots?

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia said...

I haven't been watching Countdown lately, but a comment from HuffPost mentioned some tension between Rachel & Keith (to kinda back the affleck story). Anybody else notice?:

"I hadn't heard of any of this Olbermann squabbling stuff, but I must say that over the last month or so, I have been slightly aware of a sort of barely-visible curtness in the between-show handoff btwn Keith and Rachel, almost as if a slight undercurrent of unspoken conflict exists btwn them, esp. b/c I seem to remember Rachel being much more engaged, i.e., bantering w/ Keith, in the past during those few seconds when they are on the screen together!"

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia said...

Speaking of not having a "real" job...I came across these links in a comment section another blog:

I've seen this mentioned (without the links) in both right-wing & liberal blogs. But when someone posted some links, it was weird and striking that Katy Tur and Olbermann's mom look alike (At least when Katy ages she may look like that). The noses, the mouth structure, creepy...(Paging Dr. Frued!)

Perhaps The Ego could put together a side-by-side comparison.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia said...

Seems Dan Abrams kind of proves CityFile/Gawker/Wonkette's point:

Even comments from FANS of Keith Olbermann are creeped-out by his use of his mother's death for sympathy in responding to "sleazy" gossip.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

Other blog? What other blog? There is no other blog except this one and the Baseball Nerd.

LK said...

I don't know about Katy looking like Keith's Mom but if you put a wig on Keith, you'd have a close proximity of his Mom's looks.

marinara said...

Hey Marcia, would you mind putting up the full links to what you've referred to here? Those tiny url's don't work for me.