Say What Anderson Cooper?

So Anderson Cooper threw down this challenge to the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego last night:

I could "take" both of them (Chris Matthews & Keith Olbermann) in an arm wrestle.

Have any of you seen how painfully skinny Cooper is? Keith Olbermann's Ego could just sit on the little pipsqueak and crush him. And Matthews could just bore him to death.

Help Wanted

Who says that that NBC/MSNBC is only laying off people these days? Look, there's a job opening on Countdown (although technically speaking, someone lost their job which is why this one is open). Okay my faithful fanatics, time to brush off those resumes and you too could work with the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Massive (but oh so talented) Ego.

Segment Producer, Countdown with Keith Olbermann Built on the worldwide resources of NBC News, MSNBC defines news for the next generation with world-class reporting and a full schedule of live news coverage, political analysis and award-winning documentary programming - 24 hours a day, seven days a week. MSNBC's home on the Internet is msnbc.com. Msnbc.com boasts the state-of-the-art technology of Microsoft and the first-rate reporting of NBC News. NBC Universal is one of the world's leading media and entertainment companies. We develop, produce and market entertainment, news and information to a global market. NBC Universal owns and operates a valuable portfolio of news and entertainment networks, a premier motion picture company, significant television production operations, a leading television stations group, and world-renowned theme parks. The Segment Producer, Countdown with Keith Olbermann is responsible for writing segments for "Countdown with Keith Olbermann". Responsibilities include, but are not limited to: Produce and write assigned segments, Copy edits assigned scripts, Determine video and sound for assigned segments, Communicate daily story development with senior producer, Be in control room during airing of assigned segment, Field produce segments with MSNBC correspondents, when warranted, Participate in editorial planning, Pitch story ideas, Advise line producers of tease ideas, Work with graphics producers to create show graphics. Qualifications/Requirements: Must have a minimum of 3 years experience in live television (i.e. morning shows, cable shows, broadcast TV, etc.), Eligibility Requirements: Interested candidates must submit a resume/CV through nbcunicareers.com to be considered, Must be willing and able to work flexible hours, under tight deadline pressure, including breaking news, Must be willing to work in New York, NY, Must be willing to take drug test and submit to a background investigation, Must have unrestricted work authorization to work in the United States, Must be 18 years or older, Additional Eligibility Qualifications: For U.S. employment opportunities, GE hires U.S. citizens, permanent residents, asylees, refugees, and temporary residents. Temporary residence does not include those with non-immigrant work authorization (F, J, H or L visas), such as students in practical training status. Exceptions to these requirements will be determined based on shortage of qualified candidates with a particular skill. GE will require proof of work authorization. Any offer of employment is conditioned upon the successful completion of a background investigation and drug screen. Desired Characteristics: Expert writer and storyteller, Ability to enterprise, research, and plan stories, Ability to "book" guests, work with props, graphics, and special elements, Exceptional editorial skills: Ability to recognize stories with high potential for provocative, passionate, compelling television, Knowledge of politics and current events, Up to date on blogs, websites, periodicals, including Op-Eds.

Does this sound like you? If so, apply here. And then one day you can tell your grandchildren what it was like to work with the greatest broadcaster in the history of the universe.

Head Clown in the Circus

The AP hasn't had a good year. Their political and tv writers are idiots who don't get the greatness that is Keith Olbermann's Ego but they called it right in this profile of my ole' high school non-chum and later ESPN co-worker, Chris Berman. The fat idiot is so dumb he couldn't figure out how to get out of ESPN like most of the rest of us talented ones did. Let's face it, the greatest days of ESPN were when The Ego and his butt boy Dan Patrick ruled SportsCenter. It's been in decline since the day The Ego left.

"He could have become the sage voice at ESPN by now, a voice of maturity, credibility and wisdom," New York Post columnist Phil Mushnick said. "Instead, he's the voice that does the imitation of Chris Berman. He's the head clown in the circus over there."

Love it. Although I think it's safer to say that Berman is the circus and ESPN are the clowns. Those guys never got the greatness that is The Ego either.

Songs from Keith Olbermann's Ego's IPOD: The Rolling Stones

So Keith Olbermann and his gigantic ego are on vacation this week. The Ego knows that the Ego's absence is tough for the Ego's devoted fans who hang on every single little syllable that the Ego utters (as you should). But think how glad you'll all be when the Ego returns fresh and rested and rarin' to go (as in go admire myself in the mirror, natch). If the pain of The Ego's abscence is just too great to bear, just break out your DVD's and video tapes and whatever it is you use to record Countdown and all The Ego's various media appearance. Come on. I know you are all sitting on vast libraries of my work. And if you're missing a show or three, just let Keith Olbermann's Ego know. Of course, The Ego has almost every single second of the The Ego's oh-so-fabulous career documented and preserved for posterity. The Ego knows that one day this library will serve as a guidepost and a roadmap for aspiring journalists everywhere as of course, Keith Olbermann is the greatest journalist who has ever lived or who will ever live. That's why The Ego gets paid the big bucks.

The Ego bids you all sweet adieu til our paths cross again (after the holidays) and leaves you with this musical selection from my Ipod as an early Christmas present:

Reasons why I hate the LA Times

As if Keith Olbermann's ego needed any additional reasons to hate the LA Times there's there alleged media "critic" hating on the greatness that is Keith Olbermann. She actually had the audacity to claim that Keith Olbermann was one of the worst things in television this year.

Keith Olbermann at the Democratic convention (MSNBC). We've been wondering where the line between anchor and pundit was drawn these days. With his harangues, rants, instant analyses and general boorishness, Olbermann found it, crossed it and was sent down.

At least Bill O'Reilly and Sarah Palin made the list too.

Tommy Lee, Pam Anderson, Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick?

The Sporting News claims that Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann had one of the greatest "bromances" in sports. True that. But the comparison to Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson?

Keith Olbermann and Dan Patrick. The Tommy Lee and Pamala Anderson of bromances, their brotherhood blossomed on the set of SportsCenter in the mid-90s. The two even co-authored a book called “The Big Show,” the catch-phrase they shared on screen to describe ESPN’s hallmark program. But it didn’t last. The bromance fizzled when Keith left in ’97. Later, Dan would move on to SI. But now the two have been reunited once more to rekindle the bromance on NBC’s “Football Night in America.” Like Pam and Tommy, this second go around likely won’t last either. At least they’ll always have “en fuego.”

Well if they say so. But Keith Olbermann's Ego totally gets to be Tommy Lee if you know what the Ego is trying to say.

Keith Olbermann NOT marriage material?

Keith Olbermann's Ego is very pleased to read today that journalists are considered to be amongst the least "eligible" in the marriage market.

It really does pay to be a doctor, with an international survey showing the medical profession is the most trusted, among the most admired and includes the most eligible marriage partners. By contrast, actors and musicians, along with journalists and advertisers, were among professionals that people trusted the least, and were also least likely to choose a partner from, according to a survey by Synovate, the market research arm of Aegis Group plc.

Whew. Thank God for surveys like this. It gets The Ego off the hook for having to marry ole' Katy (and she is getting older by the minute). And I've got double the excuse now too since Katy is employed as a journalist too, this survey proves that we are both miserable marriage material. (And trust The Ego, if I did get married I would be miserable). So now I can spend all that money I'd have to spend waste on an engagement ring on what I really want to spend it on anyway: baseball cards. A man has to have priorities right?