Sunday, September 7, 2008

The NY Daily News? Dead to me now too.

So this wise-ass punk from the NY Daily News has decided that I'm too partisan to cover football highlights. It's football people? How can I talk about politics in the middle of a football game? That's my story and I'm sticking to it no matter how much the haters hate on me. I can multitask and they're just envious because they can't.
Olbermann is either hated (that may not be a strong enough word) or loved. There is no middle ground. People who enjoy having something to complain about watch. So do sycophants who would not pass up the chance to kiss Olbermann's fanny.
He says sycophants like it's a bad thing. And we all know how much I enjoy having my ass kissed, so at least he's right on that score.
The haters who watch “Football Night In America” won't relate to Olbermann as just another schlub voicing over highlights. They may even tune out in disgust. Guess NBC Sports boss Dick Ebersol does not care about losing viewers on an hour-long program that ain't exactly a ratings juggernaut.
Football always trumps politics. Maybe someone will turn down the sound, they might switch the channel, but they'll always come back. And why? Because they love me. And football. Mostly football but still. I am loved. And hated. And even the haters will tune in. Why? Because they love to hate. See, it's all about the love.
Even if you subscribe to Olbermann's political agenda, the following thought might still occur: Doesn't he have something more important to do? Shouldn't Olbermann be preparing for his interview tomorrow night with Barack Obama rather than providing comprehensive analysis on Chad Johnnson changing his name to Chad Ocho Cinco?
He got that part right. Jesus if I had a dime for every time the Kos Crowd wanted me to talk about their little pet issues. And don't even get me started on the 9/11 Truth Conspiracy Whackjobs. I just wish they'd all cut me a break so I could concentrate on what's really important to me: me and what I want to talk about. Or not talk about. Is that really too much to ask?
Since Olbermann's focus is politricks, there is a perception that he couldn't care less, that these Sunday night trips to NBC's football studio amount to Olbermann's version of slumming, that he also digs descending from the mountain top to hang in the playpen with Patrick, Rapping Roberto, Collinsworth, The Bus and Tiki. Football fans see through this stuff. They know when someone cares more about the Electoral College than what college Keyunta Dawson attended.
Politricks. Very funny. Leave the wordsmithing to me, okay pal? And by pal I mean "my new and latest addition to my enemy list". I care about the Electoral College and Football. Not as much as I care about me or baseball, but it's right up there.Really.
The business end of this makes no sense either. Olbermann's “Countdown” show has gotten major buzz for buzz-challenged MSNBC. Olbermann is a brand. Why inject confusion into the mix by putting him on a football show? Unless, of course, Olbermann is calling the shot here.
Shows you how much this asshat knows. That's why he's a newspaper flack and as we all know, newspapers are a losing business these days. Where was I? Oh yeah, this idiot has no business sense when it comes to television. It's about E-X-P-O-S-U-R-E pal. My ratings went up after last season's FNIA gigs and it'll go up more this year. The more people see me the more they want of me, Keith Olbermann's Massive Ego. Duh.
He has taken on an Anchor Monster persona. If he chooses to, Olbermann probably could get away with putting a verbal hit on McCain in between replays of quarterback sacks. Hey, the jive-time spin NBC and MSNBC suits put out when Olbermann remained in New York, rather than anchoring from the Republican Convention in Minny, provided ample evidence of just how long a leash this cat is on. It would not have been surprising if the suits said Olbermann stayed home because he was busy rehearsing for “Football Night In America.” A show that certainly could — and should — live without him.
Hee hee. Anchor Monster. I kinda like the sound of that. I am the anchor of all anchors after all. Note to self: Steal that line and use it again. Repeatedly. Do not give credit for it to this idiot-jerk however. Again-where was I? Oh yeah. Of course I have a long leash. I own MSNBC baby. And now I'm staking my claim on NBC Sports. It's only a matter of time before my master plan is in play and I own the entire damn network. Got a problem with that NY Daily News idiot? You should because once I'm king of NBC you won't even be allowed to watch the greatness that is me, Keith Olbermann's Ego. And he won't admit it but guess what? He'll be watching right along with the rest of you tonight. And that's how I get the last word and the last laugh on my critics (who are all secretly and not-so-secretly envious of me.) As it should be.


Anonymous said...

You aren't funny or clever in the least. I don't know what you want to gain out of this stupid blog. It's pointless. Keith is magnificent. Too bad you don't like it that he skewers the right.

flowergirl said...

It's fun. And in defense of KOE, I do believe "he"? is a Democrat.

Funny how it always boils down to politics.

flowergirl said...

Wow! Is it just me or did this place turn pink?

It looks good. I like it. And I'm not big on pink.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

Keith's Egos Alter Ego(s) is/are (?) indeed devoted and devout Dems. As you can see there is a link to the Obama campaign on the right hand side of the page. Donate often, please.

And please refer to the lyrics of Rick Nelson's "Garden Party" to get KOE's taken on why we (me?) continue(s) on in the face of such hostile and bitter criticism.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

Oh and to my pal FG: It looks beige on my monitor but glad to know it isn't too too icky on yours.

flowergirl said...

Garden Party. I love that song.

marinara said...

Hey anonymous! Go look at the nightly diary by citylightslover at the Daily Kos and ask her why she is engaging in her pointless endeavor of kissing Keith's ass and getting nothing in return. KO will not even comment in her threads, because he is so disgusted by it.

Her latest diary has 495 comments from the 30 people who recommended it. The same 30 people, posting comments over and over again, about this man that some of us love to hate. No wonder he won't touch it.

I love that he skewers the right. That's why I watch him. I don't like his personality much, though. I put up with it because I can't stand to set eyes on any of those hacks at FOX, and I despise
"objective" news reporting. Waste of time listening to Williams, Gibson and Couric.

I wants me some opinions, dammit!