Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Dana Milbank's ego isn't as big as mine

That's why he had to go. Well that and everyone at Daily Kos was pissed at me because I didn't ask him about this whole Obama thing. Boy were they pissed. And I can't have them pissed at me, the fabulous Keith Olbermann. I need love. I need worship. I need affirmations that I am wonderful. Why else would I post during the middle of my own television show on Kos if not to show them how much I love them (okay I need them because I really don't love anyone other than myself but they don't need to know that--it's just between you and me and Keith). Where was I? Oh yeah, Milbank.

So after five years of being one of my best on-air buddies (do you really think that I'd associate with these people off-air?) Milbank had to go because everyone at Kos was pissed with him and by extension, with me. And I need love. I need lots of love. I need fawning. Lots and lots of fawning. Okay so Milbank had already let us know he was going to leave us for CNN. (Did I mention I left CNN twice? Such losers. They just didn't appreciate my greatness.) What? Milbank. Oh yeah, him. Okay so Milbank told us the day before he printed the Obama column he was leaving to go to those bastards at CNN. Whatever. I don't need him. My show doesn't need him (Anyone seen Craig Crawford? Yeah I know he was totally in the tank for Hillary but I need a Milbank substitute, stat!).

So anyway, Milbank is gone to CNN. Good riddance. But did he have to try and show me up by telling everyone he was out the door before I claimed I'd fired him from my show? Bastard. I'll get even with him for this. But it's okay. Because My fans adore me. And why wouldn't they? I am, of course, Keith Olbermann. And I canned Milbank no matter what that little bastard says. And Here. And here. Oh screw it, he's lying, and I'm right. Because I'm always right no matter what the facts really show. Remember that okay?

Hey, wow--did you see all those comments at TV Newser about me, Keith Olbermann? People are talking about me! Me. Me. Me. Me! It's all about me. And that's the way I, Keith Olbermann, like it.

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