Monday, August 18, 2008

Radar does not.

So Radar has another one of these stupid lists this morning. They don't like me. I in turn, despise them for not liking me. Don't they realize my greatness? Apparently not. I'm still pissed at them for the last stupid thing they wrote about me. This ridiculous claim that even my own staff doesn't like me (of course my staff doesn't "like" me, they worship me! And that's what they are supposed to do!). So what BS is Radar peddling this morning? Stupid list of supposed "winners" and "losers" in this year's political pundit/newscaster race.
The former sportscaster has finally found his voice as a lefty pundit. Sadly, it's unhinged, pompous, and sounds a lot like Bill O'Reilly's.

Called out by in May for his "gasbag" Special Comments (which leave us feeling drenched with spittle), Olbermann has boosted his show's ratings by morphing into Bill-O's liberal doppelgänger, but he's losing credibility. Fast.

Look, first of all, I don't "race" anyone. I am always number one, got it? Good, now don't forget it. Unhinged? I'll show you unhinged buddy. You're going on my list pronto as you clearly don't get the genius and greatness that is me. Pompous? Okay I'll cop to that. But I'm me! I am greatness! I can't help but be pompous. It's a heavy burden, sure but it's all part of being Keith Olbermann's ego. And how dare you compare me to a hack like O'Reilly? Okay, sure I do owe him a little, okay, a lot (like my complete hate and constant derision), I am no Bill O'Reilly dammit! I'm smarter, better-looking, younger (slightly), and I have a hot girlfriend (she's 23, did I mention that yet)? And re credibility? Are you f'ing kidding me? Have you seen Fox? I rest my case.

So this Radar BS is nothing but lies. And how do I know this? Because they had to say this about Chuck Todd:
Dazzling viewers with his nerdy mastery of delegate math, this former print journalist leaped into the top echelon of know-it-alls this spring. Dubbed "Mr. Spock," "the smartest man on TV," and "the designated driver of MSNBC's political coverage,"
The smartest man on television? That's me dammit. I skipped a year of high school. I have a genius IQ. I am, have always been, and will always be the smartest man on television. And don't you ever forget it! Chuck Todd? Do you know where that little bastard ranks at in importance at MSNBC? Low enough to buff my shoes every morning. I'll show HIM who the designated driver at MSNBC is (even though I can't actually drive. Long story short: subway, baseball game, head injury, peripheral vision loss, etc. Who needs to drive anyway? I have people for that).

Where was I? Oh yeah, more proof of Radar's stupidity? They claim Joe Scarborough is better than me. And Rachel Maddow too. I run MSNBC so both of these mental midgets work for me. So there is no way possible on this earth that either of them, or both of them put together are possibly better than me. See what I mean? Radar=Stupid.

They got one thing right though. Chris Matthews sucks.
An insecure spaz
HA! Love it. Okay so the article isn't a complete pack of lies. Just mostly.


Donna B said...

Radar really doesn't like him do they?

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

They simply do not recognize my greatness.

Donna said...

That's why you have to constantly remind us huh Keith?