You know how my arch-nemesis Bill-O is always putting people on his watch list? I'm about to whip-out a watch-list of my very own and at the top of the list will be this name: Rachel Maddow.
It was bad enough when MSNBC had her sub for me. Her ratings were a little bit too close to my regular ratings for my comfort. I own that network you know. And I'm the King. And no one should even begin to think about messing with the king.
So what's Rachel done you ask? Stolen my damn agent. I got news for you Rachel. She's your agent now because she's really keeping an eye out for me. Because she understands me. I'm her one and only client no matter how many she has on her roster. Because I'm the most important person in broadcasting. Period. Got it? Good, now don't forget it.
And while you're at it, remember this too: I keep my friends close (actually I don't really have that many friends. But who needs friends when I have me?) where was I? Oh yeah I keep my friends close but my enemies closer.