Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Why does Jossip Vex Me So?

So why does Jossip insist on posting these kind of pieces about me?
On 09/08/08, a one Keith Olbermann will mark his nearly complete takeover of the network. Yes, Olbermann might as well hold Phil Griffin's title as MSNBC chief, since, according to knowledgeable sources and all outside appearances, he's making the calls.
I have nothing against the facts per se in this article. It's technically right on each factoid presented here. Of course it's my network. Of course I've taken over. The ego has landed, hello? Ring a bell? But what do I resent? The idea that this guy seems to have that my take over is some sort of bad thing.
Yesterday afternoon, it was Olbermann who made the official announcement about Maddow. Bizarre? Yes. Especially since he called it a "fully authorized leak" in his DailyKos posting. You'd be right in thinking these announcements usually break by a spokesman, in a newspaper's business section perhaps, and not on a liberal blog that talent writes for.
I'm me. Rules do not apply. And if I, as leader of MSNBC wants to announce something on a blog, then I'll damn well announce it on my blog so my beloved fans can share in my continued victories with me. What's wrong with that?

When he jokes, "She wanted to [call the show] Countdown With Keith Olbermann," he's barely humoring himself. And in his blog post, he all but takes credit for her getting her own hour. Worth noting, too: Olbermann and Maddow share agents. He introduced her to his.
Of course we "share" agents. I believe in keeping my friends close (if I had any left) and my enemies closer. Better to be in my tent peeing out than peeing in, if you know what I mean. And re the humoring myself? It's all about me! Hello! What part of that doesn't this idiot get?

Incidentally, this also means Olbermann is taking credit for ousting Dan Abrams from his 9pm hour. It's no secret Olbermann hates Abrams, and vice versa. When Abrams was general manager of MSNBC, before returning to his primetime show, the two barely spoke, and Olbermann was confident enough in his chair to privately and, in barely blind form in public, bash Abrams.
Hee hee. Yeah, I'm the biggest swinging dick at MSNBC baby. And it's my way or the highway. First Tucker, now little Danny. Let him go hang at the Hamptons and date Hollywood startlets-General Manager of MSNBC my ass. I showed him.

He's been actively lobbying to have his own show repeat from 11pm-midnight, booting Jeff Zucker's "Doc Block" initiative. If it happens, Olbermann will effectively run 4 hours of the network's evening.
See what I mean? He says that like it's a bad thing. More me in primetime. It's what America wants needs. Yes, MSNBC would be perfect if they'd just rename it KONBC and run me 24/7. (Note to self: Lobby for all of the daytime lineup too).

And if you're still not certain Olbermann sees Maddow as more than just an ally, but a means of controlling the network, just look to last night's show, where he had Maddow fess up that he was responsible for her getting a show. And Olbermann half-joked he would stay on the air until 9:02pm to help Maddow's ratings with his own stretched lead-in. Don't be surprised when this actually happens. And also? Don't be surprised when Olbermann begins lobbying for control over the 7pm hour, currently helmed by Chris Matthews, so he can fix up his own ratings lead-in. (He's made no secret that he's not happy with Matthew's performance in that department.)
Okay so once again this Jossip guy fails to show me the proper respect befitting the fabulousness that is me. I don't like that. I like fawning articles which mention me as the 21st Century Murrow. But the little dick got one thing right, I made Maddow recognize who was boss. And I showed my fans who is Santa Claus, bringing them 3-hours of interrupted liberal programming. Again, it's what America needs.

Of course MSNBC is building its brand around its liberal politics, and Olbermann is the face of it. What's unnerving, though, is MSNBC's continued denial of this strategy. Instead, they're applying Fox News' open joke — that despite leaning conservative, they're still fair and balanced — to themselves. And whereas FNC seems to be in on the joke about its obvious bias, MSNBC isn't quite there yet.
Oh trust me, they're there. (I had to drag them kicking and screaming but they're there. Finally).

The only question left to be answered, then, is what to make of Phil Griffin? Is he the lame duck many think he is, or the puppet master behind Olbermann's ascent? A straw poll suggests the former.
He's kidding right? I run the network. It's my network. Phil is just my enabler. Sure he compared me to an abusive boyfriend. But he always comes running back for more. So does America. And why? Because I'm me and that's all you need to know.

9 comments:

Donna said...

What's missed in this is the obvious: that the story about Olbermann refusing to intro Dan Abrams that ran in the NY Post was indeed correct. What else has the Post printed about him that was true?

marinara said...

Who is the source for this story? "It's no secret that Olbermann hates Abrams", says a writer for Jossip. I never heard this particular 'secret' before, but I have heard that Olbermann hates everyone, and everyone hates him. An exaggeration, but true for some.

I won't miss Abrams, but I wish he'd leave Tweety alone. I like him just the way he is.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

Edited (main post) to add link to NY Post story which first reported Olbermann and Abrams feud.

marinara said...

That Page Six thing says nothing about a feud between Keith and Dan Abrams. It says he refuses to introduce Abrams' show, and the only attribution for that gossip is "some producers".

He probably doesn't like Abrams, Matthews, Scarborough, etc. That's how Keith is. He doesn't like anyone but his ol' buddy Dan Patrick, that baseball coach, Joe Torre, and himself!

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

You tell 'em Marinara. You're the kind of fan I like to have. Refuse to believe anything that's written about me unless the person saying it is willing to say it on the record, using their first and last names. Otherwise it's all crap. Even if at some later date it's validated as being truthful. Really is that so much to ask for from my fans? Suspend your common sense. Don't question. Accept what I say as the truth and the truth only and everything will be okay. Okay for me that is.

Donna said...

Ever heard the expression where there's smoke, there's fire? It's terribly coincidental don't you think that the rumors out there being floated by those nameless producers all repeat the same essential topic-that he's got an ego out of control who has taken over programming the network? That he hated Tucker & Dan and now they're gone. I don't think that's an accident. You may not know who those nameless producers are but I bet the writers writing these articles know exactly who they are and that's why you're beginning to see articles like this critical of him and what's going on at MSNBC. And none of it pains a very pretty picture of Keithy.

marinara said...

I know he's an egotistical bastard. That's why I love him!

I come here to abuse the object of my desire. He likes that, ya know. Said he was beaten up by girls all the time.

Keith Olbermann's Ego said...

I'm really beginning to like you Marinara. I love it when it hurts so good if you know what I mean.

flowergirl said...

I like her too. She's cool.